It's not mine

[sandylee1]

Well he said he wanted the kid so if he wasn't just lying he should sign the paper. But my lawyer told me to immediately call him if the man doesn't want to sign. He also warned me if I do sign the form though, if I decide to stay in the kid life his mom would be able to cut me out of all contact anytime she pleased as I won't been seen as anything to the kid legal wise. So that was some to think about.

 

.

 

This is why you don't want to form a bond with the child as she will use it to manipulate you and try and get you back.

 

BTW I thought birth certificates are given when you register the birth and not in hospital.

[Itwasntme]

This is why you don't want to form a bond with the child as she will use it to manipulate you and try and get you back.

 

BTW I thought birth certificates are given when you register the birth and not in hospital.

 

hospital administrators are the ones who completes it and forward it too State register And that's when they become official. So they should have the forms acknowledging paternity before sending the BC To register. And as for her manipulating you're right and I do have to take that into consideration.

[m.snow]

You have to be seen as aggressive in filing for this divorce and removing yourself from your stbxw life and life of the unborn child.

 

even though the states says that the husband is the presumed father. they will make exceptions only if you have shown to be aggressive in divorcing and removing yourself from the stbxw & childs life.

 

courts give this leeway even though its not written. cause judges are not blind.

 

there are many cases like this that the husband gets off the hook, specially in the southern states like Texas. Good luck to you doing this in Newyork or California, even more so in country of Canada. haha

 

but damn you are so young to have to experience this craap in life.

but what ever happens dude you are a very successful person and no one can take that from you.

 

and to that you are very young and successful, women like that will come out of the wood work to get you. keep both eyes & ears open always.

[Itwasntme]

You have to be seen as aggressive in filing for this divorce and removing yourself from your stbxw life and life of the unborn child.

 

even though the states says that the husband is the presumed father. they will make exceptions only if you have shown to be aggressive in divorcing and removing yourself from the stbxw & childs life.

 

courts give this leeway even though its not written. cause judges are not blind.

 

there are many cases like this that the husband gets off the hook, specially in the southern states like Texas. Good luck to you doing this in Newyork or California, even more so in country of Canada. haha

 

but damn you are so young to have to experience this craap in life.

but what ever happens dude you are a very successful person and no one can take that from you.

 

and to that you are very young and successful, women like that will come out of the wood work to get you. keep both eyes & ears open always.

Thanks m.snow you've been here since early on in the thread. And I'm not really worried about dating because I just don't see myself trusting females after this. Yeah I know there are good ones out there but I just prefer not to go searching for now, I think I will take this as a sign from God and just be alone for a while.

[mrnevi]

im new here just lurking for now searching for answer to

this thread a remarkable journey for this man

this will sound very crazy, why not have a chance with stbxw

she will sign prenup anyway protect you from money problems in the future

you had said wife very beautiful 9. you have nothing to lose cause she will sign prenup.

you earn a lot of money i doubt you would worry about any child support you are not some blue collar worker.

you live away from posom. he cannot get to your wife now. you live far from om.

you can still have your wife without fearing money lost cause of prenup or post nup agreement.

she had work hard to she is accountant.

she show sacrificed her job to be with you.

she left old town to leave om and past behind.

think about it you can still have access to a level 9 P***y.

with out problem since pre-nup.

why not take crazy chance in crazy life, sure beats having normal boring life. spice of life. keeps you on your toes.

think of that level 9 P.

[HurtOfGlass]

Yeah you say let her parents or OM take care of her needs but the truth is neither can, OM is a bum and I be having to help out her parents myself

 

Who do you think you are? Jesus Christ? Her parents cannot take care of her need? They have been taking care of her needs before you came to her life and they can take again.

 

I thought the story of aliveagain will wake you up as to why not form a bond with OC. But it seems you are determined to wreak your own mental destruction.

 

Go Ahead. To each to their own.

[mrnevi]

does the posom know he is the father?

if wife signs prenup or post nup. you can let her stay with you.

you cant still have her but with no more obligations.

you live far from om. if the wife sign nobody in the birth certificate. after 1 year if the om does not seek out the child you can adopt the child.

have you talked to attorney about that 1 year if om does not pick-up child he no longer has any responsibility to the child.

 

i do not think om can afford or go to your new place far away.

your wife has shown some sign of love for you if there are any

1she gave up her job to move with you.

2she had good paying job but still gave it up

3she wants to sign pre-nup

4she was willing to give up the child to be with you(i dont know if that is good thing but shows that she is going to want to be with you what ever it takes.)

5she does not want to be with jobless homeless om.

 

if she sign prenup you control all the cards.

you have all of the benefits but not of the drawbacks.

if the child is with you and far from the om after 1 year. you adopt child.

[Itwasntme]

Who do you think you are? Jesus Christ? Her parents cannot take care of her need? They have been taking care of her needs before you came to her life and they can take again.

 

I thought the story of aliveagain will wake you up as to why not form a bond with OC. But it seems you are determined to wreak your own mental destruction.

 

Go Ahead. To each to their own.

Do I think I'm Jesus Christ? Heavens no, not close but do I feel what I'm doing is right? Yes. And alright I did read alive story but I also read DKT3 story, a instance where a man took a kid as his own at 15!!! And now the boy is in his 20s happily getting married and I bet DKT3 doesn't regret his choice

[DKT3]

Do I think I'm Jesus Christ? Heavens no, not close but do I feel what I'm doing is right? Yes. And alright I did read alive story but I also read DKT3 story, a instance where a man took a kid as his own at 15!!! And now the boy is in his 20s happily getting married and I bet DKT3 doesn't regret his choice

 

I think in fairness, you should understand that I bonded with him thinking he was MY son. Our situations are different, as it was pointed out to me. Its possible to bond with the child, but doing so in your case will require you to look pass the fact that he is a result of betrayal.

 

At the end of the day, you are the one that has to live with the decisions you make here, do what you feel is best for you.

[Itwasntme]

does the posom know he is the father?

if wife signs prenup or post nup. you can let her stay with you.

you cant still have her but with no more obligations.

you live far from om. if the wife sign nobody in the birth certificate. after 1 year if the om does not seek out the child you can adopt the child.

have you talked to attorney about that 1 year if om does not pick-up child he no longer has any responsibility to the child.

 

i do not think om can afford or go to your new place far away.

your wife has shown some sign of love for you if there are any

1she gave up her job to move with you.

2she had good paying job but still gave it up

3she wants to sign pre-nup

4she was willing to give up the child to be with you(i dont know if that is good thing but shows that she is going to want to be with you what ever it takes.)

5she does not want to be with jobless homeless om.

 

if she sign prenup you control all the cards.

you have all of the benefits but not of the drawbacks.

if the child is with you and far from the om after 1 year. you adopt child.

I'm sorry I didn't see your other post so I didn't answer back but now to answer your question

 

-Yes OM knows he's the father

-if it was that easy I would but I hate her right now and can't trust her yet. Just thinking about things they did is enough to enrage me. Ex: she had a threesome with OM and his other babies mother!!! Like yeah I never asked for one but that's because I knew she would never agree to it. She would get mad if I stared at another girl ass or commented on it. So you tell me you wouldn't be mad and there's more stuff.

 

-that's a if he doesn't. If he does then I'm gone

 

1&2. Yeah you can see it as her giving it up for me or her just not wanting to work

3.i don't think she wants to sign it but she is willing

4.this does count for some to me I admit

5. This should be a no brainier. I honestly couldn't understand her thinking with that one. Like I would of at least understood a guy with more money then me, but she went for the attractive no car, no house, two kids already guy who besides look couldn't provide her with anything.

 

I feel as if a postnup is going too soft on her, she would have got her cake and ate it too. I want to set her free so she can go and be with who ever she wants guilt free. If she still wants to chase me after this let that be her choice but I won't be holding her back and vice versa. So as I said idk if we're getting back together but for now I prefer to stay single.

[Itwasntme]

I think in fairness, you should understand that I bonded with him thinking he was MY son. Our situations are different, as it was pointed out to me. Its possible to bond with the child, but doing so in your case will require you to look pass the fact that he is a result of betrayal.

 

At the end of the day, you are the one that has to live with the decisions you make here, do what you feel is best for you.

And see I thank you, because people are forgetting that yes I'm 28 which is young but I'm still a grown man who understands that his actions will Have a positive or negative reaction. And I'm not going to say I'm fully ready but I'm getting there.

 

And so DKT3 tell me if you was to go back in time and know what you know now would you change your decision?

[DKT3]

And see I thank you, because people are forgetting that yes I'm 28 which is young but I'm still a grown man who understands that his actions will Have a positive or negative reaction. And I'm not going to say I'm fully ready but I'm getting there.

 

And so DKT3 tell me if you was to go back in time and know what you know now would you change your decision?

 

Absolutely not, there are things I would do different but no I wouldn't change the decision.

[fallingdown2013]

I'm sorry I didn't see your other post so I didn't answer back but now to answer your question

 

-Yes OM knows he's the father

-if it was that easy I would but I hate her right now and can't trust her yet. Just thinking about things they did is enough to enrage me. Ex: she had a threesome with OM and his other babies mother!!! Like yeah I never asked for one but that's because I knew she would never agree to it. She would get mad if I stared at another girl ass or commented on it. So you tell me you wouldn't be mad and there's more stuff.

 

-that's a if he doesn't. If he does then I'm gone

 

1&2. Yeah you can see it as her giving it up for me or her just not wanting to work

3.i don't think she wants to sign it but she is willing

4.this does count for some to me I admit

5. This should be a no brainier. I honestly couldn't understand her thinking with that one. Like I would of at least understood a guy with more money then me, but she went for the attractive no car, no house, two kids already guy who besides look couldn't provide her with anything.

 

I feel as if a postnup is going too soft on her, she would have got her cake and ate it too. I want to set her free so she can go and be with who ever she wants guilt free. If she still wants to chase me after this let that be her choice but I won't be holding her back and vice versa. So as I said idk if we're getting back together but for now I prefer to stay single.

 

Her thinking with item (5) is really not difficult to understand. She didn't view the OM as a provider. She saw him as a lover. He was a vehicle to explore her sexual desires without being judged. She didn't care what he thought of her. This happens often, so you're definitely not alone. In any event, it would be a serious error in judgement to not end this marriage. You are very young and have the opportunity for a fresh start.

[singer23]

she had a threesome with OM and his other babies mother!!! Like yeah I never asked for one but that's because I knew she would never agree to it. She would get mad if I stared at another girl ass or commented on it. So you tell me you wouldn't be mad and there's more stuff.

 

She was having threesomes with this guy ? And you still want to take her back ?

 

 

Edit: Even iron clad prenups are not being held up in courts today.. Postnups are even worse than prenups. Just google around. or talk to a lawyer. From what I understand, postnups are just a formality that hold no legal weight.

Edited August 16, 2015 by singer23

[singer23]

A parents love for their kid is the strongest kind of love. She is willing to throw away her kid for you ? What does she think a life is ?

 

Throwing away her kid for adoption only proves her love for herself, not for you. or she does not know what the f*ck she is talking about and she is saying anything to keep you.

 

She is also very likely slept in your bed with the OM.

[dental]

This story is getting more messy and panicky.Unfortunately, I get the impression that OP is not mature enough to be able to make adequate decisions for himself in this situation. This is plausible, because for people who are not emotionally involved in this mess, it's difficult to get e clear perspective of what to do. The healthiest thing to do, in my opinion, is to get away from this stress. Fast. As of yesterday. This is not a situation that end well. I hope that OP will get clarity and choose wisely.

[sandylee1]

hospital administrators are the ones who completes it and forward it too State register And that's when they become official. So they should have the forms acknowledging paternity before sending the BC To register. And as for her manipulating you're right and I do have to take that into consideration.

 

Even though hospital admin send the details, I had to officially register the birth and produce a marriage certificate. If I didn't provide that proof, they would not just accept that I was married - after all they don't know me from Adam and I could have lied about being married to the hospital.

[sandylee1]

Do I think I'm Jesus Christ? Heavens no, not close but do I feel what I'm doing is right? Yes. And alright I did read alive story but I also read DKT3 story, a instance where a man took a kid as his own at 15!!! And now the boy is in his 20s happily getting married and I bet DKT3 doesn't regret his choice

 

It's very different when the child is born and the bond is formed. DKT was deceived, as you were, so you don't have to form a bond .

She will survive without you. Don't try and be her KISA.

 

You need to read 'no more Mr nice guy'

[Itwasntme]

It's very different when the child is born and the bond is formed. DKT was deceived, as you were, so you don't have to form a bond .

She will survive without you. Don't try and be her KISA.

 

You need to read 'no more Mr nice guy'

First off I've been wondering what is a KISA? Two you're right she will survive without me. But I'm not really worried about her, I just want to make sure the baby is ok up until birth. Is that wrong of me?

[road]

im new here just lurking for now searching for answer to

this thread a remarkable journey for this man

this will sound very crazy, why not have a chance with stbxw

she will sign prenup anyway protect you from money problems in the future

you had said wife very beautiful 9. you have nothing to lose cause she will sign prenup.

you earn a lot of money i doubt you would worry about any child support you are not some blue collar worker.

you live away from posom. he cannot get to your wife now. you live far from om.

you can still have your wife without fearing money lost cause of prenup or post nup agreement.

she had work hard to she is accountant.

she show sacrificed her job to be with you.

she left old town to leave om and past behind.

think about it you can still have access to a level 9 P***y.

with out problem since pre-nup.

why not take crazy chance in crazy life, sure beats having normal boring life. spice of life. keeps you on your toes.

think of that level 9 P.

 

Dump her:

 

 

Her presence will always cause triggers of what she did. Even 30 years later the triggers will be fewer, shorter, and farther between, they will still happen.

 

 

He is young thus time to find someone new to marry and have a family.

 

 

They have know children.

 

 

There is no long term history.

 

 

Financials are easy to separate now.

 

 

OP, being rich enough to pay for 10 OC's is not a good reason to stay married. The OC is the financial responsibility of his soon to be XWW and the OM.

[Itwasntme]

This story is getting more messy and panicky.Unfortunately, I get the impression that OP is not mature enough to be able to make adequate decisions for himself in this situation. This is plausible, because for people who are not emotionally involved in this mess, it's difficult to get e clear perspective of what to do. The healthiest thing to do, in my opinion, is to get away from this stress. Fast. As of yesterday. This is not a situation that end well. I hope that OP will get clarity and choose wisely.

So what do you suggest I do to get away? Go on a resort vacation? Just ignore her for two whole months? And I'm being serious here too, I want your opinion because I've been looking at it from the point of view as even if I'm not legally his father and I'm not with his mother we could still form a bond and I'll be truly loving. People keep telling me I won't be able to truly love him as he will always remind me of the betrayal and how crazy or doormat I'm being, but I just don't see it that way.

 

The biggest thing I feel I have to worry about is the future and the mom pulling some evil **** on me, I would say she wouldn't cut me off of contact with the boy she isn't a spiteful person like that. But like one poster said I also wouldn't had thought she would cheat on me, and females emotions are unpredictable and all over the place. So yeah that would be a challenge I'm taking but outside of that maybe I am thinking to immature but I can't see any other problems. Plus I feel if I just gave in now I wouldn't be doing it out of certainty that I don't want the kid but out of pressure from people on here

Edited August 16, 2015 by Itwasntme

[road]

First off I've been wondering what is a KISA? Two you're right she will survive without me. But I'm not really worried about her, I just want to make sure the baby is ok up until birth. Is that wrong of me?

 

Knight in shinning armor. Only dates women with problems. Feels his need to be a hero. Foolish and ill-advised way to act.

 

 

Confusing not wanting any child to suffer does not make it your responsibility to take care of the OC.

[Hope Shimmers]

Confusing not wanting any child to suffer does not make it your responsibility to take care of the OC.

 

He gets that it isn't his "responsibility". Instead he cares enough about the child to do this.

 

Leave him alone road with your harsh posts about how people in affairs should be put to death or the equivalent. I can't imagine how much bitterness and hate you harbor to have become the person you are, and I've seen these posts from you for literally years. It's sad.

[sandylee1]

First off I've been wondering what is a KISA? Two you're right she will survive without me. But I'm not really worried about her, I just want to make sure the baby is ok up until birth. Is that wrong of me?

 

My apologies......KISA = Knight in shinning armour.

 

To rescue her from the mess she's in.

 

I can't say it's wrong of you and I would hold no bad feeling towards the baby, but I'd have no particular interest in it.

 

Most men would divorce and never look back, considering she was deceiving you it was yours.

 

I know a case where this man's wife died and his three kids had gone off to college. He got a call from the hospital one day to say his son was in a vehicle accident and was in a bad way. He he gets there are tests are required, some requirement for a donor is required and the dad is tested. Transpires he was no match as a doner and he was NOT the biological father.

 

20 years later he finds out and no way to know who the biological father is as his wife is dead.

 

So he's wondering, what about my daughter and other son......

 

That's the very cruel nature of what your wife did. That could have been you in years to come.

 

I just find it the worse thing a woman can do to a man.

[sandylee1]

So what do you suggest I do to get away? Go on a resort vacation? Just ignore her for two whole months? And I'm being serious here too, I want your opinion because I've been looking at it from the point of view as even if I'm not legally his father and I'm not with his mother we could still form a bond and I'll be truly loving. People keep telling me I won't be able to truly love him as he will always remind me of the betrayal and how crazy or doormat I'm being, but I just don't see it that way.

 

The biggest thing I feel I have to worry about is the future and the mom pulling some evil **** on me, I would say she wouldn't cut me off of contact with the boy she isn't a spiteful person like that. But like one poster said I also wouldn't had thought she would cheat on me, and females emotions are unpredictable and all over the place. So yeah that would be a challenge I'm taking but outside of that maybe I am thinking to immature but I can't see any other problems. Plus I feel if I just gave in now I wouldn't be doing it out of certainty that I don't want the kid but out of pressure from people on here

 

Honestly - if you were my brother , I would say to ignore her for the remaining 2 months. I'd tell him to continue with the divorce and communicate via your lawyer only.

 

Go total no contact except for matters relating to the divorce.

 

The child is part of her and I would not want my brother having anything to do with a woman who disrespected him so badly.

 

I would advise him to not even see the child. Why should he? This isn't a step child . It's a child your wife conceived and being unsure about the paternity she decided to deceive you, rather than terminate the pregnancy.

 

Regardless of if her good looks would stop all the traffic in the world, I'd tell him to cut loose from a woman who has NO RESPECT for him.