missingu Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 My boyfriend has known this girl since he was a teen. After school they lost contact. Fast forward a few years. He bumped into her and they became friends. Hung out together etc. She was always with someone else and then she was single, so they slept together and dated a little bit. In the end she told him she doesn't feel anything for him but friendship and said they are too alike to be together and she doesn't think it would work out but she would like to remain friends. So they are friends. I've met her. My feeling is she's not interested. She doesn't give out any signs that she is interested. He makes all of the effort in the friendship. He will help her with anything and ask to hang out and she sometimes doesn't reply, or when she does she says she's too busy. More or less she only wants to know him when she needs a favour. It makes me sad. I'm with him I love Him I want to be with him and he won't let this girl go. She even has a boyfriend.and has had long before we got together. Am I wrong to get annoyed?? When is he going to wake up and reAlize what she's doing?? I get so frustrated. I almost want him to know what it feels like for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Fleur de cactus Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 What the girl is doing? she is not doing anything wrong. From what you say, she is not interested and it is your boyfriend who continues to chase her. You have to talk to him if you do not like their friendship, if he does not want to listen to you, break up with him and find a man who does not have any emotional attachment to the ex. I don't know why you stay with him anyway when he is lying love to you. Because you cannot love one girl and continue to be attached to the ex. When it happens , it mean he is not happy with you. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 She's not the problem, he is. She's also not just a friend; I don't know what she is. She's not really an EX. An Ex-FWB maybe? Either way since you know they previously had sex & even though she said no thank you he is still panting after her, I'd question his commitment to you. Don't freak out. Don't yell & scream but do point out to him that it's hurtful to you & he appears to be demeaning himself. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 Adults have the ability to be friends and do favors. Declining is an option. I do not see it as him chasing. If they have a bro/ sis style relationship .. Meaning platonic and sincere, then so long as he is okay with it, leave it be. I have guy friends that at various times have asked favors ... Pet sit while they and their mrs go out of town. Never once have has it crossed my mind that tabs were kept. friends simply do say yes or no and no hard feelings come about. Clear boundaries are regarded. Maybe sit and discuss some healthy boundaries to keep your relationship strong. You sound like you sincerely care about him. Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted August 7, 2015 Share Posted August 7, 2015 I can understand how you're worried. She's not interested in a relationship with him , but who can say if she was feeling down or broke up with her BF she wouldn't sleep with your BF. He wouldn't turn her down sure. I personally wouldn't want the ex who dumped my BF around. Can you tell him to cut her loose as you don't feel great about it? If you get a lot of resistance , then she still has a place in his heart. I don't play second best. Link to post Share on other sites
sweeeeetie82 Posted August 8, 2015 Share Posted August 8, 2015 You need to check your man seriously! Sounds to me like he can't get over her! Link to post Share on other sites
shylane Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 I have a couple of exs that are now platonic friends, but since my current guy is uncomfortable with it, I minimize those interactions to a brief "Happy Birthday" message or a holiday "hope all is well". The best way to establish your comfort zone is NOT to tell him that they cannot be friends, but instead, tell him that you would be more comfortable if he limited the phone calls/emails to her, AND it shouldn't be an issue for him to tell you when that contact is made, if he loves you and wants a long, trusting relationship with you. If you are hurt or upset, he should do everything in his power to make sure YOU are his priority and to put your mind at ease. Link to post Share on other sites
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