How do you get out of your own head?

[The Poster]

For years now I have struggled with perfectionism. Both with myself and my surroundings. While there are positives to perfectionism, the negatives far outweigh them. I tend to lock myself down with feelings of inadequacy or not being good enough. Worse of all, there's a lack of peace that is devastating.

 

Deep inside of me though, I know it's ridiculous, and I know I am good enough. I know my surroundings are good enough. Deep down I know I have plenty of good to offer people around me both socially and romantically...despite not being perfect.

 

So, how do I get out of my own way? How do I break the chains? I find myself living in solitude way more than I should. Way more than I want to. Yet, often times I rather do something alone than with others. I feel like I can improve myself and my life so much if I could figure out how to break through...yet I feel stuck.

 

How do I just...do it? How do I just say "screw it, I'm great" and get out there? I feel like I'm so close, yet I can't muscle through.

[StalwartMind]

A balance of acceptance and maintaining standards you have. You will practically always be able to improve anything, so in that sense you'll never perfect what you are trying to, however you can ensure that nothing within your control drops below the expected threshold.

 

If one is constantly striving for the unachievable, then you are actually chasing something which isn't there in the first place. While I completely understand the mentality, it is on some level a bit ridiculous, just as you said yourself. Being restless or not finding peace will always make you feel unsettled until you learn to accept and be alright with that which is "less".

 

There is nothing wrong with aiming for the best in life, I actually think that's a healthy mentality, but one does need to be realistic too. You more than likely are very close to being where you need to be, almost in the sense you are standing on the one side of a thin wall, you practically just need to breakthrough in order to reach a place where you will be completely happy.

 

I don't know what works for others, but to me everything is a matter of how strongly you feel about something, the desire to improve it and when to let go of something. There are an endless amount of things I wish would be better around the world, but in the end we can't influence everything. So it comes down to choices and standing by decisions, because remaining inactive rarely leads to new or better results.

“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.” - Theodore Roosevelt

 

How do you do it? You start by doing something, even the initial wrong path can lead you to the right one. You are the only one who is capable of taking you there, the rest of us can only hope that in some way we may of aided you in getting there, even if our advice/perspective/help was wrong. Our mind really is our best/worst friend, but if you take control then you have all the capability to reach a better place in the world, both physically and mentally.

[The Poster]

A balance of acceptance and maintaining standards you have. You will practically always be able to improve anything, so in that sense you'll never perfect what you are trying to, however you can ensure that nothing within your control drops below the expected threshold.

 

If one is constantly striving for the unachievable, then you are actually chasing something which isn't there in the first place. While I completely understand the mentality, it is on some level a bit ridiculous, just as you said yourself. Being restless or not finding peace will always make you feel unsettled until you learn to accept and be alright with that which is "less".

 

There is nothing wrong with aiming for the best in life, I actually think that's a healthy mentality, but one does need to be realistic too. You more than likely are very close to being where you need to be, almost in the sense you are standing on the one side of a thin wall, you practically just need to breakthrough in order to reach a place where you will be completely happy.

 

I don't know what works for others, but to me everything is a matter of how strongly you feel about something, the desire to improve it and when to let go of something. There are an endless amount of things I wish would be better around the world, but in the end we can't influence everything. So it comes down to choices and standing by decisions, because remaining inactive rarely leads to new or better results.

“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.” - Theodore Roosevelt

 

How do you do it? You start by doing something, even the initial wrong path can lead you to the right one. You are the only one who is capable of taking you there, the rest of us can only hope that in some way we may of aided you in getting there, even if our advice/perspective/help was wrong. Our mind really is our best/worst friend, but if you take control then you have all the capability to reach a better place in the world, both physically and mentally.

 

Thank you so very much for your words of wisdom. I need to start with a single step and see where each steps leads.