Connor66 Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 Me and my girlfriend have been together for a while now, I'm 22 and she is 20. She is so beautiful, kind, and caring. I started getting overprotective over her, controlling her, reading her messages, watching her Facebook account, etc. She has male friends which I get really jealous about, sometimes I think she is cheating on me so I get angry at her. A few nights ago, she came back around midnight because she had a night out with her friends, she knows her place, she knows what time I expect her to be in at. I heard her trying to sneak in without me noticing, because she knows I will get mad at her, possibly hit her, I went downstairs, lost my temper at her, pushed her to the floor, pulled her hair, kicked her in the legs and stomach, punched her, gave her a nose bleed, called her hurtful names, and shouted in her face. She was in tears, I feel ashamed with what I've done to her. After this, she has been scared of me, whenever I raise my hands or touch her she flinches. I've slapped her, and punched her a few times before. She always accepts my apologies, but I never change. She NEVER did anything to me, I feel ashamed as a man that I've done to a women. She has been crying a lot recently because she is scared of me I think. Since what happened she also tries to cover up what I did to her body... Is this really bad what I've done to her?? What should I do? Should I let her go and make her happy, but I love her and I think she still loves me. :( Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 You should 'let her go' and hope against hope that someone like me never comes for you. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Connor66 Posted August 9, 2015 Author Share Posted August 9, 2015 It's my temper though... I don't do it on purpose. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 Let her go and please, please, please date someone like me. Smack down!!!:mad::mad: 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mrldii Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 Turn yourself in. Insist on serving jail time. Insist on paying the fine. Insist on paying victim restitution to your girlfriend. Insist on enrolling in extensive anger management classes. Get the hell out - and stay out - of this and any other girl's/woman's life until you do do all those things. All that would be a good start, anyway. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Connor66 Posted August 9, 2015 Author Share Posted August 9, 2015 Turn yourself in. Insist on serving jail time. Insist on paying the fine. Insist on paying victim restitution to your girlfriend. Insist on enrolling in extensive anger management classes. Get the hell out - and stay out - of this and any other girl's/woman's life until you do do all those things. All that would be a good start, anyway. It's harder than it looks, I still love her. Do you think if I took anger management lessons she may forgve me and stay with me? I did hurt her and make her cry. I know it's not right that a man hits a women like this Link to post Share on other sites
mrldii Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 It's harder than it looks, I still love her. Do you think if I took anger management lessons she may forgve me and stay with me? I did hurt her and make her cry. I know it's not right that a man hits a women like this No, it's not. No, you don't. "Love" doesn't bash someone in the face; "love" doesn't pull someone's hair [out of anger]; "love" doesn't pound someone's head into the ground. You asked what you should do; I answered. You wanna negotiate? Tell it to the judge...maybe she'll be willing to negotiate with you. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 It's harder than it looks, *I still love her. Do you think if I took anger management lessons she may forgve me and stay with me? I did hurt her and make her cry. I know it's not right that a man hits a women like this No. You don't love her. You're attached to her, and think you own her, but you don't love her. You are an abuser and a criminal. Mrldii told you what to do. Do it. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
lollipopspot Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 Do you think if I took anger management lessons she may forgve me and stay with me? I did hurt her and make her cry. I know it's not right that a man hits a women like this I think she'll likely stay with you for awhile whether you get treatment or not. She's cowed down and has no self esteem. Or she may be too scared to leave. Did you see this kind of behavior when you were growing up? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Connor66 Posted August 9, 2015 Author Share Posted August 9, 2015 No. You don't love her. You're attached to her, and think you own her, but you don't love her. You are an abuser and a criminal. Mrldii told you what to do. Do it. All I did was loose my temper at her, it's not like I did it on purpose. People are so quick to judge. Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 "Effects of domestic violence on women Abused women often experience conflicting emotions such as fear, anger, shame, resentment, sadness and powerlessness. An abused woman lives in fear, unable to predict when the next attack will come. She may become isolated from friends and family, and increasingly dependent on her abuser. In these circumstances it can be very hard to make sense of what is really happening. Over time her self-esteem may be worn down. She may start to believe her abuser’s insults. She may blame herself for the abuse, or deny that it is taking place. She may ignore it, hoping that her partner -the man she loves – will change. There are parallels between the impact of torture and imprisonment on hostages and the impact of domestic violence Abused women can develop post-traumatic stress which includes a range of symptoms: agitation and anxiety, depression, panic attacks, trouble sleeping or relaxing, numbness, sense of isolation, nightmares." Source here. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Connor66 Posted August 9, 2015 Author Share Posted August 9, 2015 "Effects of domestic violence on women Abused women often experience conflicting emotions such as fear, anger, shame, resentment, sadness and powerlessness. An abused woman lives in fear, unable to predict when the next attack will come. She may become isolated from friends and family, and increasingly dependent on her abuser. In these circumstances it can be very hard to make sense of what is really happening. Over time her self-esteem may be worn down. She may start to believe her abuser’s insults. She may blame herself for the abuse, or deny that it is taking place. She may ignore it, hoping that her partner -the man she loves – will change. There are parallels between the impact of torture and imprisonment on hostages and the impact of domestic violence Abused women can develop post-traumatic stress which includes a range of symptoms: agitation and anxiety, depression, panic attacks, trouble sleeping or relaxing, numbness, sense of isolation, nightmares." Source here. Oh my, I didn't know she maybe feeling like that. Link to post Share on other sites
lollipopspot Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 Why don't you call a crisis hotline and ask for referrals for anger management and/or counselors who deal with domestic violence? You really need to get control over this fast. I also think you shouldn't have close relationships with children, women, or animals - anyone weaker than you - until you fix this. If you get triggered, you are going to hurt someone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Connor66 Posted August 9, 2015 Author Share Posted August 9, 2015 I think she'll likely stay with you for awhile whether you get treatment or not. She's cowed down and has no self esteem. Or she may be too scared to leave. Did you see this kind of behavior when you were growing up? No, I didn't. Sorry but I can't control my anger at her. I do think she is cheating on me, I don't like her seeing her male friends... I know she told her friends that she bumped into a cupboard or something because they obviously noticed marks on her body. :( Link to post Share on other sites
regine_phalange Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 If you want to prove you're a man go hit a man your size or bigger, pansy boy. If I were her I would have ruined you. I didn't do it when I had the chance because in my case it happened only once and I left him. I could have him punished. At least I stomped on his feet with all my force, wearing heels. Sometimes I pray to meet someone like you again. I'd love so much to ruin an abuser's reputation and public face (their worst fear). And I'd love so much to se them dragged out of my house from the police and I'd love so much to have them empty their bank account because I would sue them. I'm not scared of such coward men. So many years and I'm still angry. She's going to be too. If you want your own good (because you obviously don't care about hers) just get out of her life already. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
MelodyRye Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 (edited) You're lucky it wasn't me going Madea on you. In case you don't know what that means...that would be me pretending to accept your apologies and preparing you breakfast, actually a NICE breakfast full of hot grits... then throw it to you the next time you slap/punch me again. Keep it up and you're going to find yourself either with in jail facing assault charges (or even a life sentence if you take it too far) or find yourself in the hospital if that girl were me. Edited August 9, 2015 by MelodyRye Link to post Share on other sites
Author Connor66 Posted August 9, 2015 Author Share Posted August 9, 2015 You're lucky it wasn't me going Madea on you. In case you don't know what that means...that would be me pretending to accept your apologies and preparing you breakfast, actually a NICE breakfast full of hot grits... then throw it to you the next time you slap/punch me again. Keep it up and you're going to find yourself either with in jail facing assault charges (or even a life sentence if you take it too far) or find yourself in the hospital if that girl were me. But she is not that sort of person, my girlfriend will never hurt anyone. Can't believe I did all this to her. Link to post Share on other sites
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