My mom is having surgery in the next few hours and I'm a mess

[stupidkittten]

She's having surgery to remove a transvaginal bladder sling/mesh that has been giving her problems for years and I'm a natural worrier and this is the first time in my life that I can actively remember her or anyone else in my family getting surgery (besides my brother for a broken arm). Anyone have any words of encouragement or been through something similar or any surgery at all? I'm tempted to google stuff about it, in hopes of finding good things like complication rate being low but I'm too worried I'll find negative stuff.

[carhill]

As long as the surgeon is competent (most have stats available and their rep is known), the procedure will go as do thousands of other successful surgical procedures each day. The main negative is that the mesh was designed to never be removed so things won't be as straightforward as other types of surgery.

 

My experience, mostly as a caregiver who managed surgeries and interfaced with the medical professionals, has been that knowledge is power.

 

Best wishes for a positive outcome.

[TaraMaiden2]

She's having surgery to remove a transvaginal bladder sling/mesh that has been giving her problems for years and I'm a natural worrier and this is the first time in my life that I can actively remember her or anyone else in my family getting surgery (besides my brother for a broken arm). Anyone have any words of encouragement or been through something similar or any surgery at all? I'm tempted to google stuff about it, in hopes of finding good things like complication rate being low but I'm too worried I'll find negative stuff.

 

Don't Google it.

 

Honestly, please don't.

You'll just create more stress for yourself.

 

Just inform the surgeon that if any of it is left behind, you will sue his ass to the floor for medical incompetence.

 

Sit, breathe, meditate, be calm and supportive.

Drop your shoulders and focus on how much better she will feel when all this is over.

Your Mom needs that right now.

 

I'm rooting for you both.

[regine_phalange]

My mum had something similar at age 60.

She combined it with prolapse surgery.

The prolapse hurt afterwards (just like every surgery) but the bladder was much less of a problem, she didn't complain about it at all! And 6 years later she's doing just great. No worries

[carhill]

Heh, as a surgeon of a different type, but one where people's lives often hang, literally, in the balance, I don't do my best work under threat of lawsuit

 

However, good point about not Goggling the general terms, because, well, lawsuits have been chasing the mesh for quite awhile now and the top search results will predominantly be negative. A better source for information is the medical professionals themselves, or articles on the surgery itself from recognized medical authorities. IME, once one has established themselves as being a partner in success, rather than an adversary, medical professionals are quite open about the risks and rewards.

 

In any event, it's a bit late for that as the surgery is at hand, so hopefully everything will go well and the focus can shift to any appropriate caregiving after the surgery and during recovery.

[TaraMaiden2]

Heh, as a surgeon of a different type, but one where people's lives often hang, literally, in the balance, I don't do my best work under threat of lawsuit

 

Hmmmm, heh heh, yes....Good point.... But I think anyone in a position of feeling helpless, needs to seek reassurance form the surgeon of their dedication, care and determination to make a damn good job of it....

 

I remember when my mom went into Hospital to have her hysterectomy, I spoke to the surgeon about our concerns and told him, I really hoped he would do his best.

He saw through the entreaty and recognised the care and stress. he said - and did - all the right things....

 

However, good point about not Goggling the general terms, because, well, lawsuits have been chasing the mesh for quite awhile now and the top search results will predominantly be negative.

Indeed....

 

A better source for information is the medical professionals themselves, or articles on the surgery itself from recognized medical authorities. IME, once one has established themselves as being a partner in success, rather than an adversary, medical professionals are quite open about the risks and rewards.

Yes, but sometimes such articles are difficult to locate, and you often have to plough through the aforementioned others first....

 

In any event, it's a bit late for that as the surgery is at hand, so hopefully everything will go well and the focus can shift to any appropriate caregiving after the surgery and during recovery.

OP, the very best you can do, is as I suggested: Stay calm, breathe and be a support to your mom.

Right now, she needs someone who can be in her corner demonstrating a shedload of positive attitude....