magicallydelicious Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 i've been dating this guy for a little over a month, we've been on 5 dates so far, and on the last date we got a little more physical (3rd base), but we didn't go all the way. he insisted that i spend the night after, and i did. that was Thursday night (into Friday morning). he texted me Saturday and we chatted for a little while, but he was tired and i was out with friends, so it wasn't anything in depth. i haven't heard from him since then. he will often go 1-2 days without contacting me, but this is a bit longer. he did 'like' one of my photos on instagram earlier, but that's about all i've heard. should i wait for him to text me? is it a sign of lost interest? thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
angel.eyes Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 Have you ever contacted him? Link to post Share on other sites
Author magicallydelicious Posted August 11, 2015 Author Share Posted August 11, 2015 i have. i usually let him initiate thought Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 There are at least three similar threads going on right now. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/540964-why-has-he-gone-cold-me http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/541902-what-going-him http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/542413-he-losing-interest It's around this time (3 – 5 dates) where I feel like guys either stay or they go. Either initiate yourself or lay low and be busy with other things and just wait. Time will tell, there's really no use speculating. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
VengeanceGuidesMe Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 It's been three days and he hasn't heard from you 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Zippy2000 Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 Its only been 3 days. lol. Give it a week then start panicking. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Amalyn Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 Why don't you text him? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 i have. i usually let him initiate thought This is your first mistake. I will agree with losangelena that dates 3-5 are challenging and often it's around this time when the men are separated from the boys. Rather than sit around waiting and wondering and driving yourself mental why not reach out and test the water yourself? At least this way you can decide whether or not he's worth pining over. And I second that it's only be 3 days. If you're already panicking on day 3 when it normally takes him 2 days to respond you're going to be a hot mess come day 5. Contact him then keep yourself busy. Done. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 i have. i usually let him initiate thought And how long do you let a man always initiate? Don't you think they want us to show interest as well? Also after 4-5 dates there is no more 'who initiate'. If reaching out to him is gonna make him lose interest than so be it. Who wants a man like that anyway. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
GTR King Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 If he likes you then he will be happy that you have texted him or text you soon... If you have heard nothing after a week then you should worry. But for now no need to worry 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 i've been dating this guy for a little over a month, we've been on 5 dates so far, Has he ever taken you out on a weekend? Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 (edited) And how long do you let a man always initiate? Don't you think they want us to show interest as well? Also after 4-5 dates there is no more 'who initiate'. If reaching out to him is gonna make him lose interest than so be it. Who wants a man like that anyway. Good post! Communication is a two way process. This is something that some women still don't seem to grasp. They let a guy do most or all of the initiating. Then when there is suddenly a lapse, they figure he's lost interest. But the obvious answer is that the guy got sick of doing all the work. My guess is that the guy still likes the OP. He's just finally allowing her space to actually reach out to him more. But instead of doing so, she's still waiting on him. In the end, it's that lack of mutual interest that will probably drive him away. My advice OP? Send this - "You've been on my mind. Can't wait for our next date!" Edited August 11, 2015 by fitnessfan365 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Amalyn Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 Just text him. Like Gaeta said, if he loses interest over you contacting him you are better off without him. It's really that simple. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author magicallydelicious Posted August 12, 2015 Author Share Posted August 12, 2015 thanks, everyone. you've all made good points. gaeta, we have hung out on the weekend, but this is incredibly hard to coordinate as he's been out of town a lot and i've been out of town a lot. i did end up contacting him. he told me he's "relaxing after a couple of busy days" and engaged in coversation/asked me questions. the only thing i'm concerned about is that he's made no mention of seeing each other again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author magicallydelicious Posted August 12, 2015 Author Share Posted August 12, 2015 Good post! Communication is a two way process. This is something that some women still don't seem to grasp. They let a guy do most or all of the initiating. Then when there is suddenly a lapse, they figure he's lost interest. But the obvious answer is that the guy got sick of doing all the work. My guess is that the guy still likes the OP. He's just finally allowing her space to actually reach out to him more. But instead of doing so, she's still waiting on him. In the end, it's that lack of mutual interest that will probably drive him away. My advice OP? Send this - "You've been on my mind. Can't wait for our next date!" also, just realized i should've used this line. argh. Link to post Share on other sites
Strahatmak Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 If he's been initiating all the dates so far, ask him out once. Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 thanks, everyone. you've all made good points. gaeta, we have hung out on the weekend, but this is incredibly hard to coordinate as he's been out of town a lot and i've been out of town a lot. i did end up contacting him. he told me he's "relaxing after a couple of busy days" and engaged in coversation/asked me questions. the only thing i'm concerned about is that he's made no mention of seeing each other again. Don't worry; let him relax. If he's had a couple of busy days, then just chill for a couple, THEN hit him up with plans. It's hard, but TRY and let go of your expectations a little bit. I think sometimes we women want men to be all up in our grills all the time to prove their interest. But if y'all have been out five times in a month, then eventually the full-steam-ahead effort is going to dip, especially if he's been busy. A lot of women find the "busy" line an excuse, but sometimes it's reality. If he feel confident that you like him, he's probably going to approach you in a more laid-back manner, too. Three days no contact is nbd in the beginning. Give him some space and then see what he's up to this weekend. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Strahatmak Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 Don't worry; let him relax. If he's had a couple of busy days, then just chill for a couple, THEN hit him up with plans. It's hard, but TRY and let go of your expectations a little bit. I think sometimes we women want men to be all up in our grills all the time to prove their interest. But if y'all have been out five times in a month, then eventually the full-steam-ahead effort is going to dip, especially if he's been busy. A lot of women find the "busy" line an excuse, but sometimes it's reality. If he feel confident that you like him, he's probably going to approach you in a more laid-back manner, too. Three days no contact is nbd in the beginning. Give him some space and then see what he's up to this weekend. I hate playing games, but ya this is so true. Stop making things too easy for him and let him approaches you; but at the same time, you gotta show him that you are interested, too, to keep him motivated. It is way too frustrating. Sometimes it just means that he is just not that into you (yet) to keep his motivation. So lower your expectation. I'd still suggest you to ask him out once or twice when he is laying back. After that, stay low, see if he feels appreciate and goes back to initiate. If not, then you can see this man doesn't worth your time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author magicallydelicious Posted August 12, 2015 Author Share Posted August 12, 2015 Thanks, guys. You've made me look at things from a different point of view. He did text this morning in response to the last comment I made (which didn't necessarily warrant a response) and then when I didn't respond he made another comment about 45 min later. I responded but haven't heard anything yet. Maybe I will try to come up with a playful way to comment on seeing him again. Link to post Share on other sites
rocketman122 Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 Thanks, guys. You've made me look at things from a different point of view. He did text this morning in response to the last comment I made (which didn't necessarily warrant a response) and then when I didn't respond he made another comment about 45 min later. I responded but haven't heard anything yet. Maybe I will try to come up with a playful way to comment on seeing him again. you seem to be a good dating mind games player. everything is overthought scrutinized and analyzed. break free. Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 Why don't you text him? I like for a man to take the lead, but especially after 5 dates, sleeping over his house and such, I definitely don't mind initiating contact or suggesting dates. I'd reach out if I were you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author magicallydelicious Posted August 12, 2015 Author Share Posted August 12, 2015 you seem to be a good dating mind games player. everything is overthought scrutinized and analyzed. break free. Yes, I agree I do overanalyze. I didn't deliberately ignore his text though--I was busy at work and didn't have a chance to respond before he sent the second Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 Thanks, guys. You've made me look at things from a different point of view. He did text this morning in response to the last comment I made (which didn't necessarily warrant a response) and then when I didn't respond he made another comment about 45 min later. I responded but haven't heard anything yet. Maybe I will try to come up with a playful way to comment on seeing him again. Like planning an outing? Such as a sporting event or a concert? Make definite plans... Not just a "hey let's hang out" invite... Make effort. Same as you want him making effort. Link to post Share on other sites
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