7675 Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 I was seeing my ex girl for a few months earlier in the year. We have been friends for a few years but only dated for a few months. But i got clingy when she wanted space so things ended between us. We've remained in contact for the past 2 months since the break up. Mostly initiated by me, but she's also called a few times. Things between us seem alright. However, she never seems to want to meet up. She always gives excuses when i ask. I've also asked her if she's still open to us getting back together but she dodges the question. I plan on going NC. I honestly dont know how long i'll last. But i want to know if there might be a chance of us seeing each other again? Is it a good sign that she still enjoys talking to and being in contact with me? Any opinions would be appreciated Link to post Share on other sites
La.Primavera Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 I'm sorry but it seems blatantly obvious that she is not interested in reconciling. At the moment she is talking to you because she wants to be friendly and doesn't want to hurt your feelings which is the same reason she dodges your questions about getting back together. She doesn't want to hang out with you because she doesn't want to give you the wrong idea which exactly what would happen if you did hang out because you clearly want more than friendship from her. She doesn't want to be the bad guy and reject even more, but it would have been better for you in the long run if she had been more blunt about it because you are still holding out hope which is likely to hurt you more in the long run. For your own good I really think you should go no contact. You need to move on and find the happiness you deserve. The longer you hold on to this the harder it will be. It isn't easy but you need to be strong and do what is best for you. Take care. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author 7675 Posted August 12, 2015 Author Share Posted August 12, 2015 Thanks for the response. Yeah, it does suck but a blunt answer wouldve been better. Now I can't help but keep hoping. I still think her and I could get together again in the future, but I'm not going to wait or anything. This is going to be day 1 of my NC. I'm determined to stick to it. Succeeding is not going to be easy though, especially since I know she's only a phone call away Link to post Share on other sites
La.Primavera Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 That's why what she is doing is so selfish. She doesn't want to keep rejecting you because it makes her feel like the bad guy but that leaves you hanging on to hope that isn't there. It is really unfair. You are doing the right thing. I know it is tough but stay strong. You will be glad when you have finally moved on and don't care about her anymore. You will meet someone amazing who appreciates how lucky she is to be with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 7675 Posted August 12, 2015 Author Share Posted August 12, 2015 You're right. Thanks for the advice. She was a good friend before we started seeing each other. I don't want to forget her for good, but if that's what it takes to move on, then so be it. Wish I could just fast forward to the point where it all means nothing to me anymore Link to post Share on other sites
Author 7675 Posted August 12, 2015 Author Share Posted August 12, 2015 What do I do if she contacts me? Link to post Share on other sites
dg2302 Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 Don't respond to her if she tries to contact you. I've made the mistake and it only leads to more heartbreak and doubt. Link to post Share on other sites
Realitycol Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 I was seeing my ex girl for a few months earlier in the year. We have been friends for a few years but only dated for a few months. But i got clingy when she wanted space so things ended between us. We've remained in contact for the past 2 months since the break up. Mostly initiated by me so you're STILL clingy wow.. you broke up and you accepted that it was you being clingy that doomed your relationship and you're still being clingy. She asked for space yet you didn't give her space, but she's also called a few times. Things between us seem alright. friends However, she never seems to want to meet up. because you are still chasing her and being clingy. You're not a challenge, she knows you got NO OTHER options. She can have you whenever she wants. Tbh, she's turned off by your clinginess still She always gives excuses when i ask. what do you expect, she gave you the REAL REASON months ago and you still didn't get the hint. You're still initiating contact, you're still chasing, you're still clingy I've also asked her if she's still open to us getting back together but she dodges the question. omg you never bring that question up... just go with the flow and LET HER CHOOSE. I plan on going NC. stop planning and do it already, you're already months behind. I honestly dont know how long i'll last. with such "I'm going to just fail" mindset, prob not long. Go back to chasing her and see how that works out. But i want to know if there might be a chance of us seeing each other again? Is it a good sign that she still enjoys talking to and being in contact with me? Any opinions would be appreciated Dude, get a grip! She said everything and you're not taking the hint. Chance? If there's such a thing as chance then you just further ruined/lowered it by being what you are; clingy, insecure, fearful, chasing, neurotic. Love comes and goes. You have no idea what it can do or who it can bring back or who you'll fall in love with next, just let LOVE DO ITS THING and while so, improve the things that turn every women off. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 7675 Posted August 12, 2015 Author Share Posted August 12, 2015 Yeah, yeah, I know man. I know. This is all stuff I shouldve figured out long ago. Back then I felt as though talking to her would better my chances. I asked her if there was a chance because I wanted to know for sure. Without an answer, my mind keeps hoping for something. I can't help that. You don't know how many times i've told myself the same stuff, but i keep dropping the ball. Anyway, whatever. Life moves on, not going to dwell on the past Link to post Share on other sites
Realitycol Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 (edited) Yeah, yeah, I know man. I know. This is all stuff I shouldve figured out long ago. Back then I felt as though talking to her would better my chances. I asked her if there was a chance because I wanted to know for sure. Without an answer, my mind keeps hoping for something. I can't help that. You don't know how many times i've told myself the same stuff, but i keep dropping the ball. Anyway, whatever. Life moves on, not going to dwell on the past When I feel what you are going through what I personally do is I forgive and let them go. I wish them best and MEAN it. I actually hope they meet someone great and not someone that's worse, because you can bet your money on it, I'm meeting someone that's absolutely better than my ex-gf. In the meantime I'm spending every waking moment on myself. Whether it be the best haircut in the city or eating the healthiest and most delicious **** possible. Pumping weights like there is no tomorrow and getting that nice after workout shake. Listen to some nice lectures about self improvements and behavior on the radio on your way to work or wherever you drive to. Read some books about being a better man. Work like you love your job, you realize there are 1000s of people that are bed ridden and WISH they could work like you? You LOOK and FEEL great physically and emotionally and you see yourself in the mirror and know you're ****ing amazing (I mean... people lose sight of this when they get dumped and at an all time low). You're like damn, I'm a catch, my ex-gf dumped me? She's crazy and laugh it off and just walk down some busy intersection and look confidently into women's eyes as you cross the street on a nice summer day. If you're in great shape you can notice they do obvious stares at your pecs, I once had a woman who took a step BACK as she brushed past me and yeah I followed where her eyes were staring at. Then you'll think back of this girl who dumped you and you'll just smile and laugh it off and think of how immature and weak you were and how much better you are now. Edited August 12, 2015 by Realitycol Link to post Share on other sites
Author 7675 Posted August 12, 2015 Author Share Posted August 12, 2015 I've already got the haircut sorted. I'm kinda skinny so i'll have to work on the pecs but i'm keen to do that. I actually had it all planned out, a whole plan on how i was going to get back to feeling awesome... and then i contacted her and backtracked. But I hear you man. You're 100% right. Thanks for the advice mate. I'll make sure I stick to it. Link to post Share on other sites
La.Primavera Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 If you are serious about the no contact then you need to ignore her if she ever contacts you. Block her number if you don't trust yourself. That also applies to social media. If you are friends on Facebook or anything like that, delete and block. You don't need the distraction or temptation getting in your way. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts