mrooper Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 Me and my husband have been married for 16 years.We have a daughter together.He's the perfect husband.He provides for us,spends time with us.In one word he's a workaholic but does not neglect us.However,recently he's been neglecting our sex life and by recently I mean the last couple of years.The last time we had sex was in late 2012.Ever since then he's always been either tired or busy.He's the love of my life.There's absolutely no doubt about that so I feel very guilty for what I did.There was a time when I thought he was having an affair hence the reason he never wanted to have sex with me so I looked at his phone,laptop,overheard his conversations,followed him to work and quite frankly After doing all of that I was convinced he was having an affair any more as he was always at work and all his emails were all professional.So a couple of months ago,after wondering why he doesn't want me any more and frustrating over it,I thought to myself:I'm getting old and ugly,my man doesn't find me attractive any more.This past February,I met a young man,a single father,a very laid back person.We hit it off instantly and became friends,we became so close that I ended up telling him about my personal life and my tribulations.Once,offered to take me out on a movie night which I agreed to(as friends,obviously).After the movie he kissed me and told me I was sexy.At that moment I felt like cheating on my husband but I was able to control myself.I told him I couldn't do it.He was disappointed but said it was ok and apologized for kissing me.When we got in his car(because I can't drive),I felt really bad for sort of leading him on so I apologized again and because I didn't want to cheat but at the same time wanted to make it up to him,I told him I was sorry and then I gave him a blowjob until he pulled over near my house.He came in my mouth and when I was about to spit it out(because I don't like swallowing) he threatened to tell my husband about the blowjob and started giggling with a smirk on his face so I swallowed and instantly felt like a whore and wanted to die.Ever since then he's found a way to blackmail me into having sex with him.Should I tell my husband?I know what I'm doing is wrong and I cry every night but maybe if I told my husband this whole thing would stop.I don't know what to do.This man turned out to be an ******* and was never really my friend.I really love my husband.I know it's no excuse but I felt very lonely and needed affection hence the reason I'm in this situation now.Help! Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 I supposed this is a lesson learned the hard way. Have you ever discussed your feelings of sexual neglect (or any feelings) with your husband prior to the affair? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mrooper Posted August 11, 2015 Author Share Posted August 11, 2015 No,not really.That also makes me feel guilty. Link to post Share on other sites
kilgore Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 No,not really.That also makes me feel guilty. You should talk to your hubby now about the problem not the affair Link to post Share on other sites
Clay Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 The longer you let this go on the more damage your going to create. Tell your husband today. Tell him everything. Then call the cops get them to come over and talk to you about this guy. The next move is get a restraining order on the guy and block all commutations from him. Your marriage might be over but your never going to fix anything until you try. C 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mn_bowhunter Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 From the BS perspective you need to tell him. Nothing is worse than finding out another way. Telling him is really your best chance at reconciliation. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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