DonnaDiva Posted August 10, 2015 Posted August 10, 2015 I just broke up with my bf about 2 weeks ago because he kept cancelling plans and did not want to fully commit to me only. After the break up, I told my gay male friend about the most recent incident that lead to our breakup. Mind you - I never talked to this friend about my relationship with my ex until after the breakup. Out of the blue, my gay male friend starts telling me intimate details about my ex that I never told him before - like where he lives, what type of apartment he lives in, and his political beliefs. Furthermore, my gay male friend wrote an ad about my ex and suggested that I post the ad in the classified section of a gay website. That ad was very accurate and pretty much described my ex's sexual preferences and physical attributes down to the letter. But when I confronted my gay male friend about how he knows so much about my ex and whether he slept with my ex before, my gay friend got all defensive at first but then started acting guilty by repeatedly calling me back to talk about this after he already said that it was resolved and there was no hard feelings. We talked about this 3 times already and my gay male friend keeps denying everything. He's denied that he even knows my ex and has denied that he himself is gay which is laughable. He said he got defensive because I accused him of sleeping with a man...I told him he's gay and that what gay men do! He also tried to explain away the ad by saying he's a journalist and just made up stuff off the top of his head to get people to respond to the ad. And as far as him knowing about where my ex lives, he said he just guessed that town because I told him we live 30 minutes apart and he's been to that town before for a seminar. Mind you, there are 2 other cities 30 minutes from where I live.... My friend also said since he works in real estate, he knows that there are only garden apartments in that area. And as far as knowing my ex's political beliefs, my gay friend said that was just something he made up for the ad and he didn't actually know his political affiliation. I don't trust my gay male friend anymore and I feel he has violated our 5 year friendship by lying and withholding the truth from me. My health and safety is in danger now and as a friend I would think he would at least tell me that he slept with my ex during this time my ex and I were together. My ex was 2 timing both of us, so it's not like my friend knew about our relationship and slept with my ex anyway. So what should I do? I'm thinking about ending the friendship with my gay male friend and confronting my ex about his bisexual behaviors. Because my ex absolutely should have told me he was bisexual instead of leading me on and making me think he was straight.
jen1447 Posted August 10, 2015 Posted August 10, 2015 So your gay friend never admitted it? I guess you have to decide for yourself what your lines are, based on what your intuition tells you. If you truly think he slept with your ex, I'd first of all just leave your ex alone - he's your ex and you're not much entitled to preach to him anymore and it wouldn't likely do any good anyway, then divorce your gay friend, and also get a full STD panel done due to there being higher rates of STD transmission between gay men.
ElleD Posted August 10, 2015 Posted August 10, 2015 So your gay friend never admitted it? I guess you have to decide for yourself what your lines are, based on what your intuition tells you. If you truly think he slept with your ex, I'd first of all just leave your ex alone - he's your ex and you're not much entitled to preach to him anymore and it wouldn't likely do any good anyway, then divorce your gay friend, and also get a full STD panel done due to there being higher rates of STD transmission between gay men. That's right - my gay friend never admitted it. He's even denying that he himself is gay which is ridiculous. I guess he's protecting my ex because if my friend admits that he's gay and sleeps with other men, then it will make it that much more likely that he slept with my ex given everything he knows about my ex. And his lying is rather pointless...It seems like my ex cheated on my gay friend when he started dating me.
jen1447 Posted August 10, 2015 Posted August 10, 2015 Wait - are you the same person? (DonnaDiva and ElleD?)
Phoenixashes Posted August 10, 2015 Posted August 10, 2015 Wait - are you the same person? (DonnaDiva and ElleD?) Sure looks like it.. especially with ElleD's thread about the ex not being exclusive and cancelling trips. O.p?
Recommended Posts