The girl of my dreams. The perfect one for me. The one who got away?

[OneInAMil]

Hi all, firstly I would like to thank anyone taking time out of their day to read this and trying to understand this extremely complex and saddening situation of mine. As silly as it may sound.

 

I am 21 years of age and from Ireland. Well to start off, a little background information, as pointless as it may sound I feel it is important. When i was coming to the end of my school years (17-18yo) I had this girlfriend. I had never found this girl attractive in any way or form before, we fell in love exactly like a love story you may read about or see in a film. I treated this girl like a princess, I mean I genuinely did everything in my power to keep her happy and put a smile back on a broken face, I managed to mend her broken heart and put her on a pedestal above everything and anything. But certain circumstances arose and came about, I was left absolutely heart-broken. I never felt truly myself ever again. I didn t like the idea of having my heart smashed into a million pieces yet again, definitely one of the worst feeling one could experience as i m sure many of you can relate to. I eventually ended up getting in another relationship early this year but never felt the way I did about the previous girlfriend as I did with this girl. I cut things off not out of a selfish point of view but in order to ultimately save this girl.

 

But just a matter of a few days ago, something drastic in my life happened, something I never dreamed would happen a guy like me. I went into the city centre with my best friend to have a few drinks and hang out, we ended up talking to these two Spanish girls. Long story short, one of these girls was the most beautiful girl I have ever seen and know I ever will see. From the first connection of eyes I was reeled in, the first touch of hands I was grasped. We talked for the whole night and she was amazing, I could just tell she was something extra-ordinary- not just looks wise, but also on a much deeper lever, her personality was something I have never come across in my life. The girl who first stole my heart wasn't fit enough to lace this girls boots. This girl could have any man she wanted, every single guy who passed tried to chat her up. For the first time in a long time I felt me again. The nerves I had talking to such a beautiful girl quickly vanished. I mean, this girl had the darkest brown eyes you could ever imagine, her smile could melt me quicker than a volcano eruption, her dimples. Everything. At this stage nothing had happened nor did I imagine something could happen. At the end of the night we kissed under a street light as traditional music played faintly in the back-ground before she had to leave. We exchanged facebook names and agreed to meet the next day- which didn't happen due to a number of reasons, we ended up meeting the day after that. I was worried it was all just a mistake but no, things just got better. That night ended up being one of the best experiences of my life, there wasn't a moment either of us didn't have a smile on our faces or were laughing. We stayed together late into the night (without sleeping together I will add). The problem was she was going back to Madrid the morning after. We have talked a lot since but i'm not sure she feels exactly as I do, after all i'm fully aware how ridiculous this sounds and i'm terrified to tell her incase she thinks it's stupid. I just can't get this girl off my mind. But as stupid as this story sounds, seeing as though I barely know her, is it not possible for hearts to connect in a way the mind could never fully understand? Is it not possible that true love does exist? What's so ridiculous about that after all. It pains me to say, I don't have the financial capabilities to move ship to Spain as much as I would definitely drop everything- crazy I know, nor do I believe she could do the same and come to Ireland. My mind is in uproar thinking of everything we could be but sadly I never see it coming to fruition. Why does the world and more importantly the heart work in such mysterious ways? To be honest, it feels good to get this off my chest as there is no-body I could talk to without being laughed at or myself feeling idiotic for feeling this way. Any opinions or ideas would be more than greatly appreciated, Thank you so so much.

[ExpatInItaly]

It's great that you had such a nice time together. Those exciting sparks certainly make for some fantastic memories, and it's nice you're staying in touch.

 

What you need to be careful of is putting the horse before the cart. The reality is that you barely know her. That is what makes or breaks a true relationship. I think you're getting a bit caught up in the initial excitement and assuming that's a reflection of who she really is. Yes, we all need a certain amount of chemistry to form a connection but it's not all that a solid foundation is built on. You shouldn't even entertain the idea of moving anywhere until after you get to know someone. It's a much better idea to communicate and visit each other if possible. See her for the person she truly is, in everyday life. What are her goals? How does she deal with conflict? What are her core values? These things take time to discover. And those are the things with which you should be weighing the possibility of a deeper connection.

[justwhoiam]

Hi all

Hi OneInAMil,

Welcome to LS.

 

We exchanged facebook names and agreed to meet the next day- which didn't happen due to a number of reasons

What were the reasons? Can you tell?

 

We have talked a lot since but i'm not sure she feels exactly as I do

Right. You can't know.

 

is it not possible for hearts to connect in a way the mind could never fully understand?

It is possible. Love is often unexplainable.

 

Is it not possible that true love does exist?

Of course true love exists. Why are you doubting that? Maybe you did not experience it yet. But it does exist.

 

I don't have the financial capabilities to move ship to Spain as much as I would definitely drop everything- crazy I know

Nothing can be as cheap as your parents' house...

 

My mind is in uproar thinking of everything we could be but sadly I never see it coming to fruition.

If you feel that way, then stop daydreaming.

 

Why does the world and more importantly the heart work in such mysterious ways?

Romeo and Juliet wondered the same.

 

Any opinions or ideas would be more than greatly appreciated, Thank you so so much.

I think dreams are possible only if you believe in them, despite adversities.

[Qboro90]

I'm going to caution you with confusing love with lust. While I'm sure you've heard at love at first site, that is rarely the case. First impressions and early connections are what attract us to someone but the reality is you really only know the tip of the ice berg with this girl.

 

Is it possible that you were more infatuated with the fact that she was the most beautiful girl you ever spoke with that reciprocated the attraction and that was an ego boosting high for you? If she wasn't as pretty do you think you'd still move to Spain for her or was her utter Beauty what has you all giddy and love struck? Sometimes when I would hook up or interact with a girl who was "out of my league" the emotions I felt disguise themselves as love.

 

You state that you met the love of your life when you were 17, and then dated another girl and broke up and until now you were hung up on that first girl. Just think about the Next girl you have a connection with. There's always another girl bud. She might not be the next girl you meet but I bet you thsg the next "10" who flirts with you, you'll forget about Spain.