loveforever101 Posted August 9, 2015 Posted August 9, 2015 So I'm sure we've all had this happen at some point or another, where someone dumps you and then after some time has passed they utter those dumb words of I miss you. This just happened to me last night and I just couldn't help myself from getting upset for some reason. She was the one to dump me in the first place and it just rubs me the wrong way almost. Does anyone else tend to feel this way about this??
quattrob Posted August 9, 2015 Posted August 9, 2015 It does give me the immediate false hope feeling and then confusion.. but then within 5 mins logic kicks in and realizes that she's/they are just being selfish and there's no meaning to those kinds of messages. The fact remains the same, they dont want to be together with us so no point wasting our time and energy on this. 2
Clarence_Boddicker Posted August 9, 2015 Posted August 9, 2015 Yup, it's a cruel heartless lie, like the ILYIJNILWY lie. They say it for many reasons, none good for you. Why not go NC to avoid that crap? 1
Author loveforever101 Posted August 9, 2015 Author Posted August 9, 2015 I have been in no contact for three weeks. She's texted me a fair amount of times and I've just been ignoring her. It is incredibly frustrating though. It is incredibly selfish to say that after SHE broke my heart. If she really does miss me maybe she should focus on her new boyfriend...
Gus Grimly Posted August 9, 2015 Posted August 9, 2015 She was the one to dump me in the first place and it just rubs me the wrong way almost. Does anyone else tend to feel this way about this?? My Ex fiance dumped me. 3 weeks later I broke NC. During that call she said she missed me, it was good to hear my voice and that she loved me. Meanwhile, she's got a new Boyfriend. I don't know why she would say that if only to add insult to injury.
Author loveforever101 Posted August 9, 2015 Author Posted August 9, 2015 My Ex fiance dumped me. 3 weeks later I broke NC. During that call she said she missed me, it was good to hear my voice and that she loved me. Meanwhile, she's got a new Boyfriend. I don't know why she would say that if only to add insult to injury. Sounds like something my ex would do... oh wait she has. 1
foolinlove79 Posted August 9, 2015 Posted August 9, 2015 My ex did the same thing. I didnt take the bait this time and so he jumped on a dating site, met someone else and i havent heard from him since. I now take miss you to mean i miss having someone and anyone will do....not that they miss you in particular. Just miss having someone... 2
Gus Grimly Posted August 9, 2015 Posted August 9, 2015 Sounds like something my ex would do... oh wait she has. It's hurtful and we deserve better. I know these women 'love' us to a certain extent, I just think they have agendas that need to be fulfilled. I gave my girlfriend second, third and fourth chances on some pretty heavy relationship issues. Each of which any guy in his right mind would flee from immediately. But I stuck in there because I "loved" this woman. But of course when it's my time to ask for a second chance she was unwilling to even consider it. Lesson learned. I now take miss you to mean i miss having someone and anyone will do....not that they miss you in particular. Just miss having someone... I agree, this is definitely how I see my Ex's comment vs her actions. I miss you means, I miss having 'anyone' to talk to, sleep with, do things with etc. 2
Author loveforever101 Posted August 9, 2015 Author Posted August 9, 2015 It's hurtful and we deserve better. I know these women 'love' us to a certain extent, I just think they have agendas that need to be fulfilled. I gave my girlfriend second, third and fourth chances on some pretty heavy relationship issues. Each of which any guy in his right mind would flee from immediately. But I stuck in there because I "loved" this woman. But of course when it's my time to ask for a second chance she was unwilling to even consider it. Lesson learned. I agree, this is definitely how I see my Ex's comment vs her actions. I miss you means, I miss having 'anyone' to talk to, sleep with, do things with etc. I agree with this but my ex has a new boyfriend she shouldn't feel the need to contact me. Either he's not doing his job or she's just feeding me crumbs or whatever.
aloneinaz Posted August 9, 2015 Posted August 9, 2015 When they send this BS, they are looking for attention to sooth their egos. They want to know that they still have power over you. It makes their self esteem feel good as well. This is why NC is such a powerful tool. If you go hardcore, you can block ever seeing this crap from them in the first place. I know some folks even change their phone numbers to prevent these types of texts. Either way, those words of "I miss you" are simply BS.. They wouldn't text that looking for a reaction if they wanted you back. They'd be direct and call or text "Can we get together to talk". 1
Gus Grimly Posted August 9, 2015 Posted August 9, 2015 I agree with this but my ex has a new boyfriend she shouldn't feel the need to contact me. Either he's not doing his job or she's just feeding me crumbs or whatever. Oh yeah, she's getting a big ego boost off of it. She knows you are hurting inside and the breadcrumbs that she's feeding you also feed her ego. The only way to stop it is to block, block, block. Vanish from her life completely.
jam67 Posted August 9, 2015 Posted August 9, 2015 I have been in no contact for three weeks. She's texted me a fair amount of times and I've just been ignoring her. It is incredibly frustrating though. It is incredibly selfish to say that after SHE broke my heart. If she really does miss me maybe she should focus on her new boyfriend... Same exact thing happened to me. I've been NC for about 2 months or so. She started texting me a fair amount, I ignored, then found out she had a new bf. And blocked her everywhere but on my phone assuming I wouldn't hear from her with her new bf. And last weekend I got a super long text about how she missed me, loved me, etc. it was a real mind ****. But I didn't respond. Still ****ing with my head a bit, but I know it's right for me to just walk away from it. Stay strong brother 5
RoseHeart Posted August 9, 2015 Posted August 9, 2015 When I've been the dumper I've definitely also been through phases of missing a ex. Of course I wasn't ever cruel enough to actually tell a ex who I dumped that I miss them but I do know it is possible but mostly it comes from a complete selfish place. If a ex tells you that just know that they are very selfish and that you shouldn't feel bad for not responding because if they missed you THAT much they would be trying to win you back in more ways than just a "I miss you". 3
Pharcyde Posted August 9, 2015 Posted August 9, 2015 Got this in the last week , along with an apology, after a 2 months of zero contact and 8 months after very limited contact since the breakup. It definitely hurts and is confusing. Which is why I'm giving mine an ultimatum to make her intentions clear. Imo if they can't be mature enough to respect/acknowledge your feelings(because deep down they know how you feel) and be honest with you, there no point to it. No matter how much you want them back.
na49 Posted August 9, 2015 Posted August 9, 2015 I've learned that when an ex says they "miss you", it's never in the way you want it to be. We want it to mean that they are spending nights lying awake thinking about us. When in reality, we probably just crossed their mind, they remember we're gone, they think of us, they "miss us", and then they go have sex with their new boyfriend/girlfriend.
lolablue17 Posted August 9, 2015 Posted August 9, 2015 Why don't you forward those texts to her new Bf? 1
Author loveforever101 Posted August 9, 2015 Author Posted August 9, 2015 Why don't you forward those texts to her new Bf? Lol I've thought about that but I guess I'm trying to be respectable about it. I don't see it lasting long between those two anyways.
crederer Posted August 10, 2015 Posted August 10, 2015 Yah I've had this happen. Ran into her at a bar and she proceeded to tell me that "I never loved anyone since you". I believe she meant it but so what? She broke up with me and I never did anything but treat her well. She's doing it to make herself feel better. It has nothing to do with you.
RocketQueen Posted August 10, 2015 Posted August 10, 2015 It's the most annoying thing ever, I feel like he has no right to feel anything other than relief that he is free from the beast that is (apparently) me! And given the fact there was no warning. One day, I'm leaving, next day he's speeding 300 miles down the motorway. At first I hung on to every word he said thinking there MUST be some truth to it- why say it otherwise? I stopped thinking there was any logic or reason to it and now know he has a habit of opening his mouth and the same old noises that form words come out. Think of it as hot air, if anything he says has you questioning why then you know to disregard it because if he means it, you'd know and wouldn't question it because he'd make it clear. Stay strong xxx
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