Is it possible to be more outgoing all the sudden in your 40's?

[InBloom]

Interesting to think about. Some people are content with staying the same. They have become the person they are in their late 30's or early 40's or 50's through experience and just living. Some people would love to change their insecure ways or their shyness but it makes me think; at 40 or 43 or even 49 years old, can you all of the sudden start being more outgoing and changing your ways to me more outspoken and assertive? Or are you too set in your ways for it to stick?

 

 

Can you teach an old dog new tricks? 30's, 40's, 50's aren't old, it's definitely a person who has experienced a good amount of things in his/her life, but you get the idea of what I'm trying to ask and say.

 

 

I think it depends on the individual obviously. That's pretty plain and simple. So I think that it is possible. But it would take a strong willed person to make it stick.

[StalwartMind]

Yeah it's very possible and like you said it depends entirely on the individual. There are many things I'm not great at, but I do have the desire to always improve, granted that everything takes a priority. There is a certain satisfaction with seeing yourself overcome any kind of obstacle, doesn't matter if it's huge or small. What the majority may consider to be a small thing, might be a huge deal to someone else. While most changes have to be done within you, sometimes meeting someone else can be a life changing experience, that in itself is rather wonderful. I'll always be appreciate of all the people I've met and those I've yet to meet. Inspiring and motivating to say the least, and I'm sure even in very old age, people will be able to move me in new ways.

[d0nnivain]

A number of women I know say they became more self assured in middle age. Their personal & business successes brought them confidence they didn't have as younger women.

[pteromom]

You aren't likely going to change from an introvert to an extrovert.

 

But can you learn to speak up, stand up for yourself, be confident in what you are saying or doing, and be among people without feeling insecure and judged?

 

Yes.

[Michelle ma Belle]

You aren't likely going to change from an introvert to an extrovert.

 

But can you learn to speak up, stand up for yourself, be confident in what you are saying or doing, and be among people without feeling insecure and judged?

 

Yes.

 

Yep. I'm living proof of that.

 

I was the shy, sweet, always agreeable, quiet, introverted "good girl" pretty much all my life.

 

As I got older the more life experiences I had. With more experiences came wisdom. Wisdom helped me become successful which in turn help boost my overall confidence. And with that confidence and new found resolve I had a very strong desire to live out loud and stand for things that really mattered to me.

 

So in essence I did change.

 

Or rather I became better version of myself. Kind of like a Michelle 2.0

[mrnova]

Then on the flip side there are some people that have been screw around so much in their youth that they become very guarded and sheltered. Pretty much become loners as a result of being hurt so much. There are some people will never recover from other people bs.People in that situation rather be alone than to risk more pain in their lives

[writergal]

The bottom line is this: people only change if they want to change -- at any age. I do think by the time you are in your 40s, though, you've experienced enough of the world to be comfortable in your own skin.

 

And if people don't like you for who you've become, well, as my dad used to tell me, "you can't fly with the eagles when you're surrounded by turkeys." Surround yourself with good people and you won't have to put up with the b.s. from the turkeys out there. And there's a helluva lotta turkeys out there who are well into their 30s and 40s and beyond.

[Michelle ma Belle]

The bottom line is this: people only change if they want to change -- at any age. I do think by the time you are in your 40s, though, you've experienced enough of the world to be comfortable in your own skin.

 

And if people don't like you for who you've become, well, as my dad used to tell me, "you can't fly with the eagles when you're surrounded by turkeys." Surround yourself with good people and you won't have to put up with the b.s. from the turkeys out there. And there's a helluva lotta turkeys out there who are well into their 30s and 40s and beyond.

 

Now THAT is damn funny and SO true!!! :D

 

I may have to steal this one from you writergal

[writergal]

Now THAT is damn funny and SO true!!! :D

 

I may have to steal this one from you writergal

 

I loved my dad. He was a witty fellow. I'm sure he'd be pleased to know his quips helped others.

[mrnova]

The bottom line is this: people only change if they want to change -- at any age. I do think by the time you are in your 40s, though, you've experienced enough of the world to be comfortable in your own skin.

 

And if people don't like you for who you've become, well, as my dad used to tell me, "you can't fly with the eagles when you're surrounded by turkeys." Surround yourself with good people and you won't have to put up with the b.s. from the turkeys out there. And there's a helluva lotta turkeys out there who are well into their 30s and 40s and beyond.

You stated in your post "Surround yourself with good people and you will not have to deal with the bs", I do not think people go out of their way in their youth to hang out with people that will cause them pain and grief in their lives. You know at one time these same people just had alot of trust in the world. But as a result got screw around. Some people have alot of problems because of other people BS. Maybe if people would treat people with respect there maybe less hurt in the world. In return there would be less guarded and shelted people in the world. But we all know that would be a fantasy world. most people are for themselves

Edited August 13, 2015 by mrnova

[Unlucky_I_Guess]

I'm 45...I was always the "shy kid" when I was younger, pretty much all the way through my teen years. Never had a girlfriend in high school, didn't go to parties, etc.

 

I've always been kind of a homebody and never enjoyed being in large crowds. Until now. I guess I'm a late bloomer but I've decided that I was tired of sitting at home watching TV and just started going out and meeting people. I've made some great friends since then and actually enjoy myself on the weekends. It's all a matter of telling yourself "this isn't working, time for a change".

[Heatherknows]

Yep. I'm living proof of that.

 

I was the shy, sweet, always agreeable, quiet, introverted "good girl" pretty much all my life.

 

As I got older the more life experiences I had. With more experiences came wisdom. Wisdom helped me become successful which in turn help boost my overall confidence. And with that confidence and new found resolve I had a very strong desire to live out loud and stand for things that really mattered to me.

 

So in essence I did change.

 

Or rather I became better version of myself. Kind of like a Michelle 2.0

 

I need some wisdom It would be helpful.

[Tayla]

yes its possible. A guy I went to HS with, painfully shy, kind and intelligent. Kept to himself. Went off to college , travelled overseas.., came back to the states and is now a newsachor. Speaks at community events and is a leader in our community. Very proud of his transformation, he always had an It factor about him....

 

I myself was raised to be quiet and mind my own. A girl was not to have an opinion or ambition of sorts. Took ninth grade speech class to gain a voice... literally and figuratively. Still have those quiet times... which is okay... sometimes it helps to simply absorb ideas without having to be on the spot. Not a fan of extroverts who are cut throat aggressive... they seem to be hard on the ears and eyes.

 

Life events play a key in transformations.... it can happen at any age...

 

( ps- kudos Michelle! like how you transformed yourself, it keeps getting better!!)

[emerald86]

I believe that it's very possible if you set your mind to it. I was painfully shy all throughout my childhood and young adult years. After college, I decided that I would try to talk to people more and overcome this shyness. I can't say that I'm totally and completely confident in my own skin yet, but I'm a whole lot better than what I was a few years ago. I get invited to social events now and I have a lot more friends, and I think that's a major improvement for me.

 

I have friends that went from being total wallflowers to now being the life of the party. I know it can happen--it just takes time, confidence, and perhaps willpower.