Mailman Posted August 8, 2015 Share Posted August 8, 2015 Okay, I'll set this up. My wife and I are good friends with another couple. A good friend of hers from years back and I've gotten close with her boyfriend as well. Here's the thing, they are going through major problems right now. She found out he had another woman in the mix behind her back and in my honest opinion she isn't really seeing the forest through the trees because he hasn't given her much of a vote of confidence since getting caught. He's very uninterested in sex and despite having a child together he doesn't seem too enthused about their relationship. She is obviously insecure about it and she's told me that, but mostly tells my wife about it. It is actually driving her nuts not knowing things. I really think they should end it, but whatever. So our kids are friends and one day she called to ask if we wanted to meet them at the park. My wife was working and so was her boyfriend, she didn't know this but I said we'll meet them anyway. It was a somewhat hot day, but she was wearing a very low cut summer dress that really showed some cleavage standing up but especially bent over. It was a sexy summer dress and I've never seen her dressed like that before. Her boobs were noticeably exposed. Alright, so nothing happened of course. She talked about how they were doing and it isn't good. She definitely feels unloved and unattractive by the sounds of it, and I can't blame her. That's all that happened, obviously she never made a move and neither did I, or would I. We're all good friends, maybe she never even thought about things. But here is the thing. She knew I was coming without my wife. She could pick any type of dress/shirt to wear and she picked one that showed a lot of cleavage. She never made a pass or anything, but my question for the girls is, have you ever been in that type of situation where you just want to feel sexy again and want someone to notice you? I noticed her alright, and I didn't make it obvious, but she certainly had to have known her boobs were showing at times and didn't care. Do girls who have confidence problems like to do this? Even if it is subtly in front of a friend? If a girl is not feeling sexy around her boyfriend does she still want to know that she "still has it" if someone else checks her out? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 8, 2015 Share Posted August 8, 2015 Sex is an easy attention getter. Any female past the age of puberty knows this, and some do even before I don't see it as any particular personality deficit, rather path of least resistance to personal satisfaction. Think of it as invigorating her self-image. It has nothing to do with you, though perhaps it's a bit flattering that she feels you are safe enough to fish your attention pond. I've been in similar situations many times, some with even more overt sexual content. I just smile, ignore the cleavage, nipple action or breast rubs and carry on. People do what they do and I'll do my part as a friend, up to a point. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted August 8, 2015 Share Posted August 8, 2015 Every woman wants to feel appreciated for her sex appeal. It's best if the appreciation comes from the man in her life. Second best would getting it from another man in her life who she has some respect for. Third best would be from a stranger. I would assume that she was hoping to get some kind of confirmation that she's attractive. I wouldn't automatically assume that she was hoping for some time in bed with you. Just wearing a dress like that isn't enough of a signal for that anyway. At least she thinks enough of you to value your opinion. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted August 8, 2015 Share Posted August 8, 2015 My guess is she is trying to up her sex appeal in light of what has happened and I guess those in the park were her target audience, not you. She may have also been meeting him after work or wanted to show him the new her when he came home, hence her dress. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 My guess is she is trying to up her sex appeal in light of what has happened and I guess those in the park were her target audience, not you. She may have also been meeting him after work or wanted to show him the new her when he came home, hence her dress. I lean this way. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 What makes you assume she 'picked out' that dress for the park? Maybe it's what she put on that morning and was already wearing it when she decided to go to the park. Maybe wearing it - in general - gives her back some of her confidence. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 I lulz at the innocence of it all 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 You shouldn't have met her at the park without your wife. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 You shouldn't have met her at the park without your wife. I agree with this. I myself being married would never "meetup" with my friends husband (especially when they are going through marital problems) to just hang out and talk at a park. Dude this was so inappropriate and disrespectful to your wife even if it was innocent. Boundaries are necessary here! Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 What makes you assume she 'picked out' that dress for the park? Maybe it's what she put on that morning and was already wearing it when she decided to go to the park. Maybe wearing it - in general - gives her back some of her confidence. Or maybe she wanted it to get back to husband that she was dressed like that, and meeting someone's husband at a park. She is playing a very dangerous game. Whatever the case maybe, IMO you and your wife need to not be involved with this couple's issues and distance yourselves socially. Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 We tend to know what our boobs are doing, so I doubt it was an accident or a coincidence. Better question is why did she show you her boobs? Could be what smackie said. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveRefreshed Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 (edited) I honestly don't think that was inappropriate to meet her. I'd meet any one of my friends wives without their husbands being around if they asked. Though, I'm one of the few that believe in opposite sex platonic relationships. Could be because I had an older and younger sister.. dunno. Motives, actions and secrecy make it inappropriate. If you openly told your wife before/after (better before) that you're going to go meet her, then what's the big deal? Just because I have a penis and you have a vagina doesn't mean our clothes will spontaneously fall off and my dick will end up someplace it shouldn't. Edited August 9, 2015 by LoveRefreshed Wished auto correct was smart and used the right forms of worrds (medt became meat, not meet) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mailman Posted August 9, 2015 Author Share Posted August 9, 2015 You shouldn't have met her at the park without your wife. There was no secret. I mean, it isn't as if my wife didn't know we were there. Our kids love to play with each other and see each other too. It was sort of a play date if anything. I was actually expecting her boyfriend (my friend) to come but he was working. They are our good friends, and I know "famous last words and such" but there has never been any insinuation by any of us to "swing" let's just say. I honestly don't think that was inappropriate to meet her. I'd meet any one of my friends wives with their husbands being around if they asked. Though, I'm one of the few that believe in opposite sex platonic relationships. Could be because I had an older and younger sister.. dunno. Motives, actions and secrecy make it inappropriate. If you openly told your wife before/after (better before) that you're going to go meet her, then what's the big deal? Just because I have a penis and you have a vagina doesn't mean our clothes will spontaneously fall off and my dick will end up someplace it shouldn't. Yeah, of course my wife found out. It was a scorcher of a day, so maybe I am looking into this too much. I mean, it was a summer dress. She was hot (no, I mean temperature wise) and I can understand that. It just was one of those very loose V-neck dresses that expose some breasts (obviously she had a bra on) when you bend over. Or maybe she wanted it to get back to husband that she was dressed like that, and meeting someone's husband at a park. She is playing a very dangerous game. Whatever the case maybe, IMO you and your wife need to not be involved with this couple's issues and distance yourselves socially. I honestly don't know. She will post some very obvious things on her Facebook page. Just on her news feed that is. Stuff such as how important it is NOT to let a good girl go. Stuff like that. You read it, and you know very well she is hoping/wanting her boyfriend to see this stuff as well as making a strong point. I think she is a very neglected woman right now who is desperate for some satisfaction of knowing a man can actually still leer at her. The park was busy that day and I am sure it probably had nothing to do with me but just to be out in public dressed a little sexier than normal and hoping for a reaction. She'd never make a move on me or anything. Nor would I. But she might have wanted some attention or a sign that she is still sexy. Link to post Share on other sites
bubbaganoosh Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 If I were you, I would chalk it up to the day and nothing more than that. Now if it happens again, I would bow out in a polite manner and not do it again. Like you said it was a hot day. I've seen women in low cut shirts and dresses before and they were wearing a bra. Now if she wasn't wearing one then I might have a different opinion. Either way I would forget about it. No harm, no foul Link to post Share on other sites
LoveRefreshed Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 I assume everything means nothing until something happens that is undoubtful... vocalizing attraction/feelings, attempts for physical contact (out of the norms. My friends wifes can be huggers. Those potheads), etc... Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 She needs some womanly advice on how a woman shouldn't measure her self worth because she has a man in her life or the attention she gets from men. Sadly she is looking for the wrong kind of attention. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Clockwork Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 I'm not sure if it was intentional. It was hot you said right? She wears a summer dress and probably is more concerned about staying cool than anything. If she bent over and knows you may have been looking then it is just a bonus I guess for her if she is in this situation. If she didn't hit on you then no harm no foul. If you gave her a bit of confidence, then maybe that isn't a bad thing. She might need it. Link to post Share on other sites
nadine5 Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 Unless she was touching you or saying inappropriate things, she may have just needed some confirmation that she looked good by wearing something low-cut and even having you just LOOK at her. This doesn't necessarily mean she wants to have sex with you. Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 "s-she was i-in a summer dress. Her bewbs were so...exposed. I swear" Calm down, Rambo. Is it possible she was making a move? Sure. Is it likely? No. She was probably just trying to be comfortable in this god dammed humidity. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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