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UPDATE: Husband take pics and videos of other women


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So now he sees you've had enough, he can actually go out there and work? What a coincidence. Just when he told you never to ask him about work ever again, then saying you were probably with the wrong partner because you wanted to plan and discuss finances with him.

 

Continue with your plans to divorce, as he'll only drag you down with him.

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Ruby Slippers

It definitely sounds as though you're doing the right thing. I'd make sure to get a good lawyer to protect as much of your assets as possible.

 

This is not the first relationship that I have been in where I have been taken advantage of

I think this is the most noteworthy statement in the thread. This is your pattern.

 

Why do you repeatedly choose men who take advantage of you? I imagine it's a self-esteem problem - that is, you think you don't deserve to be with a man who gives to you rather than takes.

 

A good man is happy to give to his woman. No good man leeches off his woman. (In fact, no good person leeches off anybody.)

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I have started looking for a good lawyer. I am being very cautious with things I say to my husband and I have been very distant with him. He knows something is going on. He went on a job interview yesterday for a teaching position and I wasn't even interested in hearing about it. Half the night I slept on the couch because I could not bear to lie next to him in bed. I feel so angry and it surprises me how my feelings towards him have changed. I am so incredibly detached. I don't even want to touch him. When I leave the house to go to work or anywhere else, I feel relief because I am not around him. But I want to avoid drama and conflict at all cost. I want it to go smoothly without having to go into a lengthy discussion with him regarding why I want a divorce, etc. How do I approach the subject? My thought was to speak to a lawyer first and get his/her advice so I do not do anything that may hurt me later. How should I tell my husband I no longer want to share my life with him? I want out?

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Ruby Slippers

Before you clue him in to anything, I'd talk to a lawyer and get a good idea of how the assets are going to shake out. Other people on this forum know much more about division of assets in divorce than I do, but I've read enough here to know that it's always a big issue. If he's been unemployed or partially employed for much of your marriage, I'm wondering if it's possible he could ask you to pay him some kind of support money? Hopefully not, since your marriage has been so short and you don't have kids together. But if it were me, I'd find out about this before I give him any more clues that you're about to end the marriage. You don't want him draining all the money out of your accounts or anything crazy like that.

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ShatteredLady

He's a teacher!! Has he ever taken his 'hobby' to work with him? The thought of my daughter being in the same room as him is frightening. I'm not being dramatic. Really? Can any parents here say that they would be comfortable having this man around their daughters? GET OUT!! This is a news worthy law suit waiting to happen & you KNOW about his 'hobby'.

 

I know how incredibley painful it is to slowly realize that the person you love is more a figment of your imagination than a real man. Escape this! You're young. You have a great career that you've worked hard for. You have your family & friends. Build a wonderful, beautiful life. You made a mistake. It's bloody hard but chalk it up to experience & move on.

 

I truly wish you the best. My biggest fear is you loosing so much if his 'hobby' becomes public.

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I have started looking for a good lawyer. I am being very cautious with things I say to my husband and I have been very distant with him. He knows something is going on. He went on a job interview yesterday for a teaching position and I wasn't even interested in hearing about it. Half the night I slept on the couch because I could not bear to lie next to him in bed. I feel so angry and it surprises me how my feelings towards him have changed. I am so incredibly detached. I don't even want to touch him. When I leave the house to go to work or anywhere else, I feel relief because I am not around him. But I want to avoid drama and conflict at all cost. I want it to go smoothly without having to go into a lengthy discussion with him regarding why I want a divorce, etc. How do I approach the subject? My thought was to speak to a lawyer first and get his/her advice so I do not do anything that may hurt me later. How should I tell my husband I no longer want to share my life with him? I want out?

 

Best way is by being honest.

 

Something like:

 

This marriage isn't working for me anymore - I'm ending it and need you to move out within an hour.

 

Don't leave room for him to argue with you and don't give him time to redirect his anger toward you.

 

After he's moved - I'd change the locks.

 

Make sure you've moved all money to your name only - otherwise he will access it as soon as you're not with him. Do this ahead of telling him!!

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Lois_Griffin
I have started looking for a good lawyer. I am being very cautious with things I say to my husband and I have been very distant with him. He knows something is going on. He went on a job interview yesterday for a teaching position and I wasn't even interested in hearing about it. Half the night I slept on the couch because I could not bear to lie next to him in bed. I feel so angry and it surprises me how my feelings towards him have changed. I am so incredibly detached. I don't even want to touch him. When I leave the house to go to work or anywhere else, I feel relief because I am not around him. But I want to avoid drama and conflict at all cost. I want it to go smoothly without having to go into a lengthy discussion with him regarding why I want a divorce, etc. How do I approach the subject? My thought was to speak to a lawyer first and get his/her advice so I do not do anything that may hurt me later. How should I tell my husband I no longer want to share my life with him? I want out?

Visiting a lawyer first is ALWAYS a good decision. Knowledge is power.

 

I think your husband's biggest problem will be losing his 'mommy' and his meal ticket. He'll actually have to grow the hell up and be a productive, self sustaining human being and have to support himself and wipe his own ass. Imagine that. That'll be a new thing for him.

 

This guy being a teacher - and knowing what a creep he is - is utterly frightening. You're smart to be kicking him to the curb before he does something REALLY stupid and ends up on the wrong side of the law. This guy is just one BIG liability waiting to happen.

 

Just tell him you no longer want to be married to him and want to go your separate ways. Even though he's a parasite and a pervert, if you don't want to cite those reasons, jut tell him you've grown in different directions and you want out. And it's NOT negotiable. The end.

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