180 degree flip in a matter of days

[UltimaWeapon]

You said that this girl has control and power issues. So your actions have given her all the power and control and she's getting off on it. If I were you I would go no contact and see what happens. It's going to be tough but it will give you a better idea of what kind of person she is. If she doesn't reach out to you then she clearly isn't the kind of girl you want to make your gf. Personally the fact that she didn't jump for joy and say Yes when you asked her out and it led to all of this would tell me that this girl is going to be trouble in the long run.

 

By not contacting her it will give you back some control over how things go. I know how it can be when dating a girl like this and distancing yourself and making it seem like you're totally fine and dandy will drive her absolutely nuts and she'll come back. And if she doesn't, then you know you dodged a bullet by dating her bc she doesn't give a crap about you.

 

If she does contact you and wants to talk then just say "listen i was expecting a different reaction from you that day and it took me by surprise and I reacted regrettably. I know we both got upset and said some stupid things so let's just move past it". Can even say that the reason you asked her that day was because you had been thinking how incredible it is when you're together and it just felt right to do. Her reaction made you question her mindset and that's completely unexpected to you so now you just want to know where she stands.

 

Now if she wants to talk about the relationship or where you stand then straight up say "Simple question...I like you, and want to be with you... Do you like me and want to be with me?".... If it's not a "yes" answer and she goes off on a more detailed explanation then she doesn't wanna date you and you know that for sure otherwise she would do whatever it takes to smooth things out and be official with you.

 

 

She wants to still talk normally with me and text and everything but states she has too much going on and when I ask about us- she said it stresses her out. She is moving near me August 1st and I don't know how to approach this situation anymore - she does not want to fix anything between us in terms of the argument and even states- " I stuck around 2 more months while you can't even wait 9-10 days" She is playing this waiting game with me and I dono how to react to it.

 

I am conflicted in terms of how I feel towards her now too- its been 15 days since the argument and she has no made attempt to fix anything just kept me in limbo the entire time.

 

I don't even know if I truly want her at this point after all this stuff that she has done and how she played this situation out. I feel pretty shocked and taken back and it hurts a lot but at the same time I realized like her behavior is unacceptable.

 

I feel the longer we don't talk the worse the situation becomes- because its OVER AN ARGUMENT like how stupid and childish is it?? It's not like we had some crazy falling out or some really big issues at hand here- this is why its hard for me to grasp the concept that it's truly over this argument-

 

like why continue to see me for 6 months if this will get in between us- I don't understand?

 

Its day 2 of NC - and I don't know how to approach this- Do I still continue talking to her or do I just pull away completely and not contact her anymore at all - I feel like the longer we go without talking the worse it becomes- but at the same time talking to her hasn't done anything the past 15 days either....

Edited July 20, 2015 by UltimaWeapon

[UltimaWeapon]

I feel kinda played by her at the same time because I feel like she was waiting for me to make the move so she could reject it. It's like she has resentment towards me for telling her we are rushing into things right now - I don't want to go to quickly into a relationship I want to continue seeing you and taking it from there. We are heading in that direction- I just need time- and she really doesn't understand that in 5 years this was the closest I got to a real relationship- past 6 months with her. Considering all the crap I went through in the past I needed time to let her in. That's why it was hard for me to open up and when I finally did- because that is what she wanted all along.

 

 

she just started throwing excuses after excuses at me-you don't do that to someone you wanted to be with this entire time...

 

You gave me 2 months to doubt you and us?? So basically she changed her mind?? like?? But continued to see me this entire time and everything was okay??

 

Who is to say this wouldn't have happened if I got into one with her. " I was gona say yes but u reacted"

 

IM SO ANNOYED WITH THIS AND HOW CHILDISH THIS ALL IS- im 24!!!!! I don't need to deal with these games

[UltimaWeapon]

I am day 4 of NO CONTACT. I am having a really hard time dealing with this - even though I have been through this on many occasions before especially after a 4.5 year relationship ending. I don't know why but I am having a really hard time doing this. I hate waiting and ignoring and I just want to fix the situation between us and not wait anymore its been 16 days. She is movin 3 mins from me in August first. Does anyone have any ideas on what I should do??

 

 

She just doesn't want to deal with our situation and keeps saying shes stressed over everything. She keeps saying how she waited around for me and how I can't wait for her now??

 

I am literally changing my views and mind every few hours on where I stand and how I feel.

 

I told her before I was going to get her a nice house warming gift- a drawing of something she really likes for her room- Should I still do this (while maintaining no contact?) and ask to give it to her or ask to meet up so I can give it to her or should I just disappear completely???

 

I feel like I am chasing her too much doing this- but my feelings I can't hide or act like I don't care at this point- I really want to fix things because its ending over a stupid reason

 

This is so emotionally draining and emotionally painful I dono what I can do to make it stop- I can't get my mind off it at all.

 

Any advice???

Edited July 22, 2015 by UltimaWeapon

[UltimaWeapon]

Is there something else going on that I don't know about?

 

 

Why would she sleep over- and continue seeing me and be with me on Canada day and come over 3 days later to be together if after this argument she just does not want to fix anything?

 

Is she using this argument to hide something else from me? How can you be that angry/upset after 17 days over me yelling at her? I even sent her flowers...Does anyone have any advice or know why she is behaving like this?

[Redhead14]

Is there something else going on that I don't know about?

 

 

Why would she sleep over- and continue seeing me and be with me on Canada day and come over 3 days later to be together if after this argument she just does not want to fix anything?

 

Is she using this argument to hide something else from me? How can you be that angry/upset after 17 days over me yelling at her? I even sent her flowers...Does anyone have any advice or know why she is behaving like this?

 

Does anyone have any advice or know why she is behaving like this? -- It doesn't matter why. This is hurting YOU. Move on.

 

The real question has now become, Why are you behaving the way you are? Why would you work so hard for very little?

[UltimaWeapon]

Ok, she asked for exclusivity before you became intimate, you didn't want to be exclusive, and she became intimate with you anyway? That's a classic bumble by a woman who wants a relationship or a particular stage of a relationship, finds out the guy isn't on that page and then proceeds anyway because she's hoping he'll change his mind. In this case, you did. She's not trying to get back at you. She's confused and needs to see that you are serious about this now.

 

If you're still invested in her enough, I think you should hit the reset button, so to speak. Continue to date her in a way that demonstrates your intent so that it becomes clearer to her. Have some patience and don't force the issue.

 

 

The problem is she does not want to fix anything or see me after that argument- it has been 17 days she has just been avoiding it. Stating she is really stressed out with moving soon and everything else and does not want to deal with all this now. She wants to chill out- I don't understand though- if she truly cared about how I FELT she would at least take some time out to see me so I know we can move past this. She just does not want too- I can't even continue to see her or date her at this point because she is not doing anything to want to fix the situation.

 

I find it very hard to believe that over this argument her feelings flip flopped like that- problem is everything before was great - there were no issues at all- we spent Canada day together- she slept over- she even came 3 days later to see me again- she knew I was going to ask her the question.

 

I apologized several times and asked to see her in person - I also sent her flowers to show her I was truly sorry- none of those things meant anything to her.

 

How am I suppose to fix this situation if she won't compromise- she is doing everything on her TERMS and keeps saying- I waited for you 2 months and you can't wait for me now?? Like why is she playing these games??

 

She just started attacking me and giving me excuses when I asked her to be with me- Like I don't get it- why continue seeing me for almost 6 months if you are going to start stating all these random reasons against me. Her behavior makes absolutely no sense. She knew it was heading in that direction.

 

She literally told me I wana lay low for the next 2-3 weeks- on top of the 10 days I haven't seen her. I am like why? shes like because my parents don't want me to see you right now - and I don't want to lie to them. Am I with a 12 year old??

 

I am 24 shes 21- and shes pulling the parents excuse on me too?

 

I pulled away and its going to be 5 days now of NO CONTACT

Edited July 23, 2015 by UltimaWeapon

[Redhead14]

The problem is she does not want to fix anything or see me after that argument- it has been 17 days she has just been avoiding it. <snip>

How am I suppose to fix this situation if she won't compromise- she is doing everything on her TERMS and keeps saying- I waited for you 2 months and you can't wait for me now?? Like why is she playing these games??

 

She just started attacking me and giving me excuses when I asked her to be with me- Like I don't get it- why continue seeing me for almost 6 months if you are going to start stating all these random reasons against me. Her behavior makes absolutely no sense. She knew it was heading in that direction.

 

She literally told me I wana lay low for the next 2-3 weeks- on top of the 10 days I haven't seen her. I am like why? shes like because my parents don't want me to see you right now - and I don't want to lie to them. Am I with a 12 year old??

 

I am 24 shes 21- and shes pulling the parents excuse on me too?

 

I pulled away and its going to be 5 days now of NO CONTACT

 

You can't fix anything. It doesn't matter if she knew where it was heading. She doesn't want it NOW. She is a child, she can't be direct with you.

 

You are not pulling away from her, she's already pulled away from you. Stay no contact permanently.

Edited July 23, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Empyrea]

Keep up with the no contact!! Whatever she's on the fence about, she needs to figure it out for herself, there's nothing you can do to really sway her. So just give her time, feel free to move on in the meantime, if you prefer. In fact, showing her that you're also fine without her, might make her realize what she's possibly missing out on. I wouldn't force the issue any further, at least for now.

[darkchocolatecherry]

From a girl's point of view, I think you both messed up. But I think things can be fixed. I think both of you have power struggle issues and one of you has to put that problem aside.

 

Do you really like her? Is she worth throwing away your pride for? Figure that out first.

 

If you do really like her and still want to be with her, I think you should contact her one last time. Write her an email or call her. Or hell, send her a long text.

 

In this message, tell her why you like her and why you want to be with her. Tell her why you waited so long (something along the lines of "I've jumped into a bad relationship before and got very hurt. I never doubted the fact that I likes you from the beginning, but I had already decided that for my next relationship, I wanted to really figure out if I was compatible with someone before I made anything official. I didn't want to foolishly act on infatuation." Something like that to reassure her that it wasn't because you had doubts about HER.). Then, tell her that you would love to hear from her once she has made up her mind about you and that you miss her very much, but you will NOT BE CONTACTING HER ANYMORE unless you hear from her because you don't want to force her into anything she isn't ready for. Then resume no contact. This will clear up all misunderstandings and get rid of any power play going on. If she is truly not interested in you, then you won't ever hear from her again and the problem will be solved.

[darkchocolatecherry]

I feel like this game of no contact is really stressing you out. It is probably stressing her out too. It isn't worth the emotional rollercoaster. If you tell her that you'd love to hear from her and that you want to be with her but you won't be contacting her anymore because you don't want to push her into somethig she isn't ready for, you put the ball in her court, and you can relax knowing that you did everything possible. While waiting for her to reply, go ahead and feel free to move on after a reasonable period of time. Don't wait too long for her. A girl who truly likes you and cares about you won't wait for very long to contact you after you send her a message like that, because she knows that if she doesn't act, you won't be reaching out to her. As a girl very close to her in age, I can understand why she reacted the way she did, but if I really liked a guy and knew that he would move on if I continued to play games with him, I would get my act together really fast.

[UltimaWeapon]

From a girl's point of view, I think you both messed up. But I think things can be fixed. I think both of you have power struggle issues and one of you has to put that problem aside.

 

Do you really like her? Is she worth throwing away your pride for? Figure that out first.

 

If you do really like her and still want to be with her, I think you should contact her one last time. Write her an email or call her. Or hell, send her a long text.

 

In this message, tell her why you like her and why you want to be with her. Tell her why you waited so long (something along the lines of "I've jumped into a bad relationship before and got very hurt. I never doubted the fact that I likes you from the beginning, but I had already decided that for my next relationship, I wanted to really figure out if I was compatible with someone before I made anything official. I didn't want to foolishly act on infatuation." Something like that to reassure her that it wasn't because you had doubts about HER.). Then, tell her that you would love to hear from her once she has made up her mind about you and that you miss her very much, but you will NOT BE CONTACTING HER ANYMORE unless you hear from her because you don't want to force her into anything she isn't ready for. Then resume no contact. This will clear up all misunderstandings and get rid of any power play going on. If she is truly not interested in you, then you won't ever hear from her again and the problem will be solved.

 

My last message to her was essentially that on Saturday. I just told her I am not closing the door on this- I feel like your making a huge mistake and if you need time to take it and if you want to revisit this- especially because you are moving near me- you know where I stand and what I want.

 

She replied with Ok. I understand

[UltimaWeapon]

I feel like this game of no contact is really stressing you out. It is probably stressing her out too. It isn't worth the emotional rollercoaster. If you tell her that you'd love to hear from her and that you want to be with her but you won't be contacting her anymore because you don't want to push her into somethig she isn't ready for, you put the ball in her court, and you can relax knowing that you did everything possible. While waiting for her to reply, go ahead and feel free to move on after a reasonable period of time. Don't wait too long for her. A girl who truly likes you and cares about you won't wait for very long to contact you after you send her a message like that, because she knows that if she doesn't act, you won't be reaching out to her. As a girl very close to her in age, I can understand why she reacted the way she did, but if I really liked a guy and knew that he would move on if I continued to play games with him, I would get my act together really fast.

 

I am having a really tough time just waiting- not knowing what is going to happen- why she suddenly is doing this. I feel like its to get back at me- everything was fine until I asked her to be together- literally everything was smooth- she slept over on Canada day- we talked normally- she came over 3 days later again- and now suddenly after I asked her that question its like the roles reversed and she now knows what I want and is not giving it to me on purpose. She even mentioned a few times how she waited for me and how I can't wait for her now? I don't get it- why would I wait when she wanted this all along?

 

She even said- I don't want to be too easy- I threw myself at you- you put in no effort- like how is that my fault?? You wanted this all along and you were with me the past 6 months - why is this all an issue now??

 

I feel like if maybe my sister messaged her- because she wanted too (to give another perspective) to all this it might push things forward- as in like get ur act together- ur gona lose him if you continue this sort of thing- I know I cant message her anymore or try anything because I said what I said- but my sister reaching out to her was an option I was thinking of doing- What do you think about that? Basically she would tell her and re assure her how I care about her and I just want to fix things, etc and its always been her. n for her to basically stop acting like this and pushing me away or she will lose me.

 

I feel like shes taking me for granted now and thinks I will wait around for her...

 

What do you think about that?

Edited July 23, 2015 by UltimaWeapon

[UltimaWeapon]

Can someone explain to me why she said she was pushing me away so that she could miss me? Was this her trying to manipulate the situation more?

 

and also another thing

 

It isn't a normal response to start giving excuses when I asked to be exclusive- this is what boggles my mind. She continued seeing me and hanging out and everything- but when I asked her that question it's like she had resentment because I did not want a relationship that quickly when she did and did it on impulse rather than anything.

 

Like I really don't understand if she truly cared about me- why would she put me through all this?

 

The reason I am so stressed out over this is because she has essentially flipped it all on me and made me seem like the bad guy for yelling- like I didn't kill anyone. I yelled at her and showed her how I felt about her stupid excuses when I asked her that question- and now she makes it feel like its my fault for all this and I hate this feeling that I have- its so uneasy and I can't shake it off- the past 18 days I just wanted to see her so we can put this behind us and she couldn't do it.

Edited July 23, 2015 by UltimaWeapon

[darkchocolatecherry]

First of all, do not get your sister to talk to her. This is something you two need to figure out on your own. If your sister gets involved, she will feel pressured.

 

I don't know if she is just doing this to get back at you. She could be honestly confused about whether to move forwards with you after you yelled at her. Yes, it was one argument, but one argument can change her perception of you quite a bit.

 

The key thing now is nobody knows what is going on in her head. There is no need to speculate, that gets us nowhere.

 

Now if she *were* doing this to get back to you, try to understand that it is because she is hurt. She is hurt that you got mad and she was hurt you made her cry, along with the fact that her ego was probably bruised because you took a long to to ask her to be your gf. Hence, please DO NOT be aggressive about this in anyway. Do not ever tell her she is making a mistake (because that just makes you sound arrogant). Do not ever call her childish. Do not tell her that you will be moving on.

 

I'm not saying you should be spineless and kiss ass either. You just need to be very kind and very firm. I know you already messaged her last week, but I don't think it can hurt anyone for you to message her one more time, saying that you really care about her but you UNDERSTAND if she wants to move on, and that you will no longer be reaching out because you want to RESPECT her space and give her time.

 

Then move on.

 

 

I think that after such a long period of no contact, who knows if she is actually bluffing. Maybe she really doesn't think you two are good together.

 

If anything, in the future, please try to be more understanding. I think your lack of understanding and quick assumption that she is playing games with you probably showed through your acts with her AFTER the fight. She probably was put off by it and questioned your character and arrogance and all of that.

 

 

I'm not saying you are completely in the wrong. She is in the wrong too. Either way, the best thing to do is to let go of all your assumptions about her and move on. Like I said, if she likes you, she'll come around. If she comes around too late, you may already by over it. No matter what, do not threaten her about moving on if she doesn't change her mind. Just give her space and do your own thing.

[UltimaWeapon]

First of all, do not get your sister to talk to her. This is something you two need to figure out on your own. If your sister gets involved, she will feel pressured.

 

I don't know if she is just doing this to get back at you. She could be honestly confused about whether to move forwards with you after you yelled at her. Yes, it was one argument, but one argument can change her perception of you quite a bit.

 

The key thing now is nobody knows what is going on in her head. There is no need to speculate, that gets us nowhere.

 

Now if she *were* doing this to get back to you, try to understand that it is because she is hurt. She is hurt that you got mad and she was hurt you made her cry, along with the fact that her ego was probably bruised because you took a long to to ask her to be your gf. Hence, please DO NOT be aggressive about this in anyway. Do not ever tell her she is making a mistake (because that just makes you sound arrogant). Do not ever call her childish. Do not tell her that you will be moving on.

 

I'm not saying you should be spineless and kiss ass either. You just need to be very kind and very firm. I know you already messaged her last week, but I don't think it can hurt anyone for you to message her one more time, saying that you really care about her but you UNDERSTAND if she wants to move on, and that you will no longer be reaching out because you want to RESPECT her space and give her time.

 

Then move on.

 

 

I think that after such a long period of no contact, who knows if she is actually bluffing. Maybe she really doesn't think you two are good together.

 

If anything, in the future, please try to be more understanding. I think your lack of understanding and quick assumption that she is playing games with you probably showed through your acts with her AFTER the fight. She probably was put off by it and questioned your character and arrogance and all of that.

 

 

I'm not saying you are completely in the wrong. She is in the wrong too. Either way, the best thing to do is to let go of all your assumptions about her and move on. Like I said, if she likes you, she'll come around. If she comes around too late, you may already by over it. No matter what, do not threaten her about moving on if she doesn't change her mind. Just give her space and do your own thing.

 

I just don't get how this whole argument has changed her towards me that quickly. It doesn't add up- yes I yelled, yes I made her cry but it was our first fight in 6 months. She doesn't seem like she can handle conflict or any of that. That would mean any argument would result in it ending. its been 18 days how much time do you need to get over an argument?

 

Like she has completely shut me out after this as if I am the only one in the wrong- we have been seeing each other 6 months and than out of nowhere she shuts me out for 18 days now( without seeing me in person) we kept in contact through texting and calls but its been 5 days no contact now..

 

 

She keeps saying after the argument she doesn't think she feels the same way anymore?? lol

 

" It's easy for you to say these sweet things but It's hard for me to just forget about what happened and how it all went down" - I don't know if she is being genuine or just using this fight to extend and make me wait on purpose.

 

like you cant meet up with me as an adult to discuss all of this? You can't meet up in person and try to fix it? You have to avoid and hide?

 

and not only that she is moving 3 mins from me August 1st, 2015- like why is she doing this??

Edited July 24, 2015 by UltimaWeapon

[darkchocolatecherry]

She's doing this because you told her to not give BS excuses about why she doesn't want to be your gf and you told her she wanted it ever since you guys started.

 

Your arrogance during that one fight made you act like you couldn't believe that she wouldn't want you. It showed that you did indeed feel like the relationship was sure thing. Even now, you can't accept that it isn't a sure thing.

 

That wasn't just one argument. That argument probably made her rethink your character. Arrogance is one of the ugliest traits.

 

If you had just backed down when she first questioned why you were only asking now, this whole thing may have been salvaged. If you had calmly explained to her the reasons why you were asking after 5 months and told her you understood that she wasn't ready, things may be different.

 

Instead you blew up at her. You couldn't take no for an answer. Do you know off putting that is?

 

So when she says "I waited months for you. You can't even wait days for me?" she isn't playing games. She is genuinely questioning your character. And she probably still is. So let her.

 

That is why she is acting this way.

[darkchocolatecherry]

Feelings don't usually die immediately. But if her logical side is worried about your character, no matter how strong her feelings are, she may decide it isn't a good idea to date you.

 

 

Not saying that you are an arrogant or horrible person. That isn't what I mean at all. I'm just saying that she may feel this way after the argument. It wasn't just a simple disagreement.

[UltimaWeapon]

She's doing this because you told her to not give BS excuses about why she doesn't want to be your gf and you told her she wanted it ever since you guys started.

 

Your arrogance during that one fight made you act like you couldn't believe that she wouldn't want you. It showed that you did indeed feel like the relationship was sure thing. Even now, you can't accept that it isn't a sure thing.

 

That wasn't just one argument. That argument probably made her rethink your character. Arrogance is one of the ugliest traits.

 

If you had just backed down when she first questioned why you were only asking now, this whole thing may have been salvaged. If you had calmly explained to her the reasons why you were asking after 5 months and told her you understood that she wasn't ready, things may be different.

 

Instead you blew up at her. You couldn't take no for an answer. Do you know off putting that is?

 

So when she says "I waited months for you. You can't even wait days for me?" she isn't playing games. She is genuinely questioning your character. And she probably still is. So let her.

 

That is why she is acting this way.

 

I understand what you are trying to say- that all makes sense. The thing is I reacted AFTER her excuses not during. I let her finish what she had to say- at that moment I felt it was a flat out rejection- which did not make sense because she was telling my friends a few days ago she was waiting for me to make the move- she slept over at my place- held my hand and kissed me in public- that is why AFTER all her excuses. I got mad and started yelling and basically reacted the way I did because of how out of nowhere that all was.

 

I agree I shouldn't have reacted- but I mean anyone in that situation would feel the same way. I felt like she was taking me for a fool and playing games- I am a very patient person and I only react if something really pushes my buttons. It was a moment of weakness on my end but its because I care a lot about her and never expected that coming from her.

 

 

 

* She knew I was going to ask her this the night before*

 

Her excuses were:

- Why now?

- Why should I when you want to get into a rel?

- I made it too easy

- You didn't wine and dine me

- You put in no effort- I threw myself at you

- I took the thought of us in a relationship 2 months ago- this is all new to me now???? I did not think about it since I asked you if you wanted to be in one and you said you didn't want to rush

- I was going with the flow and you panicked me now

- You want to take my freedom away

- You didn't want to meet my parents yet

 

 

You don't say these things after 5 months of seeing each other- KNOWING SHE WANTED TO BE WITH ME ENTIRE TIME. That is why I reacted the way I did. Do you get where I am coming from? There was no YES-

it was all reasons that she can't - it was a flat out rejection- out of spite? on purpose? I don't know...

 

and not only that she tells me I WAS GONA SAY YES TO YOU BUT BECAUSE YOU REACTED I DIDN'T...I REACTED AFTER! she is trying to save face

Edited July 24, 2015 by UltimaWeapon

[UltimaWeapon]

Feelings don't usually die immediately. But if her logical side is worried about your character, no matter how strong her feelings are, she may decide it isn't a good idea to date you.

 

 

Not saying that you are an arrogant or horrible person. That isn't what I mean at all. I'm just saying that she may feel this way after the argument. It wasn't just a simple disagreement.

 

Thank you for your replies- I greatly appreciate it. I just am also confused now because of how she handled this entire situation - where I even stand and why I would still want this to be fixed and a relationship from it. I mean if she can not see me for 18 days after all this..that says a lot too..doesn't matter how " hurt" she is...something ain't right...

[UltimaWeapon]

So she texted me last night...saying " Hi...I see you"

I was downtown at a patio outside and she saw me- she was in line with her friends at some other bar. We talked for like a minute or two before she had to go...I am literally even more confused now. I told her when I saw her in person that I was sorry for what happened - and shes like you don't have to apologize in person you did already. She said shes moving in a week and that she was excited and she said shes out wit her friends to go dancing- she had to go inside and that's pretty much how it ended.

 

I don't how to approach this situation anymore...I feel like I am getting pushed and pulled in all directions. It's having a huge toll on my emotions

 

She was incredibly nervous seeing me last night- its like she couldn't calm down.

 

She even said - I wasn't going to avoid you if I saw you I wanted to let you know I did.

 

What am I suppose to do? she is moving in a week. Should I talk to her about last night or ignore?

 

I feel like she could have easily ignored that she saw me - and not text- Why text that she saw me to talk for a minute or two and than go? I understand she was with her friends and didn't want to keep them waiting but I feel like shes playing around with me completely...

Edited July 25, 2015 by UltimaWeapon

[UltimaWeapon]

My sister also ended up messaging her to hear her side of the story and they had a convo- basically she said things might change when she moves and she settles in- but right now she is focusing on herself and is overwhelmed with everything that happened and wants me to just relax and take it easy.

 

and than she goes and messages me at night that she saw me?

[NopeNah]

You're being played big time. She's off doing whatever she pleases and here you are,still confused by it. Get on with your life and stop waiting around for her.

[IronZ]

My sister also ended up messaging her to hear her side of the story and they had a convo- basically she said things might change when she moves and she settles in- but right now she is focusing on herself and is overwhelmed with everything that happened and wants me to just relax and take it easy.

 

and than she goes and messages me at night that she saw me?

 

You got your answer there. She was overwhelmed with everything. You saw her in line outside a bar/club with her friends, right? What do you think girls do at places like this? They go and drink their asses off and hit the dance floor and maybe try to pick up guys. She's out living her life and enjoying it, meanwhile you are still overthinking everything.

 

This is coming from a guy who tends to overthink everything myself, so trust me. You should move on. She certainly has.

[UltimaWeapon]

She has since moved to her new place near me- I have tried to reach out and see her in person so we could talk about this situation 1 on 1 without texting/phone because we haven't been able too at all since the argument happened. She just keeps avoiding the situation-. She is acting like a complete B**** towards me at this point- we have been seeing each other EXCLUSIVELY the past 6 months and in little less than a month she manages to completely go 180 on me in terms of her feelings. I tried to reach out and set a time to see her but all she gives me is "IDK YET" " WHY do you want to meet up?" " What are we going to do?" She told me her feelings are still there but shes making them fade away and I asked her why r you doing that if you have feelings for me?

 

She replied with :

 

" I didn't like who you were that day of the argument, some of the things you said and your perspective on some things"

 

And apparently that is enough to not want to fix our situation and avoid continuously.

 

 

We were suppose to meet up today and hangout and just talk about everything- she told me she would let me know- I asked her the previous day if we were still on for today her replies were " IDK YET..im really tired..barley got any sleep this weekend. I have to meet up wit parents, do groceries, clean my room, set things up" and you are not my #1 priority right now.

 

I love how she is just playing games and making me wait knowing I want to see her now- its def feeding her ego.

 

I have decided to walk away indefinitely because she just does not want to compromise or make any effort. I have done all I can.

 

 

The fact that she is literally down the street from me is killing me..

 

We literally would talk all day everyday for the past 6 months- constant texting or phone calls and it never died out until the argument happened- now shes suddenly completely different towards me in less than a month.

 

Should I tell her im done and im walking away (some sort of final text message- stating I have tried reaching out and did all I can and im done for good ....or should I just disappear??

 

I have been back to NC now for 1 day

 

I feel like telling her I don't want to be with her or fix things at this point either- something along the lines of- based on ur behavior the past month I can conclude that you avoid confrontation, you are immature, you play games and I don't need to be with someone like that. I tried to reach out several times and you would just avoid. I want someone who will make me a priority in their life and not someone who flip flops their feelings for me when its convenient. My perspective of you has changed completely and its best we leave it at that. This is my final message to you. etc...

Edited August 4, 2015 by UltimaWeapon

[UltimaWeapon]

I really did try to salvage this relationship as best as I could but I can't do everything. She just tried to avoid everything and essentially ghosted the situation completely by avoiding to meet up in person to discuss the issue.

 

It really could have been avoided- but she just caused way too much drama and extended this farther than it really needed to go.

 

I am suspecting that there is someone else in the picture for her to behave like this (based on my past experiences)

 

I have done all I could- I just have to walk away now- if she comes back she comes back but even if she does - She has basically killed all my feelings for her even though a part of me still wants her- I know after all this that she has some serious issues with relationships and commitment and in general ways to express herself

 

I feel like she just doesn't know what she wants and thinks shes serious and mature when in reality- at 21 based on how she handled all this- she has no clue what she is doing. She basically wasted my time the last 6 months and I had a feeling that I couldn't take her seriously and she wasn't relationship material at the beginning but I did not think it would come to this level..I did not want to use that against her or hold it against her because of her inexperience but I see now that it is a big deal.

 

The constant excuses:

 

ur pressuring me now- ur suffocating me now- all this stuff its just pathetic on her end

Edited August 4, 2015 by UltimaWeapon