Trying to avoid heartbreak

[Hopelessromantic09]

I'm seeing this guy now and he's an ex from way back. We broke but weren't on bad terms at all. I've always missed him so much but never said anything . A few months ago we started hanging out and I feel like we've gotten closer. A few weeks ago we were hanging out and he all of a sudden grabbed me and hugged me from behind and told me how much he misses me and that I still belong to him. We ended up kissing.

 

The next day I visited him at work and he was kind of distant but still friendly. He told me he wanted to hang out later that night after he got off and I agreed.

He ended up doing madotory overtime at work. I texted him and asked him was he still at work and he ignored my text. I called him around 12am and he said that he hadn't been released yet. I have a friend that works with him and she texted me saying she was released to go home around 2am (which also meant he was) I called him and I asked why he didn't text or anything saying he was off finally and he said "idk I'm tired" he said he was on his way home and just wanted to get home. I told him that I'll talk to him another time. I was hurt that he didn't even text me back saying he was finally off but I found it weird that he was answering my phone calls but ignoring my text.

 

I didn't hear from him the next day at all. So I finally seen him out with friends maybe some days later and he was all over me. One of the main things that bugged me about being with him is that he was always inconsistent. He's really cool one day and mean another. I want to tell him that I don't want games and that if he's looking to hurt me then just back off because I'm looking for something real. I don't want to feel like I'm chasing him but he seems so nonchalant. If I ignore him he does EVERYTHING to get my attention or get me to come and talk with him again.

 

Is it a terrible idea to message him and be honest and just put it all out there exactly how I feel?? I mean that I'm not into games and id like to be left alone if that's what he's doing

[Grumpybutfun]

Men like a chase. When we get chased, we lose interest. Except when we are exceptionally into someone. He isn't THAT into you. Move on and find someone who is consistent and doesn't make you guess or jump through hoops.

Best,

Grumps

[Qboro90]

Calling him at midnight and then wanting him to call you at 2am is excessive on your part. Texting his co workers to see when they got out so then you will know if he got out as well comes off really desperate so you need to back off significantly. He hugged you and told you he missed you and immediately you go back into gf mode wanting to know why he hasn't called you and when are you going to hang out. If all he has to do is say a few nice things for you to jump right back in then what is there to motivate him to earn you back?

 

As soon as he told you he had to work overtime you should've said "ok no prob, don't worry about hanging out later, you'll prolly get out late so just text me tomorrow and we'll figure something out". Instead you were unrealistically optimistic about still seeing him after he worked an extra long day and didn't get home until 2am. What exactly did you want him to do? He's working, leave him alone.