mcbg13 Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 I had an ugly break up with my ex a month and a half ago. I found out he lied to me, kicked him out and it was over just like that. I don't like that he lied to me but with time, I understood that what he lied to me about wasn't that much of a big deal and that I didn't make it easy for him to talk to me. I tried and tried to tell him I wanted to work things out but he said he couldn't get back with me. We saw each other this weekend and we both cried and realized we missed each other but he still said he wasn't sure what he wanted to do. He also told me he had a one night stand with somebody else while we were broken up. That hurt me a lot because I had opportunities to see other people but chose not to because I loved him still. But I guess we weren't together so what he did while we were apart doesn't matter and he was honest enough to tell me the truth this time. Today he texted me saying he wanted to give our relationship another shot but that first he wanted us to meet and discuss openly what we liked and disliked from our relationship to see if we can better understand each other and make things work better the second time. Is this a good idea? Thanks! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 He lied and kicked you out. Why would you beg him back? Link to post Share on other sites
pidgeon1010 Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 (edited) - What did he lie about and if it wasn't a big deal, why did you react so harshly by kicking him out? Do you think you minimized the lie, after the fact, because you wanted him back? - Why did he refuse to work on things when you asked for reconciliation initially? - What changes have both of you made? On a positive note, sounds like you two are trying to think things through before getting back together. Edited August 10, 2015 by pidgeon1010 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 Have that talk if you want to, but don't make that decision there and then when you're both feeling very emotional. You should both go away and reflect on what you said to each other. Give yourselves some time for your thoughts and feelings to become clear. Take care. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mcbg13 Posted August 12, 2015 Author Share Posted August 12, 2015 (edited) - What did he lie about and if it wasn't a big deal, why did you react so harshly by kicking him out? Do you think you minimized the lie, after the fact, because you wanted him back? - Why did he refuse to work on things when you asked for reconciliation initially? - What changes have both of you made? On a positive note, sounds like you two are trying to think things through before getting back together. He lied about not smoking pot during our entire relationship. It is something I was not comfortable with because I have never smoked myself or known people who smoked. After we broke up, I realized his smoking didn't have a negative impact on his life or on our relationship so I shouldn't have reacted that strongly. The lying was wrong though and trust and open communication is something we would need to work on a lot. He didn't want to get back together in the last few weeks since the break up because he couldn't get over the fact I kicked him out. He realized he was happy with me though and that he shouldn't have lied to me. We met up last night and talked about what worked and didn't work in our past relationship. We talked about what we would like to do differently if we tried again and we seem to be on the same page. We will start seeing each other again slowly and get to know each other again and start off from there to build a more solid foundation. Edited August 12, 2015 by mcbg13 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Justme1977 Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 Good,u know. Keep us posted. Link to post Share on other sites
Justme1977 Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 Sorry I meant good luck, keep us posted. Link to post Share on other sites
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