LookAtThisPOst Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 I was wondering, are there such online dating "don'ts" that exist when it comes to online dating? I see women that state sometimes, "If you taking a pic of your abs in the bathroom mirror, please move along, I'm sure the ladies think you're great, but not my thing." I mean, if you're going to put up a swimsuit picture, shouldn't it be at a venue where you should be wearing a swimsuit like at a pool or beach? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
SycamoreCircle Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/336060-consolidated-discussion-online-dating Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 (edited) I was wondering, are there such online dating "don'ts" that exist when it comes to online dating? I see women that state sometimes, "If you taking a pic of your abs in the bathroom mirror, please move along, I'm sure the ladies think you're great, but not my thing." I mean, if you're going to put up a swimsuit picture, shouldn't it be at a venue where you should be wearing a swimsuit like at a pool or beach? YES please! When I was doing OLD, I always questioned profiles that had overly contrived selfies that often felt very out of context. I think it's important to include pictures of yourself in a variety of settings BUT there is a big difference between pics of you in organic social situations and ones of you awkwardly posing in your skivvies amidst a pile of dirty laundry strewn across your bedroom floor making painful duck-face gestures at the camera in the mirror NEXT!! I remember being on this one particular dating site where I seemed to be approached by every possible mismatch one could imagine. At one point I got very frustrated and felt compelled to add a disclaimer in my profile that said something like; "Please don't contact me if your pictures show you sporting a mullet, posing with your car or motorbike, shirtless and holding a beer - especially in a can!" Yeah, I know not exactly tactful but you can see how utterly frustrated I was with the quality of prospects on that site. I quickly deleted my profile after a few short days and (thankfully) have never had to write that disclaimer again. As for a list of do's and don'ts there are plenty but the biggest secret is that in the vast majority of cases no one reads profiles therefore pictures are everything! As I've said countless times on here on the subject, OLD is a game of numbers. Edited August 5, 2015 by Michelle ma Belle 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 (edited) I'm one of those rare women who appreciates swimsuit pics. Lets me see the bod. I am more annoyed by LOW LIGHTING pics. You would be surprised at how many men take pictures in the dark and put them up on their profile. Edited August 5, 2015 by Popsicle Link to post Share on other sites
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted August 5, 2015 Author Share Posted August 5, 2015 I'm one of those rare women who appreciates swimsuit pics. Lets me see the bod. Even if it's a corny one taken in the bathroom mirror? Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 Even if it's a corny one taken in the bathroom mirror? I am the opposite. I think it makes him look like a billy no mates and a bit silly... Same for the women. Screams desperation to me from either sex... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 Even if it's a corny one taken in the bathroom mirror? Nope, It doesn't matter. Link to post Share on other sites
loveweary11 Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 Bring em on! Much prefer to know what I'm getting into than to waste time only to find out I'm not attracted physically. I have a single shirtless selfie in my profiles online too. Doesn't seem to slow down the responses. Increases them, actually. And.. the responses are more concrete.... they know they want to meet you, rather than than write on a "maybe" feeling. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Hope Shimmers Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 Men on OLD... avoid: 1) pics with no shirt on - I don't care how great you look without a shirt, it's a red flag 2) pics of your motorcycle 3) pics of your car 4) pics of your pets 5) pics of your boat 6) pics of yourself with your ex next to you sloppily photoshopped out 3 Link to post Share on other sites
LoveMachine67 Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 Men on OLD... avoid: 1) pics with no shirt on - I don't care how great you look without a shirt, it's a red flag 2) pics of your motorcycle 3) pics of your car 4) pics of your pets 5) pics of your boat 6) pics of yourself with your ex next to you sloppily photoshopped out Now you tell me... Link to post Share on other sites
Hope Shimmers Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 Now you tell me... Yeah, that's where you screwed up 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Z Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 (edited) I have a single shirtless selfie in my profiles online too. Doesn't seem to slow down the responses. Increases them, actually. And.. the responses are more concrete.... they know they want to meet you, rather than than write on a "maybe" feeling. No doubt it attracts different sorts of women - like the ones who are fine with gratuitous sex. Might be a good way to filter. You really do have to consider who is giving advice here and what she might want in a man. If a woman is looking for fun and nothing serious, maybe the no shirt thing works. If she wants a man to show off to mom, or if she is religious, or if she isn't okay with casual sex, then it might be another matter. Edited August 6, 2015 by Robert Z 1 Link to post Share on other sites
E-Squared Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 In a weird way I don't complain because I just know that these pics are done for guys to look at. If anything, I laugh at these girls, because they are obviously going to draw attention to creepers online. Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 (edited) Have you ever heard of the expression "Different Strokes For Different Folks"? It's personally not my thing (the bikini pictures) but plenty of guys don't mind them. Maybe a woman who posts bikini pictures is looking for intense carnal attraction first. OR maybe instead she just feels the competition is fierce and she wants to stand out--and she doesn't see the moral difference between being seen in a swimsuit by "everyone" at the beach, versus being seen online in the same swimsuit via a photograph of her taken using a mirror in a room in her house. On a related note--believe it or not--a shirtless picture is fine to some women. Not everyone has read the OLD rule book that you seem to keep referring to in all your threads. Some may not know that there even is such a thing. Edited August 6, 2015 by Imajerk17 1 Link to post Share on other sites
D.Mc. Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 Hi LookatthisPost, A lot of people have issues with the prevalence of selfies in general in OLD. I've never been satisfied with any photo taken of me anywhere, anytime by anyone. A selfie seems like a better option. Anyway, the truth is that the more of her body shown...the more responses a woman will get on the free sites at least. Sometimes the same body in the same suit at the beach w/the wind blowing & the sun causing weird shading on the body looks way less attractive than in a soft-white bulb lit bathroom. I just wish men on OLD would give some thought to the background during their selfies...the other poster who mentioned dirty laundry strewn about the bedroom...LOL! There's a lot of that going on in OLD. If women are to be schooled for the bikini selfies, I think men need to hear a word or two about the gym selfies...it's always the same pose too LOL! Women notice these things. Also, I grew up in the South Bronx & traveled a lot around NYC...I know a "projects" elevator when I see it...why would you take a selfie there? LOL! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 (edited) No doubt it attracts different sorts of women - like the ones who are fine with gratuitous sex. Might be a good way to filter. You really do have to consider who is giving advice here and what she might want in a man. If a woman is looking for fun and nothing serious, maybe the no shirt thing works. If she wants a man to show off to mom, or if she is religious, or if she isn't okay with casual sex, then it might be another matter. I'm not okay with casual sex, but it's sure nice to see what I'm getting (or not getting) with the swimsuit pic. I mentioned already that I dont like low light pics, and I also dont like to see more pics of other things or people, than of him. For example, 5 pics of your motorcycle or dog, or kids, or vacation photos. All I want to see is him. Leave the other stuff for later. Edited August 6, 2015 by Popsicle 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kilgore Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 I'm not okay with casual sex, but it's sure nice to see what I'm getting (or not getting) with the swimsuit pic. I mentioned already that I dont like low light pics, and I also dont like to see more pics of other things or people, than of him. For example, 5 pics of your motorcycle or dog, or kids, or vacation photos. All I want to see is him. Leave the other stuff for later. i never did do online dating. but, if i did, i think i would have to include a pic of myself shirtless in a speedo. only fair - people should know what they're getting. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Z Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 I'm not okay with casual sex, but it's sure nice to see what I'm getting (or not getting) with the swimsuit pic. Well then, perhaps it can be used to filter out women who have no sex drive. What do you think? What is the difference between a woman who wants to see some skin, and one who wants to see some sweaters? Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 I've always found it ironic that some women consider it an online dating deadly sin when a guy posts a shirtless pic. Yet they have no problem posting bikini pics. It's funny though. Just for the hell of it, I included a shirtless pic on my OKC profile awhile back. My views and responses tripled. So I guess the "no shirtless" rule only applies to guys that are out of shape? Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Z Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 I've always found it ironic that some women consider it an online dating deadly sin when a guy posts a shirtless pic. Yet they have no problem posting bikini pics. It's funny though. Just for the hell of it, I included a shirtless pic on my OKC profile awhile back. My views and responses tripled. So I guess the "no shirtless" rule only applies to guys that are out of shape? It would be really interesting to know if that changed the types of women attracted. Did you notice any difference in the types of responses you got? Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 Well then, perhaps it can be used to filter out women who have no sex drive. What do you think? What is the difference between a woman who wants to see some skin, and one who wants to see some sweaters? I don't know, RobZ. I just know what I like. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Z Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 I don't know, RobZ. I just know what I like. It does bring up an interesting point. The psychology of profile shot selection - who is attracted to what - is something I've never seen studied or analyzed. It does raise a big red flag for me if something as benign as a bare chest is a red flag! It seems pretty reasonable to me that a lot of women would be like you. They would like to know what they're getting, just like men do. If a guy is fit enough to sport bare chest shots, then he should probably do it if he wants to attract women who care. If a woman doesn't care what kind of shape a guy is in then she wouldn't seem to be looking at him sexually. Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 I've always found it ironic that some women consider it an online dating deadly sin when a guy posts a shirtless pic. Yet they have no problem posting bikini pics. It's funny though. Just for the hell of it, I included a shirtless pic on my OKC profile awhile back. My views and responses tripled. So I guess the "no shirtless" rule only applies to guys that are out of shape? I would find it close to impossible not to look. And frankly, I love it (even if he is not my type). I just really like male bodies, but I'm a girl who watches sports just to oogle the bodies. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 It does bring up an interesting point. The psychology of profile shot selection - who is attracted to what - is something I've never seen studied or analyzed. It does raise a big red flag for me if something as benign as a bare chest is a red flag! It seems pretty reasonable to me that a lot of women would be like you. They would like to know what they're getting, just like men do. If a guy is fit enough to sport bare chest shots, then he should probably do it if he wants to attract women who care. If a woman doesn't care what kind of shape a guy is in then she wouldn't seem to be looking at him sexually. I certainly wouldn't discourage men to post them, but I know there are plenty who wouldn't, so there's someone for everyone. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Z Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 I certainly wouldn't discourage men to post them, but I know there are plenty who wouldn't, so there's someone for everyone. If a guy works his ass off to stay in shape, he probably wants to attract women who care. When you think about it that way it seems self evident. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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