mary_mary15 Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 Question for the guys...do you keep in regular contact/communication with your ex's? Like phone/text/FB messages on a regular basis. Say 1x/week. If so and you're in a relationship, does your gf mind or not like it? Had this convo recently with my friend. Really curious what others think. I guess this is a question for the ladies too...if your bf keeps in regular contact with his ex...does that matter to you? Mary
carhill Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 I never have. This past weekend, some friends whom I was visiting across the country, who knew my exW while we were married, asked me if I was still in touch with her. My answer was the last time I talked with her, on the phone, was when she called me when her best friend, who was also a friend of mine, had died. That was it, and that was over 18 months ago. With other relationships prior, once it was over, done. Never crossed paths again. Typical? Unknown.
PegNosePete Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 I don't. But my mate is best friends with his ex (and her husband).
d0nnivain Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 EXs are EXs for a reason. There is no reason to keep in contact with them in the immediate aftermath of a break up. I do believe in being polite & spending 5 minutes on banal conversation (how's the family?) if you bump into them but that's it. As the years pass, that is a different story. My husband actually became friends with my HS BF after my 25th reunion & now the two couples do stuff together once in a while. I did not stay with guys who were still in regular communication with recent EXs.
Vercetti Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 No they lost the privlage of my time and window into my life by becoming ex's. They have nothing to offer, if.want to chat about nothing there are millions of other people can do such with. I value myself, perhaps if DID not and wished for drama and inaporate conversation I would. Hah don't need updates cause knew where thier life's were going before they did.
Clockwork Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 I never have. I feel that if you do, then you hamper your future. If you are constantly looking back and don't see what you have in front of you (a new partner) then why be with this person? I'd be polite if we bumped into each other, and I have, but I never end the conversation with "We should get together sometime". My wife is all I need now. 1
deadelvis Posted August 5, 2015 Posted August 5, 2015 For the first couple years I stay friends with long term ex's. Then the friendship fades and it becomes once a year "just saying hello". Keeping in touch with casual hookups is a big no-no. I feel this is normal and most people do the same. However if the ex is still flirty, it's best to go NC.
CrystalCastles Posted August 6, 2015 Posted August 6, 2015 Under no conditions would I be ok with the guy I was dating talking to his ex. I recently dumped my bf of one year. This was after I found out that he felt it was perfectly acceptable to not only chat up exes, but go to their house for a sleepover, and sleep in the same bed as the ex, with the ex in it, while in a relationship. I was like,.......WHAT?! I tried talking to him about it and he absolutely refused to see how that was unreasonable. That and many other nutty things about him made me terminate the relationship. Otherwise I am ok with a guy having an ex as a facebook friend, but he cannot be talking to her via message, text or IRL. Period. Its a red flag and a dealbreaker for me.
smackie9 Posted August 6, 2015 Posted August 6, 2015 Hell no! I kicked them to the curb for a reason. And I would never date anyone that is still clinging onto their ex......red flag!
mystikmind2005 Posted August 10, 2015 Posted August 10, 2015 This is an interesting thread, This is hilarious... My ex, after insisting on divorce without any marriage counseling, because even despite 10 years together and a 3 year old daughter, apparently I'm not worth the effort to even bother lifting one finger to try saving the marriage. Oh and on top of that, she does not allow my daughter to stay at my place overnight because i am such a bad father as well..... the hilarious part is .... She 'expects' us to still be friends!!! and makes out i am the bad guy to behave so cold and distant. i have been wondering if she was right, but since reading this thread, well, that changes things in my mind. Let the ice age continue!
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