Goodbye Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 I"m guessing he is back with his wife. Maybe he didn't even "file." You can usually check court records. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cali408 Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 He's is doing you a HUGE favor. Yes it's tough and you got your hopes up. 1. He filed, he's going to be going through hell and needs to figure out what he wants. You don't need to be his emotional binkie or his rebound. 2. He feels guilty about the two of you. It was a relationship based on deceit. Not the best foundation for a relationship. 3. He's also going to probably have some financial issues. That takes a huge strain on any relationship. The last thing you need is to be in his life complicating things, not only for yourself but him If he really wants you, he'll look you up once all is said and done. Right now he's nuclear Don't hold the candle by the window, move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SolG Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 Oh shattered I'm so sorry Sounds like yours may have been an exit A. Where a MM really does want to end his M... But doesn't have the gumption to do it on his own. So he enlists an AP to help him blow up his M and/or be his cheerleader on the way out. In this instance, once the M has ended the AP has served their purpose and MM no longer needs them around. It's a ****ty strategy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NewLeaf512 Posted August 14, 2015 Share Posted August 14, 2015 Make no mistake, he is going back to his wife. He's just trying to gently prepare you for it (and possibly for a continued A with him on the side). I am sad to say that this is likely to be true. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted August 14, 2015 Share Posted August 14, 2015 I flat out asked - do you want to be with me? He said no. Said it wouldn't work because of how we got together, and how would it be perceived by others? He said he still cared about me but it wouldn't work. We haven't communicated since then. This is not uncommon. In his eyes, YOU are probably not marriage/LTR material, YOU are happy to sleep with a man behind his wife's back, YOU were happy to be mixed up in all that deceit, all those lies and sneaking about. How could he trust you wouldn't do the same to him. Yes, it is hypocritical and unbelievable, but you were his dirty little secret and I guess he now wants to keep it that way. Maybe he wants to be seen as just a man having a hard time in his marriage - a man getting a divorce. He may wish to play the victim to friends and family. He may be trying hard to reconcile with his wife, or he may have some other female in mind. He cannot do any of that with an OW in tow. Be glad it is finished, it wasn't a particularly happy time in your life. and he didn't sound at all like a man who truly cared for you, in fact by what you wrote here concerning your relationship, he often treated you abominably. Forget about being a poor second best, find a man who truly loves you and only you. Hugs. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted August 14, 2015 Share Posted August 14, 2015 (edited) And sure enough, his car was parked right next to hers in the driveway. Of course, it was. While he's busy lying to you about how he doesn't want his wife back, he's over there begging her to TAKE him back. If I had a nickel for every single time I've read about a married man crying to his wife that he wants to come back home while telling his OW a completely different story, I'd be rich. I have some sincere doubts that he's been to a lawyer and filed for divorce. Hell, at this point, I'd have sincere doubts about anything that comes out of his mouth. ETA: She probably booted HIS ass out the door because she probably found out he was still running to you while begging her to let him come back home. As I said above, I wouldn't believe a thing out of his mouth. Edited August 14, 2015 by Lois_Griffin 3 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted August 14, 2015 Share Posted August 14, 2015 Of course, it was. While he's busy lying to you about how he doesn't want his wife back, he's over there begging her to TAKE him back. If I had a nickel for every single time I've read about a married man crying to his wife that he wants to come back home while telling his OW a completely different story, I'd be rich. I have some sincere doubts that he's been to a lawyer and filed for divorce. Hell, at this point, I'd have sincere doubts about anything that comes out of his mouth. ETA: She probably booted HIS ass out the door because she probably found out he was still running to you while begging her to let him come back home. As I said above, I wouldn't believe a thing out of his mouth. I think the car in the driveway was a while ago. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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