? Ex/ mum/ complications

[Sunshine2012]

Ok, so I met this boy ( so he was then) when I was 14! And unhappy at home, he was a bad boy and so took care of me when I needed him, I would literally do anything for him. We were on and off sadly for just under 2 years, being because when it was good it was amazing but when it was bad it was extreamly bad, he could and still can change mood in a second! The only issue being his temper, which got quite bad, not really sure what I'm allowed to say on here but it got out of hand and although he never directly punched me, he couldn't control his temper and would push me, drag me or spit on me ( when it was at its worst) and after a day of being followed around town being called every name under the sun , I decided I had to leave him, I was just about to turn 16, I had finished school ( got away from nasty girls that didn't like me and my mums boyfriend had finally left and we were all getting back on track) so I thought I'd be okay and better off without him although it was the hardest decision id had to make , I blocked him off everything and eventually spoke to someone about it all, but then decided I didn't want to go any further with it, he's not an angel but with me he's totally different I know every little thing about him, how to calm him but anyways so he tried to tell me he loved me and would change every chance he got, he got a full time job which I'm really proud of him for doing so and has stopped hanging around with people he shouldn't ( staying out of trouble) and I managed it! I knew I needed to be stable emotionally which I wasn't with him. I decided to stay alone because of course he was still on my mind every day!! Until in college I met a guy and he promised the world ( as they all do) but he seemed to be a true gentlteman, at first and although I was wary I let him show me how he would treat me right or whatever and eventually we got into a relationship and that lasted 9 months, till I realised he doesn't make me happy, so their wasn't a roller coaster in emotional, I was stable? But that isn't what I want?? I had to end it after the relationship lost all romance and he turned sterotypical and lazy, although this guy stopped smoking for me and got a job - eventually ! When he was 19 and should have had one any ways! We saw things very differently and he spoke down to me like I was stupid. I would think of my ex nearly everyday, if he was okay, having flash backs of our memories good or bad! It madee feel guilty every time because I shouldn't be thinking about him anymore. But during that time I would every now and then see my ex of 2 years, and every single time my heart would skip a beat and it would be literally all I could think about after. Obviously not being a good thing, but I though maybe it was normal to not lose feelings quickly for your first love, if I saw him we would be polite ask how eachother were etx make small talk and have to carry on, when walking away I would look back and so would he and I knew it took all his power to walk away from me he regretted it all massively. In the last month of my relationship with the 19yr old we barely spoke I fact for a whole week I heard nothing at all. He was busy crashing quad bikes and smoking ( not something I want to be part of ) so during this time I unblocked my ex, and literally I do not know why but he is all I can think about, he liked a picture of mine and it was all that matters maybe this sounds silly and I'm only 17 and should realise this happens all the time, but I don't think anyone else could ever make me feel the way he makes me feel, I forget about all the issues, nothing else matters and I can't help but smile and giggle! He messaged me and I was blunt and kept up the whole we need to keep a distance only because I know what would happen, we would just fall back into eachothers arms,

He came and met me and asked what's happening and asked if that was the right decision and to do whatever makes me happy, he is the only person that actually knows me, that actually cares if I am truly ok. Anyways so every since he's been sending me good morning messages all that asking if I'm

Okay and to have a lovely day before he goes of to work, and yesterday was his day of and I went to explain to him why we have to be friends and stay friends ( because I had to tell my mum that he wasn't always nice to me) and I did and then we went to his to change his jacket and I saw his little sister who has grown so much over this year who

Came straight over and gave me a cuddle, I ended up sitting with him and he couldn't help but give a cuddle and it may sound stupid but nothing has ever felt more right, I feel so happy and safe in his arms. I kept telling him

He can't and he didn't but I had missed him so so so much! And I know it's horrible because I was with someone else, but I had a day of feeling the happiest I have felt in a year, he kept kissing my hand and every time it took my breathe away, he even said to me why is it like this, why can't he get over me, he hasn't been with anyone else, he said he would marry me tomorrow if he could and there is no one else out there for him that could make him feel the way I do? All my feelings I had for him

Are as strong as ever and he is all I want. He brought me take away for dinner and mum came back as he was walking away and so I knew she'd seen him and told her I'd been with him today and she said you'll have to stop that Georgia I'm serious. And she ment it, but now I'm stuck. I seriously love this boy and I don't think our memories would ever fade or that it would ever change that every time I see him I just want to cuddle him and make sure he's okay! He has obviously no idea how to fix this or what we're supposed to do and neither do i? I leave home in a year, to go to uni and he would come with me if that's the way things turned out, please tell me your opinions / advise on if I'm being stupid or what, we have both grown up over this year a lot, I used to wind him up to the point of losing his temper and we were both at fault, to me it seems he has changed and I am wanting to give another chance although I said to the 19yr old I would never get back with him? Oh god I don't know what to do, all I do know is I don't think my feelings for him will ever fade. What to do about my mum? please help me? I have no one else to ask