Is it necessary to block/delete your ex on social media during No Contact?

[jasxo]

If you do not interact with your ex at all on social media (aka no likes/comments/personal messages) is it necessary to delete them? I have not reached out to him at all since the break up and do not plan to ever contact him again but he's still my friend on facebook and instagram.

 

He broke up with me but it didn't end on a bad note. I would like to reconcile our relationship (if he initiates first).

 

Is the reason people suggest this so you do not see him having fun (and protect your own feelings), or is it just to make him wonder what you're doing?

 

What are your thoughts? If you think I should delete him, please give reasons.

Edited August 11, 2015 by jasxo

[912brian24]

You should Absoulty 110% delete! We all like to say that we're not going to look but the truth is your going to be looking at it every 10 minutes so do yourself a favor and delete him! He's going to be looking at yours also so when he sees your not friends it might make him think about things but that's just a might! For real do yourself a favor and delete him!

[na49]

Is the reason people suggest this so you do not see him having fun (and protect your own feelings)

 

I believe that this is the reason.

[stupidkittten]

I don't think I've ever deleted an ex, especially if it didn't end on bad terms. I always feel like it looks bitter to delete them so I just don't. If it's going to hurt me to look at their stuff, then I either avoid social media for a bit but idk. I'm also on friendly terms with most of my exes, like we're not friends and we don't talk much at all but if we ran into each other in public it wouldn't be awkward.

[aloneinaz]

You BLOCK and delete your ex because-

 

 

* You WILL stalk them if you're able to for the first few months. You'll be carefully dissecting every post, like, statement, etc..

 

 

* You're opening up yourself to further pain and suffering (if you were dumped) when you view the ex "stating" their lives are so happy. You'll see pics of them partying in bars. Even worse, seeing the ex start posting pictures of the "new" person in their life.

 

 

* Blocking them will prevent them from keeping tabs on you. What you're doing now is none of their business and vs. versa.

 

 

When you can no longer see what your ex is up too, it's a relief. Again, to get over a break up, only out of sight and out of mind works. Neither of which will apply if you're spying on their social media.

 

 

My last ex and I ended. I blocked her and her sister and then defriended anyone that was a friend or family member of hers. I was very careful to make sure all my posts where only seen by friends, not the public. I felt SSOO much better when I did this. I had no aspirations to hear about, see or anything else about my ex.

[mightycpa]

You only need to block if knowing about the person bothers you, or, if it bothers them.

 

NC is a way to break dependence upon another person for happiness. It is a way to protect hearts from the pain of a new reality. It is a way to help someone move along without their ex.

 

If there is no dependence or pain or difficulty for either person, NC is completely unnecessary. I've only been in one breakup like that, ever, and I've been in a lot of breakups. It doesn't have to last forever, although in my experience, after it was no longer necessary, I didn't have any reason to seek my ex out, nor did they have any reason to seek me out.

 

Not even curiosity.

[LonelyGAL86]

Yes! I agree with the posts above! I was in a 7.5 year relationship and was blindsided back in March, when my now EX (he left work and said his usual "I love you…I'll be home soon" and came home *there was no argument at that time* and said he was DONE) and saw alot of nasty things he posted on FB and noticed the "red flags" a few weeks before the break-up. He was constantly online, clicking like to married ladies pics… including my cousin's wife and when we together at that time just weeks before the madness, he would always laugh saying it was "just FB."

 

After he moved out, I still kept him as a friend in hopes one day he will regret his decision or miss me….whatever…. LOL, who was I kidding?

 

This married lady "friend" that has flirted with him throughout the years is back in his life and they are hanging out. Saw all that sh*t posted on the main wall, when I logged in on top of him now talking to a girl that has two daughters (around 10 and 12) and in ALL THE YEARS we were together, he always said he NEVER WANTS TO BE A DAD or be involved EVER with somebody with baggage/kids. He's done a 180 and is a complete stranger among lying A_HOLE!!!!

 

It felt great when I finally let go and gave him the boot online ! Trust me - as others mentioned, it will only hurt you in the end. I have seen too much crap and I should of done this awhile ago.

 

I used to like FB to a degree but now wish it never existed. Basically a playground of trouble, if you continue to remain friends with him online.

 

I miss the good old days when communication was writing letters, making phone calls and talking in person. Besides this awesome community online, I find especially on FB - people live a fake persona and hide behind the screen. It's almost a fantasy world to some like my EX and in person - he's not as "badass" as he thinks.

Edited August 11, 2015 by LonelyGAL86

[Ifeelok]

that is the same question i am asking myself. In my situation i am the dumpee. She erased me and blocked me from both FB and IG. She said to me before she did it "dont take it personal, but i need to do this for myself". After she erased all of our pictures together. It hurts so bad i have been 1 month NC and its hard but im keeping it up. When i asked her if she still loved me she said yes, and that i will always be her first love. I asked her if she wants me to move on or wait for her while she "finds herself" and she replied with a "idk, i honestly do not know what to tell you. Btw all her family and friends still like my posts and follow me... need some advice.. we have been together for almost 5 years hardly argued..just randomly dumped me.

[Michelle ma Belle]

It's called self-preservation and the simple answer to your question is YES especially if you're hoping to reconcile.

[LoveIsMyReligion]

Out of sight, out of mind.

[yellowhibiscus]

Yes...best thing you can do for yourself. Even if your relationship didn't end on a bad note, seeing him with another girl in the future could be really painful for you. I blocked my ex (who was flirting and talking to other girls prior to break up) and it has been the best decision I have ever made. It takes away the temptation to see what he is doing and to really focus on myself.

[Empyrea]

During my breakup and NC I just stopped following my ex on social media, but didn't delete him off my friends list, because I felt that would send too hostile a signal. We also broke up on good terms. I mean, I didn't want to see his updates in my news feed or which girls he'd befriended, so it did the trick just to stop following him. I'm always a bit amazed when exes remove each other from their friends list.. it just seems really immature. Learning to control your need to stalk him is part of the process. Clicking on his profile is something that you'd probably do out of habit even after deleting him, so I don't see the point. Once you've finally moved on, that will all stop naturally anyway.

[PegNosePete]

Turn this question on its head.

 

Why would you NOT block your ex?

 

What is the benefit of NOT blocking them?

 

How will NOT blocking them improve your quality of life?

[aloneinaz]

During my breakup and NC I just stopped following my ex on social media, but didn't delete him off my friends list, because I felt that would send too hostile a signal. We also broke up on good terms. I mean, I didn't want to see his updates in my news feed or which girls he'd befriended, so it did the trick just to stop following him. I'm always a bit amazed when exes remove each other from their friends list.. it just seems really immature. Learning to control your need to stalk him is part of the process. Clicking on his profile is something that you'd probably do out of habit even after deleting him, so I don't see the point. Once you've finally moved on, that will all stop naturally anyway.

 

 

It's "hostile" to remove a now ex from Facebook? I'm not sure I understand that view point. MOST folks who are dumped feel it was "hostile" of their now ex to kick them out of their life, especially if they were A-holes about it.

 

 

My view is when a relationship ends, one person is usually hurt. You're no longer friends, lovers or anything else. So, why keep them as "friends" on your FB? You don't want to know or care what this person that's no longer in your life does. The other smart thing is to remove ALL their family members and friends from your FB friends list as well. EVERYONE gets why people do that. They don't want reminders of the exes life, friends or family members, especially when it's fresh and emotional.

 

 

I wish I had your discipline cause lords knows I would of stalked had I not wiped my FB account clean of her and everyone she knew. I think the vast majority don't possess that level of self control either which is why the simply block the ex as well

[Learningtowalkagain]

My story: Broke up with my ex in January. We stayed in touch. We were still flirty, texts, drunk texts etc. Knew the door was still open to reconcile. A month or so ago I hear she has a new bf. My fb was deactivated at the time. I reactivated it, unfriended her, her family, and any friends I met through her. I saw one pic of her with her new bf because I had to go to her page to unfriend her. That was enough to hurt. So 6 months later and I was over her and see one pic of her with her new bf and that's what lead me to this site.

 

So yes you 1 million % need to delete them from social media.

[Xiomn]

Blocking is nice, and by no means am I suggesting anyone to do otherwise, but I feel like the act of blocking doesn't really do much.

 

We all know every now and them desperation or curiosity sets in really bad and just a few clicks and they're unblocked again, just a few clicks and you've set up a fake account to stalk your ex on. Sure, blocking solves a lot of problems but in the end it's the willpower inside you that will help you in the end.