Assisted GF in her move, then got dumped.

[erklat]

Yes, this text is all about her. How long are you broken up ?

[Oregon_Dude]

Yes, this text is all about her. How long are you broken up ?

Two weeks. I agree. She wants a response. Any response, to see if I'm still on the hook. I bet it'll really p*ss her off to be ignored.

[Popsicle]

Don't respond! She's just trying to suck you back into being her chump.

[Oregon_Dude]

Thanks for coming through, guys and gals. See kids, THIS is how you ignore an ex who treated you sh*tty.

 

Honestly I'm really surprised. I thought she'd go NC forever.

[foolinlove79]

Dont reply mate. Take it from someone who knows..you will feel like crap if you do.

[HandsomeBoh]

Why is it so hard to believe that she genuinely cares for you and wants to know if you're doing well? She might not get back together with you unless you've made some kind of pronounced change, but its hard not to care and be concerned for someone you used to love.

[Oregon_Dude]

Why is it so hard to believe that she genuinely cares for you and wants to know if you're doing well? She might not get back together with you unless you've made some kind of pronounced change, but its hard not to care and be concerned for someone you used to love.

No offense, but you clearly haven't read my tale. I have no changing that needs to be done. She broke up with me after helping her move interstate. I do not want to get back together with her. She hurt me deeply.

[Oregon_Dude]

I know what not to do, but I really could use hearing from others that think her text is meaningless. Or if you think she's reaching out. Whatever. You guys know how breakups mess with our brains.

[Popsicle]

I know what not to do, but I really could use hearing from others that think her text is meaningless. Or if you think she's reaching out. Whatever. You guys know how breakups mess with our brains.

 

 

Listen, this is real simple. When someone dumps you, especially when you've done nothing wrong, unless they come out the gate BEGGING you back, don't take them back. Ignore them. Have some dignity.

[skweezd]

Oregon Dude,

 

I'm relating so well to your story so thank you for sharing with us. Now let's talk about your ex.... **** HER. Carry on.

 

Best,

Straight Out Of Philly

[Oregon_Dude]

Thanks a lot, you guys. Popsicle, you're right - I didn't do one f*cking thing wrong. skweezd - F*CK HER! Thanks!!

[Gus Grimly]

Dude, she was cruel. Plain and simple. Oh, I'm sure she'll justify her treatment of you up and down. But, what she did was downright selfish and mean. Where's her common decency? She doesn't have any because she has no morals, character and integrity. She should be ashamed of herself for having contacted you after acting so callous.

 

Block her already. Get in your on-line cell service provider account and block her number from texting. Don't feed the trolls.

[Oregon_Dude]

Thanks for saying that, Gus. I appreciate the support. And now that she's "thinking of me" (even though that doesn't mean sh*t - as Brian said, she probably DID just get f*cked, and it wasn't as good as me), she gets to deal with the consequences of her actions: my eternal silence. As much as she treated me like a piece of dirt, I know in the depths of my heart that I only helped her and loved her. Though I really doubt it, I hope my silence shows her that she ruined a good thing. I hope she thinks about what she did. I'll never know either way.

 

I'm not going to block her number, though. I want to know if/what she texts me again. Not because I want to reconcile. I want to see if she goes a little crazy. This doesn't count as contact; I just want to see if the ignoring her bothers her, or if she has anything else to say. Don't worry; I won't respond to anything.

[dumbass2]

I've read your story and just because she is an ex, if I thought you should respond to that I would tell you to do so. I'm not 100% you never reply to your ex even as a dumpee, but with your story and how she treated you, there is no doubt you should not. Your silence is what she deserves. Nothing more, nothing less. It says it all. You may get a few more meaningless texts and you may not. She may come to realize that you are a much stronger man than she realized and that you do have boundaries and self respect. That's a win win in my book.

[aloneinaz]

Oregon,

 

 

Another way to view this is that she had all the power when she dumped you. She chose to terminate the relationship and said "scam kid, I don't want you around anymore"..

 

 

You know have the power and control in that YOU chose to talk to her or not again. In this case, HELL NO, don't do it.

[darkbloom]

You will feel so empowered when you can look back on this and say, "wow, I really kept my self respect and my dignity in my body and did not let her drag me on her psychotic emotional roller coaster again and stamp all over my heart."

[Oregon_Dude]

Thanks again, everyone. I woke up actually pretty p*ssed off. "I have been thinking of you." Oh, really? I'm so lucky! Thinking of me - what an amazing gift!

 

This girl is a piece. She actually started that text with "I don't really know what's going on... I really sincerely hope you're doing well." I love the "I don't know what's going on" part, implying I'VE been ignoring her and somehow blame-shifting. To the point where I went to bed going, "OK, is there any way she could have gotten the impression that I dumped HER?"

 

She doesn't love me, she doesn't value me, she texts me just to see if I'll appease her, she doesn't take responsibility, she doesn't apologize, she acts as if this is my fault, she sends one short text after two weeks, no follow-up email, no more texts, doesn't come to my house even though she knows where I live.

 

Here's the thing: while you were getting your "space", I figured you out. You didn't count on that. So you will send your one text and tell your mom/friends I'm an a**hole for not responding, but I know how AWFUL you are. The days of being there for you are OVER. I hope you think about why sometime.

[Chi townD]

 

This girl is a piece. She actually started that text with "I don't really know what's going on... I really sincerely hope you're doing well." I love the "I don't know what's going on" part, implying I'VE been ignoring her and somehow blame-shifting. To the point where I went to bed going, "OK, is there any way she could have gotten the impression that I dumped HER?"

 

 

Really?!?! Is she that frickin stupid? I'm banking that she's not. Now that she's moved in an all settled (thanks to you), she's had time to reflect on what she did. She probably KNOWS that you are angry as hell.

 

 

One thing about MOST girls is they can't stand the fact that there might be a person on the planet that hates their guts or doesn't think they are a nice person. So, she's probably reaching out to you to see if this is the case.

 

 

Give her nothing, dude. Let her hold onto her guilt (if she has any). Let her learn from it. That she can't treat people the way she treated you and expect people to be okay with it.

[Oregon_Dude]

Thanks, Chi. I always look forward to your posts and know I can count on you to speak the capital-T Truth.

 

And no, she's not that stupid. She's very smart, actually. And I hope it burns her up inside, knowing that I dislike her. At this point, if I ever hear from her again - even if she DOES apologize, beg, etc. (impossible for her), I won't respond with a single f*cking word. She's gotten used to treating people badly, just to have no consequences. This may be the first time she reaps them.

[Simon Phoenix]

Dude, stop with the "I want to see if she'll keep texting" game and do a proper block. I mean, look how close you were to responding this past time. You aren't capable of playing this game right now, nor should you want to. This is about you recovering, not you trying to teach some sort of lesson that won't register with her.

 

You're playing with fire right now and if you continue to try to do this, you're going to slip up and get burned. Do a proper block and move forward -- right now you are looking for excuses to stay in the muck. Stop.

[Oregon_Dude]

Simon, I appreciate your advice and perspective. I wasn't really all that close to responding. I'm not going to block her number. End of story. If it's to my detriment, so be it. I get pleasure out of watching her squirm. I want to know if she's squirming.

[Chi townD]

Simon, I appreciate your advice and perspective. I wasn't really all that close to responding. I'm not going to block her number. End of story. If it's to my detriment, so be it. I get pleasure out of watching her squirm. I want to know if she's squirming.

 

Okay, I get it. You're angry as hell and you are in "burn, bitch, burn' mode. But, here's the rub. You're going to go on the rollercoaster of emotions ride. You're anger might give way to sadness and (at that point) if she texts you, you might be vulnerable enough to respond to try and get answers. Now, I'm not saying that's going to happen. But, what I do KNOW for certain is that you're going to ride that ride like it or not.

 

 

So, be mindful of that.

[Oregon_Dude]

Okay, I get it. You're angry as hell and you are in "burn, bitch, burn' mode. But, here's the rub. You're going to go on the rollercoaster of emotions ride. You're anger might give way to sadness and (at that point) if she texts you, you might be vulnerable enough to respond to try and get answers. Now, I'm not saying that's going to happen. But, what I do KNOW for certain is that you're going to ride that ride like it or not.

 

 

So, be mindful of that.

I know. I agree. I know what you guys are saying is correct. Only thing is, having gotten that text from her yesterday is helping me move on. It's helping me see how unapologetic she is, how deluded, and that I'm not the only one stuck here. Though it was a completely meaningless text, one some level it helped to know she's thinking of me. I know it was bullsh*t, just trying to alleviate guilt. And I know that what you say about the rollercoaster is true. I also know that I will 100% not respond to anything she sends me.

 

My guess is she sends maybe one more text and then stops, to save face. I don't know why I'm being so stubborn on this point; she also has my email address, and could write there if she wanted. Haven't blocked that, either. Anyway, you guys are right. Intellectually I know this. I just want to be aware of what she's trying to tell me, for my own satisfaction. I also reserve the right to block these avenues in the future.

[salparadise]

She wants a response. Any response, to see if I'm still on the hook. I bet it'll really p*ss her off to be ignored.

 

Right, she wants to see if you're still on the hook. I don't know if being ignored will bother her, but it's certainly not giving her the validation she wants.

 

I know what not to do, but I really could use hearing from others that think her text is meaningless. Or if you think she's reaching out. Whatever. You guys know how breakups mess with our brains.

 

I think that she expected you to be all butt hurt and a lot of ego-stoking drama would ensue. The fact you just disappeared with no crying, begging or pleading probably confuses the hell out of her and leaves her feeling insecure about her female prowess. I don't think it's necessarily meaningless, but I also don't think she's reaching out in the way you may be hoping... I think she just wants to make sure this whole mess was hurtful to you as an affirmation of power. Don't give it to her.

[Oregon_Dude]

I think she just wants to make sure this whole mess was hurtful to you as an affirmation of power.

Yes. She said "I really sincerely hope you're doing well." Don't f*cking flatter yourself, honey. I've been through this before, and worse.

 

Also, I'm 7 months sober. I bet she thinks I relapsed. I bet she thinks I'm on the couch crying, drinking, smoking weed.

 

This may be the first time an ex hasn't chased her, so yeah, I have a feeling it's messing with her pride a little. Being ignored might not bother her, but it certainly doesn't let her know anything except that I'm p*ssed and not going to play this game anymore.