Amwoo89 Posted August 8, 2015 Share Posted August 8, 2015 As the title puts it, I'm confused.. A friend of mine and her boyfriend put me in contact with his friend/co worker.. We instantly hit it off and have been talking via Facebook and text everyday all day ever since.. They live 3100 miles away and I will be visiting them for almost 2 weeks next month.. He told me not to get attached due to him currently being in the military, he has no idea where he will be in 3 months let alone a couple of years.. He could be in the same state as me or in Europe.. I can understand and respect that but he goes and does this... He wants me to stay with him as much as possible instead of staying with my friend, he's rented a hotel room for $200 a night, he's made reservations at a restaurant and for wine tasting, he's planned trips around the state to visit various landmarks, he's taken time off work.. He's honestly the sweetest most caring guy! All of my friends said it sounds like he wants more he's just afraid of long distance.. Opinions, advice, anything?? I really like this guy and I would be willing to do long distance.. Link to post Share on other sites
TMichaels Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 Sounds like a booty call to me. Best, TMichaels 4 Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 Hi Amwoo89, Welcome to LS. You know what you want, and it's not what he wants. He told me not to get attached due to him currently being in the military [...] He wants me to stay with him as much as possible instead of staying with my friend, he's rented a hotel room for $200 a night, he's made reservations at a restaurant and for wine tasting, he's planned trips around the state to visit various landmarks, he's taken time off work.. If I were you, I would only be up for what I want. I'd decline his offers, but the one about taking time off work, so maybe he can spend half a day with you, or something like that, as friends, to talk and walk around. For the rest, I'd be very clear with him: Sorry, but I'd never let any man pay for my hotel room, unless it's for work and he's my boss, or if it's out of love and he's my bf/husband. You know, I'm kinda oldfashioned. Maybe you were just looking for some fun, but really I'm not interested, because I tend to get attached. So I'll just be with my friend, or if you really want to see me as a friend, we can meet some time. In short, you friendzone him. If he really cares, he won't like that. If you're just like anyone else and easily replaceable, he will fade away. All of my friends said it sounds like he wants more he's just afraid of long distance.. Maybe. But he needs to figure that out, not you. If you're worth it to him and how much, that's for him to establish. Also, remember that keeping you at a distance can be a way to make himself available for anyone else. And it's not a good start for anything. I understand not having one's hopes too high before even meeting... but here you have a man making things clear from the start though setting you up for romantic encounters, and it wouldn't work for me. If you're not that desperate, let him subtly understand that you can have any man, and he can start looking elsewhere. Opinions, advice, anything?? I really like this guy and I would be willing to do long distance.. Let him want it first. You need to meet him under different conditions to begin with, if you want to be respected and not end up being used. Maybe he just put his foot in his mouth, men can do that... or he just tried to make it clear that at present he can't make a woman happy the way she'd deserve and wouldn't be able to have a relationship with a demanding girl (aka any girl), who knows. I'd give him the benefit of the doubt. Whatever it is, I'd be sweet and gently decline his offers. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Qboro90 Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 I think the only thing you need to do here is tell him that you appreciate the offer of staying with him but he's got to wine and dine you first a few times before you're going to share a hotel room with him. You can say it with a "haha" type tone so that would make him feel/realize that "whoa... Yea sorry I didn't mean it like that, just was trying to be nice and accommodating". Just say you're looking forward to seeing him and meeting finally. If there are things you're planning to do with your friends you can use them as an excuse as well for not staying with him. Or just sarcastically ask him "do you get hotel rooms for all your first dates?" Or "what kind of girl would I be if I jumped right into bed with you? I'm a classy girl you should've noticed that by now :)" Word it however fits your personality. If he's pushy about it though then I think you'll realize he's just interested in a booty call or friends with benefits situation. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
madjac74 Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 He wants me to stay with him as much as possible instead of staying with my friend, he's rented a hotel room for $200 a night, . Here is my flag...Did he tell you the price of the room? He bragged about the price of the room (which is pretty standard). He just put your worth at $200 per night 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Perrier Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 They live 3100 miles away and I will be visiting them for almost 2 weeks next month.. He told me not to get attached due to him currently being in the military, He wants me to stay with him as much as possible instead of staying with my friend, he's rented a hotel room for $200 a night, he's made reservations at a restaurant and for wine tasting, he's planned trips around the state to visit various landmarks, he's taken time off work.. All of my friends said it sounds like he wants more he's just afraid of long distance.. . The only thing sounding reasonable is his taking time off work, if he really did that just for you. Otherwise I don't believe he's afraid of long distance - I think he wants a hot fling, with bells and whistles attached (to attract you). Next gal coming along he will do the same thing with. He's already made it clear you shouldn't get attached. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Zagan Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 Why a hotel room, if it's the same city he lives? That screams booty call. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 He doesn't want a relationship. He just wants sex. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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