Fuzzymuzzy Posted May 9, 2005 Share Posted May 9, 2005 Do u think you are more likely to get back with someone u have kids with? I know from experience that I am more attached to my son's mother than anyother woman I have ever been with. Is it the same for women? Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted May 9, 2005 Share Posted May 9, 2005 I have 2 Kids with My EX and there isn't any single way in hell I would ever be back with him... LOL Sorry.. could just be me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fuzzymuzzy Posted May 9, 2005 Author Share Posted May 9, 2005 What was your situation with him like ?? Link to post Share on other sites
heart2heart Posted May 16, 2005 Share Posted May 16, 2005 I don't think that a couple that have kids are any more likely to reconnect, than a couple that didn't have kids. Couples are more likely to reconnect, if there was ever 'true love' involved, there are strong feelings still there, they realise they can't live without one another, etc, etc, kids involved or not. Like Merin I have a child with an ex and it'd be a cold day in hell before I took him back. He is the father of my child, yes, but that is all he is, we are bonded because of our child, nothing more, nothing less. I could cut the ties quite easily with him if it was up to me, however because of our daughter I can't. Yet another ex with whom I didn't have kids, I'd take him back in a flash, he means one helluva lot more to me than the father of my child does, always has done, always will. This guy was the love of my life. Just because we may have kids to a guy/girl, doesn't make this guy/girl automatically that *special* one in our lives. I guess that a lot of ppl of whose current partners have a child with another woman/man, will be glad to hear that. Link to post Share on other sites
Bubsa Posted May 16, 2005 Share Posted May 16, 2005 Like you Fuzzymuzzy I don't believe I could ever feel love the same way for any other woman than I do for my sons Mother. In fact probally was one of the reason I split with me ex was I thought that I did not love her (Partly because I dit not feel a bond as strong as I have got with my 2 year old Son) but was with her because of my child. Got all confused so I dumped her and now spend most of my time thinking of ways to get her back. I am a decent looking bloke and have had chances to date other women but i spend most of the time comparing them to her. Dunno I might still be at the hurting stage and not redy to move on. But I don't believe I could feel for any women what i do for her. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted May 16, 2005 Share Posted May 16, 2005 Not at all. I tried to work things out because I was in love and of course, I used my kids as an excuse. However, wo little babies were not a good enough reason for my ex to leave us. Thank god he did! Four years after we split (two after the divorce) I can't even imagine getting back with him. I'd rather live as a nun than be with him. Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted May 16, 2005 Share Posted May 16, 2005 Originally posted by Fuzzymuzzy What was your situation with him like ?? We were married, he wanted an open marriage.. I wasn't all about it. He didn't want to get divorced BUT he didn't want to keep it in his pants. I divorced him and have never looked back. I don't miss him. It doesn't bother me to see him with someone else more liked relieved. He isn't a good Dad to My Wee Peeps, he isn't around for them but a few hours during an entire week. When it's *His weekend* with them (which is suppose to be every other) he doesn't take care of them, his MOM does.. and they (My kids) aren't allowed to go to his house. I look at him sometimes and cannot imagine WTF I ever saw in him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fuzzymuzzy Posted May 16, 2005 Author Share Posted May 16, 2005 That its the guys who feel like they need to be with the mother of their kids we feel very much tied to them ( at least the guys I know). I think because I know I'm a very good father, good guy who makes alot of money, and handsome that my ex would be better off with me than with anyone else. I would want the whole package. But you can't change others and my ex is a nut. I even tried to put her through school and told her she didn't have to work if she didn't want to because she had a little girl from a previous relationship. Maybe I was too nice a guy to her when I'm a prick to most people. usually I can't get women to leave me alone, I've had chicks stalk me and all that. So to have a woman that I love not want to be with me kinda was a blow to my confidence although I did break up with her. hmmmmmmmmm Just ranting sorry if no logic to it fuzz man Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fuzzymuzzy Posted May 16, 2005 Author Share Posted May 16, 2005 I don't know if its just the pic or what but you look like a smokin hot lady. I appreciate the info you gave me in the message I wanted to see if I was somehow like your ex but I would say I'm prolly the opposite. Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted May 16, 2005 Share Posted May 16, 2005 Originally posted by Fuzzymuzzy I don't know if its just the pic or what but you look like a smokin hot lady. I appreciate the info you gave me in the message I wanted to see if I was somehow like your ex but I would say I'm prolly the opposite. Thanks, and you're welcome I would sure hope you're different then My EX.. From the sounds of it, you are. Theres a lot to be said for being a good Dad Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted May 16, 2005 Share Posted May 16, 2005 Originally posted by Merin I look at him sometimes and cannot imagine WTF I ever saw in him. Sometimes I wonder how I could've been soooooooooo stupid and self-destructive only 7 years ago. And OMG I tried to keep the ex-husband in my life just 4 years ago. Idiot! Idiot! Idiot! When I think of him now I get . I am so happy he left me. I owe him a lot for that deed! Link to post Share on other sites
dgiirl Posted May 16, 2005 Share Posted May 16, 2005 lol RecordProducer, I want to be you when I grow up! Give me a year, and I hope I'll feel the same way as you do now Fuzzymuzzy, if you broke up with her, have you told her how you feel now? You probably broke her heart. Why would she want to go back to you if you're the one who broke it off? Have you changed? Have you showed her? Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted May 16, 2005 Share Posted May 16, 2005 Dgiirl, it took me a couple of years after we split to get over my ex-husband. After about a year, I realized that he wasn't the right one and that I was very unhappy in the marriage (we lived together for 3 years with many break-ups on his side). I guess at the beginning of the break-up you still idealize your ex then you get more and more sober and finally feel an awful hangover from the relationship. I realized that he was a low class scum who I should've never even looked at, not to mention hook up with. I had a few one-night stands during the two years, but they made me feel even worse. I was chasing after him, humiliating myself, called him in the middle of the night, etc. NC is the best solution in such cases. But I had times when I couldn't stand the pain. Plus he was coming to pick up the kids every day. I got over him completely and all of a sudden when I found another BF. Actually I fell in love online.back then I didn't know that people are not eh same online and in person so I talked to this guy and after a few days I was over my ex. I continued to talk to the guy for 4 months before we met in person. He wasn't what I expected him to be, but I never had the same feelings for my ex again. Link to post Share on other sites
dgiirl Posted May 16, 2005 Share Posted May 16, 2005 Yeah, NC is definitely helping me clear my head and take him off his pedestal. I'm still having my days, but I'm starting to realize he's a jerk. I can see how staying in contact can definitely keep you paralyzed. Thankfully we have no kids. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fuzzymuzzy Posted May 17, 2005 Author Share Posted May 17, 2005 I love the girl to death but she would lie all the time, about where she was, about anything. I broke up with her and she deserved it. But that doesn't mean I don't love her. It just means that I don't want to hurt that bad because I care for someone. I think my life is easier caring about her from a distance. I had to go to court against her and fight to see my son ( which is some total B.S.) but I won and received equal custody (all I asked for from the beginning) and I could have gotten full custody. But I want my son to have a good relationship with his mother too. So we have done some serious stuff to each other and I don't think I want to open myself up to that type of torture again. I think if it is supposed to be then God will put us in a situation later on where both of us are more mature, have more respect for each other and beleive it's meant to be. My situation is made tougher because we only knew each other a month before she was pregnant. I think my boy is here more to keep me from living the life I was living before he was born. Ahhhh....... parenthood. Life, it whips your A** Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted May 17, 2005 Share Posted May 17, 2005 I think the fact that you knew each other only for a month before she got pregnant doesn't change anything now. It's in the past. If you knew each other better, maybe you wouldn't have had a child together, but at this moment it's irrelevant. You broke up because you didn't get along. Some people know each other for years before getting married then split followed by huge disappointments. If you didn't work out once, you might never work again. On the other hand, if there are strong feelings and maturity on both sides, you might be together. It seems that you're not over her yet. But time doesn't run in your favor. Soon you'll both probably be over each other. The child should not be the reason for you to get back together, in my opinion. It has accepted things the way they are, especially if it's little. However if you start living together now, it will have a problem accepting your break-up in the future. Perhaps dating would be a better option than living together until you're completely sure that you're in love, get along well, and want to take the risk of giving it another chance. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fuzzymuzzy Posted May 18, 2005 Author Share Posted May 18, 2005 I do love the girl but I love a girl who constantly hurts me. When she started dating another guy she would rub it in my face and at one point brought the guy to my house. He ended up being a jerk (go figure) who was abusive. So I have a hard time wanting to give anything another try. I sure by now she is dating someone else anyway. Myself I date alot but only to do something not to try and fall in love. If my situation could be right it would be all I want but now after all the lies and bs I'm a little gunshy to put it out there again. I try my best to be nice to her and thats it. This whole thing seems quite juvenile to me she is 22 and I'm 27 I just feel she has alot of wildness in her and I want to settle down so things don't go right I guess. Timing is everything in life and nothing with us. Link to post Share on other sites
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