The bathroom bikini selfie - a online dating "don't"?

[guest569]

OP, I would rather not see you in a bikini.

[LookAtThisPOst]

or if she is religious, or if she isn't okay with casual sex, then it might be another matter.

 

She had, "Christian and very serious about it." as the selection of her religion. Then she does the bikini bathroom pic? lol

 

Now that I think about it, I think I've seen her already, she just recently uploaded that picture. Even worse, it was a picture from her neck down (her head wasn't even in the photo.)

Edited August 6, 2015 by LookAtThisPOst

[LookAtThisPOst]

So I guess the "no shirtless" rule only applies to guys that are out of shape?

 

Well, from the looks of her, she had a nice shape...but didn't look toned. Had curves in the right places. Fair skinned. Had body type as "Average" and didn't speak of working out in her profile.

 

Soft, but not toned. I would say "average" body like she says. But I think a nice figure. I dated a slender woman that wasn't in shape...looked great in a bikini. (had a long torso, lol)

 

There's some women that can pull off wearing bikinis if they aren't overeaters.

[LookAtThisPOst]

Have you ever heard of the expression "Different Strokes For Different Folks"? It's personally not my thing (the bikini pictures) but plenty of guys don't mind them. Maybe a woman who posts bikini pictures is looking for intense carnal attraction first. OR maybe instead she just feels the competition is fierce and she wants to stand out--and she doesn't see the moral difference between being seen in a swimsuit by "everyone" at the beach, versus being seen online in the same swimsuit via a photograph of her taken using a mirror in a room in her house.

 

On a related note--believe it or not--a shirtless picture is fine to some women. Not everyone has read the OLD rule book that you seem to keep referring to in all your threads. Some may not know that there even is such a thing.

 

Hey, I read articles online when it comes to "online dating do's and don'ts", that's where I get my information or just friends at the events I go to when they talk of online dating.

 

There's this one, that spouts off how she goes to church weekly and seeks the same in a man (has no kids), but flaunts herself as a w**re in her OK Cupid pics. It's like every single one of her is in the mirror in a bikini, an outfit you'd see at a dance club, or a gym photo....duck face included. Very posed photos.

 

Even has links to her FB and Instagram profiles IN her OK Cupid profile.

 

But hey, she's looking for a "serious" relationship. Kind of hard to take that seriously.

Edited August 6, 2015 by LookAtThisPOst

[LookAtThisPOst]

Hi LookatthisPost,

 

A lot of people have issues with the prevalence of selfies in general in OLD. I've never been satisfied with any photo taken of me anywhere, anytime by anyone.

 

A selfie seems like a better option.

 

I find that hard to believe, in fact a picture taken by a friend is the best option. You simply can't see anything with a selfie as they are mostly taken at arms distance if you're not using a mirror. A lot of them are taken above the head, so you're left guessing trying to make out what their body looks like.

 

Sometimes the same body in the same suit at the beach w/the wind blowing & the sun causing weird shading on the body looks way less attractive than in a soft-white bulb lit bathroom.

 

 

"Weird" shading? Never heard of a such a thing. When I take photos and if I want a good picture, I take it outside. When I put stuff on Ebay occasionally, I actually take the item outside for a photo.

 

Actually, the lighting outside is the best lighting to give a representative and accurate measure of what you're appearance is. Not sure where you got that idea.

[Heatherknows]

I'm one of those rare women who appreciates swimsuit pics. Lets me see the bod.

 

I am more annoyed by LOW LIGHTING pics.

 

You would be surprised at how many men take pictures in the dark and put them up on their profile.

 

I don't see a problem with bathing suit shots as long as they are recent and untouched.

[elaine567]

"Weird" shading? Never heard of a such a thing. When I take photos and if I want a good picture, I take it outside. When I put stuff on Ebay occasionally, I actually take the item outside for a photo.

 

Actually, the lighting outside is the best lighting to give a representative and accurate measure of what you're appearance is. Not sure where you got that idea.

 

Outdoor lighting can be very harsh for taking pics of people, and shadows can play havoc too with features, so NOT necessarily an accurate representation at all, any photographer will tell you that.

[Heatherknows]

Outdoor lighting can be very harsh for taking pics of people, and shadows can play havoc too with features, so NOT necessarily an accurate representation at all, any photographer will tell you that.

 

It depends how you work with the light. Outdoor lighting is very flattering on features if taken with the sun at a certain angle. I've taken tons of selfies so I'm sort of mastering the art.

[Michelle ma Belle]

Listen, anyone doing the OLD knows that a certain level of attractiveness is paramount for increasing ones odds. All you have to go by are a few carefully selected pics of someone to determine if their wink-worthy. Very few people anymore fill out their profiles never mind read them so looks are everything online.

 

As much as I hate to say this there IS a huge difference between women and men when it comes to body shots and giving off initial impressions.

 

There is no question that women are just as hungry to analyze the physical attributes of a prospect as men are BUT when it comes to women, our physiques can vary DRAMATICALLY!

 

Comparing a group of women side by side all weighing the same weight can LOOK dramatically different compared to a group of men.

 

I mean, how many men's magazines and male directed marketing dedicate entire articles to determining which fruit their body shape most resembles?

 

Men don't worry or suffer from cellulite or thunder thighs or junk in the trunk or saggy boobs or Buddha belly or cankles the way women do. Not to mention that women are masters of deception thanks to Spanx and push-up bras and Instagram filters

 

So as much as I'm not a fan of skin pics (male or female) nor the shallow one-dimensional representation that OLD seems to breed I can't really blame men for wanting to see some kind of full body pic of the women they're initially interested in.

 

It's a mad, mad world :/

[LookAtThisPOst]

Listen, anyone doing the OLD knows that a certain level of attractiveness is paramount for increasing ones odds. All you have to go by are a few carefully selected pics of someone to determine if their wink-worthy. Very few people anymore fill out their profiles never mind read them so looks are everything online.

 

As much as I hate to say this there IS a huge difference between women and men when it comes to body shots and giving off initial impressions.

 

There is no question that women are just as hungry to analyze the physical attributes of a prospect as men are BUT when it comes to women, our physiques can vary DRAMATICALLY!

 

Comparing a group of women side by side all weighing the same weight can LOOK dramatically different compared to a group of men.

 

I mean, how many men's magazines and male directed marketing dedicate entire articles to determining which fruit their body shape most resembles?

 

Men don't worry or suffer from cellulite or thunder thighs or junk in the trunk or saggy boobs or Buddha belly or cankles the way women do. Not to mention that women are masters of deception thanks to Spanx and push-up bras and Instagram filters

 

So as much as I'm not a fan of skin pics (male or female) nor the shallow one-dimensional representation that OLD seems to breed I can't really blame men for wanting to see some kind of full body pic of the women they're initially interested in.

 

It's a mad, mad world :/

 

Yeah, I knew of a guy who described his ex-wife's appearance in comparison to clothed vs. nude... that she looked great in business attire, even of the form fitting, professional variety...kind of like the attire you see female news anchors wear.

 

A lot of men around the office would be checking her out.

 

However, he told me when she was in the buff or swimsuit, there was a lot of flab on her belly and her breasts were like cow utters and this wasn't post-pregnancy..she never had children.

 

He said it especially looked to hang when she bent over. (I hate to provide such a visual, but I kind of think he was rather a superficial person when it came to looks as I've seen cute "pooches" on women in swim suits)

 

However, I could only go off by what he said, but apparently people can look great dressed, but terrible naked? *head scratching*

[Heatherknows]

 

I mean, how many men's magazines and male directed marketing dedicate entire articles to determining which fruit their body shape most resembles?

 

 

LOL! FU*k fruit.

[elaine567]

Yeah, I knew of a guy who described his ex-wife's appearance in comparison to clothed vs. nude... that she looked great in business attire, even of the form fitting, professional variety...kind of like the attire you see female news anchors wear.

 

A lot of men around the office would be checking her out.

 

However, he told me when she was in the buff or swimsuit, there was a lot of flab on her belly and her breasts were like cow utters and this wasn't post-pregnancy..she never had children.

 

He said it especially looked to hang when she bent over. (I hate to provide such a visual, but I kind of think he was rather a superficial person when it came to looks as I've seen cute "pooches" on women in swim suits)

 

However, I could only go off by what he said, but apparently people can look great dressed, but terrible naked? *head scratching*

 

Why are you scratching your head?

Does that surprise you?

[SammySammy]

Why are you scratching your head?

Does that surprise you?

 

Agreed. It's no surprise some people look better with their clothes on.

[Robert Z]

Men don't worry or suffer from cellulite or thunder thighs or junk in the trunk or saggy boobs or Buddha belly or cankles the way women do. Not to mention that women are masters of deception thanks to Spanx and push-up bras and Instagram filters

 

Now now, we can loose our trunk, grow boobs, and end up with dickydo disease. [stomach sticks out farther than your dicky do]. I don't think I saw my penis for ten years.

 

The point is, I have made radical lifestyle changes and busted my ass for years to look as good as I do now. So it's not like men have it easy compared to women.

[Michelle ma Belle]

Now now, we can loose our trunk, grow boobs, and end up with dickydo disease. [stomach sticks out farther than your dicky do]. I don't think I saw my penis for ten years.

 

The point is, I have made radical lifestyle changes and busted my ass for years to look as good as I do now. So it's not like men have it easy compared to women.

 

Honestly, I didn't intend nor want this to be yet another heated debate about weight (I've read enough of those thank you very much) but rather I was just pointing out that for men, their overall shapes are pretty similar compared to women. A head shot/chest shot of a man can usually give most women a decent reading on the guy's physicality where as it can vary considerably with women because of the crazy variations in our body types due to genetics. We're curvier and naturally carry around more fat then men and it gets distributed differently.

 

I have a lovely friend who, just looking at her pics from the waist up you would assume she's tall and slender but if you pan the lens you'll come to find that from the waist down she is disproportionately larger, much larger.

 

Most men aren't built that way as far I know. Does this make sense?

 

Ugh!!! I know what I want to say but I'm not sure I'm doing a very good job of it here. I sincerely do NOT want this to turn into a fat shaming or weight debate . I was just agreeing, albeit reluctantly, with the men who want to see at least one full body pic and why that might be, bikini be damned.

 

Sorry OP if I this got off the rails.

[SammySammy]

If a guy works his ass off to stay in shape, he probably wants to attract women who care.

 

 

When you think about it that way it seems self evident.

 

True. He's doesn't want to be with the type of woman that thinks a bare chest is a red flag anyway. Sounds to me like she knows she doesn't qualify and is taking herself out of the equation. As she should.

[SammySammy]

I don't OLD, but if I did these are the people I would avoid like the plague: women who take pics in messy rooms.

[No Limit]

I guess I expect the photos to represent the person. And if for example he has to display how pumped up he is (especially when the guy is little more than skin and bone) I'd translate that to insecurity/ego problems etc. Same counts for any person expressing themselves as obviously lascivious in photos or their behavior.

 

I'm not doing OLD but I registered out of curiousity for a few hours some time ago and what I also noticed was the generally terrible photo quality. Really, don't take photos of your face with a lamp behind your head.

[Robert Z]

I guess I expect the photos to represent the person. And if for example he has to display how pumped up he is (especially when the guy is little more than skin and bone) I'd translate that to insecurity/ego problems etc. Same counts for any person expressing themselves as obviously lascivious in photos or their behavior.

 

I'm not doing OLD but I registered out of curiousity for a few hours some time ago and what I also noticed was the generally terrible photo quality. Really, don't take photos of your face with a lamp behind your head.

 

Isn't it reasonable to assume that men are thinking women are like Popsicle and want to know what they're getting? Men want to know so why wouldn't women?

 

Why assign motives when you don't know?

 

A lot of men think women want to receive dic pics. Why? Because they would love to get similar photos in return. They expect the women to want what they want.

[Toodaloo]

You know what. My view is that if its on a beach or swimming pool then fine. But a pic taken in a bathroom mirror? Its just "look at me!!!" so yeah - a tad desperate.

 

I didn't put any boob pics on mine purely because I would kinda like to keep my boobs for the guy I sleep with next... I don't really want everyone looking at them...

 

They can stay under wraps until the appropriate moment.

 

I don't really want to see men with topless pics either. With well cut clothes I have enough imagination to know what I am going to be getting.

[Heatherknows]

But a pic taken in a bathroom mirror? Its just "look at me!!!" so yeah - a tad desperate.

 

 

I have about 100 sexy selfies, some taken in a mirror, some with my arm stretched out as far as I can manage. Maybe, I'm desperate?

 

What exactly am I desperate for? To have other people look at my body and tell me I'm attractive? Sexual approval? Validation? Sounds about right.

 

Tomorrow, I'll try taking a selfie of my personality.

Edited August 7, 2015 by Heatherknows

[Timshel]

I have about 100 sexy selfies, some taken in a mirror, some with my arm stretched out as far as I can manage. Maybe I'm desperate...but I'm hot so I'm not bothered.

 

Anyway, what exactly am I desperate for? To have other people look at my body and tell me I'm attractive? Sexual approval? Validation? Sounds about right.

Tomorrow, I'll try taking a selfie of my personality.

 

To each their own. Some people just don't need 'bolded.' They just know.

[LookAtThisPOst]

I have about 100 sexy selfies, some taken in a mirror, some with my arm stretched out as far as I can manage. Maybe, I'm desperate?

 

What exactly am I desperate for? To have other people look at my body and tell me I'm attractive? Sexual approval? Validation? Sounds about right.

 

Tomorrow, I'll try taking a selfie of my personality.

 

Yes, I would say validation. I had uncheck the "following" button on some women on Facebook because they kept posting selfies of themselves every frickin second "on their way" to doing something.

 

"This is me, on the way to the gym!" "This is me on the way to work!" "This is me walking to the bathroom at IHOP!" "This is me on the crapper at the IHOP!", "This is me flushing the toilet at the IHOP!"

 

LOL..I'm just exaggerating on the last few, but it's not hard to make fun of these people.

 

OH, and the duck faces.

 

I mean, if you're going to take a selfie, at least use some context. LOL It just further enhances the person's narcissist behavior.

 

Recently, I've seen this FB arguement happen between this attention wh**ring woman and another woman. She was posting pics of herself in lingerie outfits.

 

She asked, "Is this too risque?" in the caption...of course, it may have been a rhetorical question, but this woman remarked , "So, how does your husband and step-daughter feel about you doing that?"

 

That didn't go over well. LOL

 

But hey, ask for an opinion on FB, you're likely to get some that aren't what you like.

[Timshel]

Isn't it reasonable to assume that men are thinking women are like Popsicle and want to know what they're getting? Men want to know so why wouldn't women?

 

Why assign motives when you don't know?

 

A lot of men think women want to receive dic pics. Why? Because they would love to get similar photos in return. They expect the women to want what they want.

 

Evolution: From Homo Erectus to 'the dic pic.' We've come a long way baby!

[Toodaloo]

I have about 100 sexy selfies, some taken in a mirror, some with my arm stretched out as far as I can manage. Maybe, I'm desperate?

 

What exactly am I desperate for? To have other people look at my body and tell me I'm attractive? Sexual approval? Validation? Sounds about right.

 

Tomorrow, I'll try taking a selfie of my personality.

 

Well I guess I don't need men to tell me I am attractive. I know I am.

 

I also don't need a selfie of my personality. I know who I am, I like who I am - I don't need other people to like me to feel better about myself.

 

If I don't like something about myself I change it to the way I like it - not the way society thinks I should be.

 

I don't need validation, approval etc from other people... Validation and approval from myself as I look in the mirror are far more important to me.

 

Personally I also would not want to date someone who was so low in self esteem that they have to get it from others either. They wouldn't last 5 seconds with someone as confident as I am. I would get very fed up and bored very quickly... So I guess the bathroom selfie allows me to eliminate those people I don't want to date...

 

Perhaps that is why I am known as a man eater rather than a sheep?