Tinche75 Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 Boyfriend and I live together. He is divorced and they have 1 child together. The problem is that his ex wife controls his parenting time and he just goes with it because he doesn't want to cause any kind of conflict. She is bipolar and very easily switches from one personality to other that's why he doesn't want to cause any arguments even if that means he doesn't get to see his child. He calls it " taking the high road " I totally disagree with this and at the same time feel as that isn't really anything I should butt into. I have a hard time with it though because obviously it affects him and his child not spending enough time together. He always puts his exe's needs and wants before anyone else's even if it means it will ruin plans we have made. He doesn't understand why I am at the point of ending this realationship and am ready to move on. Any advice on this? Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 I totally disagree with this and at the same time feel as that isn't really anything I should butt into. I have a hard time with it though because obviously it affects him and his child not spending enough time together. He always puts his exe's needs and wants before anyone else's even if it means it will ruin plans we have made. He doesn't understand why I am at the point of ending this realationship and am ready to move on. Any advice on this? I'm confused. If he doesn't spend much time with his son, how does that minimal time conflict with your plans ??? In general, think you're treading on dangerous ground. Their relationship and his parenting not your business... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tinche75 Posted August 9, 2015 Author Share Posted August 9, 2015 He gets her Sunday- Tuesday and his ex wife schedules activities for her on those days...like dance golf tennis...so all he does is basically drives her around. And your right, I think the same that their parenting and relations isn't my business. What bothers me is that we make plans like camping or something and she then says I already made other plans for the kid on his time, then we cancel what ever we have planned and do what his ex wife has planned Link to post Share on other sites
minimariah Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 ...then we cancel what ever we have planned and do what his ex wife has planned you don't have a problem with his ex - you have a problem with HIM. it's on HIM to tell her to back off and that he'll plan his kid's activities on HIS time. so until HE does something...? nothing you can do about it. the ex is just used to think of everything and plan everything. & seeing how your man goes with it...? she probably thinks it's the best approach. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tinche75 Posted August 9, 2015 Author Share Posted August 9, 2015 Thanks for your reply- That's exactly what I told him, and he basically says he's not going to change. So I told him, then I'll be moving out and on with my life because I can't be with someone like this. That just happened like an hour ago, so now I'm looking for a place to live... Thanks for your input though. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 Thanks for your reply- That's exactly what I told him, and he basically says he's not going to change. So I told him, then I'll be moving out and on with my life because I can't be with someone like this. That just happened like an hour ago, so now I'm looking for a place to live... Thanks for your input though. I think you've made the right choice. Your (now)ex lacks balls. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ms. Faust Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 (edited) Activities are voluntary. Visitation is mandatory. He can easily tell the wife to reschedule the activities or he's not taking her to her practices. That's all there is to it. Whether he has the nerve to stand up to the ex is on him. Poor kid sounds way over scheduled, anyway. Edited August 10, 2015 by Ms. Faust 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tinche75 Posted August 12, 2015 Author Share Posted August 12, 2015 So, on Sunday night he actually did say no to the ex and told her enough is enough. That he won't take her to all the extra activities on his days. The ex has been nothing but throwing a fit like a little kid since then. I think that's how she's used to get her way. And yes, I also think the kid is way over scheduled. That however is not anything I can say something to because she's not my child, that's just my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
spanz1 Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 dating a single parent is always a risk. you did not mention how you like the kid, and how the kid likes you. If you really like the kid, it might be worth it to stay and try to help your BF over his balllessness. But if the kid is nothing great as far as you are concerned, you have 3 strikes here, a whacko ex, a ballless guy, and a snarky kid. ugh Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted August 13, 2015 Share Posted August 13, 2015 He gets her Sunday- Tuesday and his ex wife schedules activities for her on those days...like dance golf tennis...so all he does is basically drives her around. And your right, I think the same that their parenting and relations isn't my business. What bothers me is that we make plans like camping or something and she then says I already made other plans for the kid on his time, then we cancel what ever we have planned and do what his ex wife has planned My first rule of dating has always been to avoid men with dependent children and crazy ex's. Seems you hit the jackpot here and got both. And it's never, ever going to change. Link to post Share on other sites
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