Maddy Posted August 4, 2015 Share Posted August 4, 2015 Don't listen to people who tell you your parents are controlling because they love you. That is a bunch of BS, they can love you without trying to control you. It's something called balance meaning having a good relationship with your parents but at the same time being allowed to live your life. Society has to stop encouraging this behavior, these kind of parents have a problem and they need Jesus. Being controlling comes from the Devil. Love is not controlling and it should not produce anxiety, depression, sadness, and all kinds of negative feelings. Wake up to the truth. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 4, 2015 Share Posted August 4, 2015 My parents were very strict & they had extremely conservative views. Even as an adult while I was getting my graduate degree & lived in their house while they paid my tuition out of respect & in exchange for their financial support I felt obligated to abide by their wishes. Once I graduated & moved out, I was free to ignore them. So if as an adult you feel controlled by your parents it's up to you to act like an independent adult, move out of their house, forgo their financial assistance & stick up for yourself. However, if you are still benefiting from them, understand the costs of their help is that you abide by their rules, restrictions & "control." 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted August 4, 2015 Share Posted August 4, 2015 Don't listen to people who tell you your parents are controlling because they love you. That is a bunch of BS, they can love you without trying to control you. It's something called balance meaning having a good relationship with your parents but at the same time being allowed to live your life. Society has to stop encouraging this behavior, these kind of parents have a problem and they need Jesus. Being controlling comes from the Devil. Love is not controlling and it should not produce anxiety, depression, sadness, and all kinds of negative feelings. Wake up to the truth. Well I take offense to this! By Saying "Don't listen" you are controlling how I am to be. I'm done with the rebel years and even the controlling years....Life is so much nicer when the only one I can control is myself, because even my bladder some days has a mind of its own 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted August 4, 2015 Share Posted August 4, 2015 I left home before my 17th birthday, never slept in their house again, and never accepted a penny from them. I put myself through University, and established myself successfully in a profession. I have no debts, and don't owe anyone anything. So my parents had zero opportunity to control me. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 4, 2015 Share Posted August 4, 2015 One of your other threads on this subject was posted 2 years ago! http://www.loveshack.org/forums/familial/family/377709-adults-living-home If your parents are that overbearing, move out. But while you still live with them under their roof, yes you own them respect & they get to set the rules. The door is not barred shut. Your failure to behave like an adult & take financial responsibility for yourself is causing your problem. When you start acting like an adult maybe your parents will stop treating you like a kid. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Maddy Posted August 4, 2015 Author Share Posted August 4, 2015 One of your other threads on this subject was posted 2 years ago! http://www.loveshack.org/forums/familial/family/377709-adults-living-home If your parents are that overbearing, move out. But while you still live with them under their roof, yes you own them respect & they get to set the rules. The door is not barred shut. Your failure to behave like an adult & take financial responsibility for yourself is causing your problem. When you start acting like an adult maybe your parents will stop treating you like a kid. FYI I no longer live with them but they still won't own up to their mistakes. Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted August 4, 2015 Share Posted August 4, 2015 One of your other threads on this subject was posted 2 years ago! http://www.loveshack.org/forums/familial/family/377709-adults-living-home If your parents are that overbearing, move out. But while you still live with them under their roof, yes you own them respect & they get to set the rules. The door is not barred shut. Your failure to behave like an adult & take financial responsibility for yourself is causing your problem. When you start acting like an adult maybe your parents will stop treating you like a kid. Quite right. The magic word is 'independence,' and that means doing your own laundry, in your very own washing machine Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted August 4, 2015 Share Posted August 4, 2015 FYI I no longer live with them but they still won't own up to their mistakes. Here is something I have learned: controlling people will never own up to their mistakes/flaws/inflicted hurts. Don't expect it. The closest to an apology you might get is "I'm sorry you feel that way." I have learned this through experience with many types of controlling people. And if you push too hard, it'll blow back in your face. Just accept that certain types of people are incapable of being wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 4, 2015 Share Posted August 4, 2015 FYI I no longer live with them but they still won't own up to their mistakes. And they never will. Part of the maturation process is accepting that your parents are flawed human beings. If the truly did abuse you, get some therapy but at some point how ever rotten your childhood may have been the rest of your life, especially your future is yours to control. Make it what you want. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted August 4, 2015 Share Posted August 4, 2015 Honestly, continuing to be afraid of or wrapped up in the person or people who tried to control or abuse you is just continuing to give them control. Letting go of the illusion that I had any say over a few people's behavior was/is scary, but it is also freeing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ltjg45 Posted August 4, 2015 Share Posted August 4, 2015 This topic is interesting to me because my mother WANT me to stay in her house for her own benefit and yet I prefer to just move out and be on my own. Right now, the situation with my family has gotten worse. We are about to move to another apartment (which costs another $300+ more a month than the previous place we are at right now), we are supposed to be out by July 1st and yet we are still here, paying rent for the 2nd month in a row passed our old lease. Nothing has been packed and prepared for moving so far. So I can see this moving experience to be even worse than last time. Even right now while typing this message, my mother is over there complaining about this situation to my troublesome brother, who I can't trust at all. I am SO tempted to just leave and let the chips fall. In fact, I got no other choice anyway if I am going to move on......but I couldn't help but be curious how fast her situation will get once I do leave. I also am figuring out HOW I should leave. At this point, I really do feel like I want to teach my mother a lesson from the school of hard knocks. I just don't know if I want to do it that way or just give her the benefit of the doubt and warn her ahead of time. It is not like I didn't warn her before. She simply chose to ignore it every time. I am ready to make a liar out of her. Link to post Share on other sites
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