Boyfriend of 8 months messaged an acquaintance on OK Cupid.

[nadine5]

I didn't even realize he was on dating sites.

 

I knew a girl from college, she was very pretty, and I haven't seen her in a very long time, but she likes a lot of photos on my FB page. My bf has never seen nor met her.

 

Anyway, she texted me last night at about 11 pm with a screenshot of a message, saying: "Isn't this your boyfriend?"

 

Yep, he had messaged her. "Hey, how's it going ?? I'm C," it said.

 

I confronted him last night. He called me a crazy stalker. Said he knew I was stalking him and was trying to TEST me by going on OK C. He also said all of my friends are crazy.

 

I told him it was over.

 

He has spent the entire day apologizing. Telling me we needed to work on things anyway. That he would never cheat. TOTALLY LOYAL, he says. He was testing me, he said again, because I've had some UNNECESSARY Facebook trust issues in the past (won't add me as his gf, doesn't add any pics of me, doesn't like any of my pics, adds girls he met at bars). Told me he wanted to spend his life with me. He would never do anything like that again. He took it too far, he said.

 

I don't want to dump him. I love him. But I feel like I have to. What do you guys think.

 

..

 

I must add, when I saw the pic of that screenshot, my heart dropped to my stomach. I never thought he was looking for someone else. Never.

Edited August 4, 2015 by nadine5

[smackie9]

If he actually just owned up to it, expressed why he was doing it in the first place, and took responsibility for it, actually felt guilty for his actions, then yes this is something that could be worked on, BUT instead he tried to gaslight you into thinking that it's all your fault because you and your friends are stalkers, and crazy, THEN back peddles, starts trying to pull your heart strings by talking the "I want to marry you, I would never cheat on you, wants to spend the rest of his life with you, blah blah blah.....He's a jerk.

 

IMO go with your gut.....could you ever trust him? probably not. Do you want to have to check up on him? That's no way to have a relationship with someone.

[smackie9]

 

 

He was testing me, he said again, because I've had some UNNECESSARY Facebook trust issues in the past (won't add me as his gf, doesn't add any pics of me, doesn't like any of my pics, adds girls he met at bars)

 

I have no idea why you would want to be with someone who lacks any kind of respect for you and your relationship. This right here is very telling, that he is not loyal and never has been......he is a con artist. This would be grounds for a breakup.

[hakim]

God knows where it would have gone if this girl was a total stranger to you and him - actually, I've got a very good idea and it wouldn't please you.

 

Going on a dating site and talking to girls behind your back to "test" you should be a massive red flag ... in fact, it should be a black flag (i.e break up now).

 

 

 

Ultimately it's your choice, but I'd recommend to get out.

[Diezel]

Dump him. Why wouldn't you want to?

So he can cheat on you?

[dpn4u]

Here's my MO because I want to have a meaningful relationship:

I leave my profile up til my second date. If I'm still having fun all of my profiles get suspended after I find out how my counterpart feels about continuing.

 

If it goes south I decide to end it then end it.

 

If things are going well after 6 months I delete my suspended profiles.

 

That's just me. It would appear that your BF is not serious. You can either decide you feel the same way and set up your own profile(s) or break up with him if you want something more real.

 

I would assume the relationship isn't serious from his perspective and decide what you want based on that.