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Meeting people to date in bars.....good or bad?


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alphamale
Originally posted by purple21

Or you finding out that they like to drink wayyy too much and they practically live in bars.

good point PURPLE21. The people who tend to hang in the bar scene a lot have a higher tendency to be alcoholics and have other serious mental deficiencies. I mean, what is the one thing that everyone has in common at the bar, they drink booze?!? Right?

 

In addition I think these heavy bar goers tend to have below avg intelligence in my observation.

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I don't require alcohol for entertainment and people who make drinking a regular practice tend not to be very interesting - at least not while they're drinking. I can't stand smoke so quit going to bars long ago when smoking was still allowed. Now I find zero attractive about a bar. The great thing about the dances I go to is that hardly anybody drinks.

 

I have a drink once every few months, if that. I have never been drunk - after a couple of drinks (which I nurse for ages), I find I dislike the way my head feels. I suppose that's what people call a 'buzz' but it's not at all pleasant to me.

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blind_otter
Originally posted by TUDOR

I know what you are saying Alfa, like I said I had my fair share of one nighters with women I had met at a bar. But I fail to see the difference in meeting some one at a mall, grocery store, game, even church as different than meeting some one at bar. Your intentions when and where you meet people are the only difference. People are who they are no matter where you met them. A woman or man that will more than likely be a one night stand for you does not change whether you meet them at bar or some other venue.

 

All the guys I have met at bars have alcohol addiction or substance abuse problems. I'm not saying all people at bars are like this, but if you meet someone at a bar, the chances are higher that they have those problems or enjoy those activities, more so than someone you meet at a coffee shop or bookstore or something like that.

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Originally posted by alphamale

What is your stance on meeting people in bars to date? Have you ever had a serious relationship with someone you met at a bar?

 

What are the pros and cons in your opinion and what do you think of people who use the bar as their primary vehicle to meet others?

 

I actually know a few people that have met in bars and have good strong relationships. I dont know that they are the norm though.

 

A lot of the people that I know have met through other friends (those break ups are a bitch - trust me - going through it now) or at work. On line I am a little leary of because I have heard some real horror stories. Its hard to meet people these days. I am not very religious but my mom keeps telling me to join a church group. I dont really see that happening for me either.

 

I dont know how to meet people other then at bars or through other people. I dont think I would ever go out with someone I worked with. I would be to afraid it would end up badly and I actually like my job and the company I work for. I guess it depends on your interests too. I have read stories about people meeting as they were going to go skydiving for the first time. You just never know.

 

My friends suggested 6 minute dating and I dont know if I am into that either. I guess I just keep hoping I will be in the grocery store and my cart will accidentally crash into some cute guy and it will be love at first sight and we will live happily ever after in the frozen foods section. :)

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Originally posted by NeverSayNever

I have met guys in a bar but I can honestly say I've never DATED a guy I've met in a bar. It would be difficult to think that a guy would want something serious with a girl when he's trying to hook up in a bar. However, some people see bars as a social gathering where people go have a few drinks get lose and have a good time.

 

I am one of those people that thinks of bars as social gatherings. I get hit on but I have yet to meet anyone that I would be serious about. I think it also depends on the type of bar you go to. I think that its next to impossible to meet people in dance clubs. I dated a bartender once. It was tons of fun. Lots of free drinks but the environment sucked because most of the time we spent together was while he was working because he was an Accountant by day and a Bartender a few nights a week.

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I met my bf at a bar. His friend was trying to flirt with me, I've cut him off straight away - you know the type, a nice black hair Spaniard with a beer to many on him. Luckly, one of the girls I was with liked him, so they started talking. My bf didn't tell me a word - he was more of the observing type.

 

 

Some other guy was inviting me to dance and all.. this one also gave me his phone number.

 

They both called me. The second guy was more persistent - I think I've went out with him first. Too bad all he was interested in was a quick affair.

 

And then, a few weeks after, my current bf asks me out - we went to a movie. We took it really really slow, and in a month and a half, he introduced me to his parents! :).

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Originally posted by RoxStar

I dont know how to meet people other then at bars or through other people. I dont think I would ever go out with someone I worked with. I would be to afraid it would end up badly and I actually like my job and the company I work for.

Is not it ironic, ROXIE, that the people u work with probably have a lot in common with but u cannot date them cause of the "taboo". And that the people you probably have the least in common with are at the bar but people hook up there all the time.

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Originally posted by alphamale

Is not it ironic, ROXIE, that the people u work with probably have a lot in common with but u cannot date them cause of the "taboo". And that the people you probably have the least in common with are at the bar but people hook up there all the time.

 

My whole life is ironic at this point! :) But very true.

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my parentsmet at a bar too and they've been married for 23 years...

 

me and my current b/f met at the local pub. we're really happy together and things are good right now... i think if u believe in making the relationship qork, anything can happen.

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Originally posted by alphamale

What is your stance on meeting people in bars to date? Have you ever had a serious relationship with someone you met at a bar?

 

What are the pros and cons in your opinion and what do you think of people who use the bar as their primary vehicle to meet others?

I don't drink or smoke but I love to dance to live music. When I go to a bar for the music and dance I'm not looking for a woman to date or hook up with but I did date one woman I met in a bar for around 3 years. She didn't drink either and was there for the music and to dance as well. That was a fun time in my life, we'd be the first on the the dance floor and the last off at the end of the night. Then as now I rarely go to bars at all and only if a band that I know or like is playing there.

 

Pros: Bars may have a more concentrated collection of the type of people someone is looking for, if they are going to a bar to meet people.

Cons: Bars are like a box of choc-o-lates, you never know what kind of atmosphere/people you're going to find there.

 

Define: meet :D

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RecordProducer

I don't think the place matters. Although meeting people at bars (or beaches) supposedly leads to casual sex only, you never know where you can meet the right person. Never say never! ;)

 

I don't like when people comment the contingency of PEOPLE (unless you're trying to say taht all the people are not suitable). You don't need people, you only need one person! There are all kinds of people in a bar as every class and profile likes music, going out and having fun. Bars are not related to a certain type of people.

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mental_traveller
Originally posted by alphamale

What is your stance on meeting people in bars to date? Have you ever had a serious relationship with someone you met at a bar?

 

What are the pros and cons in your opinion and what do you think of people who use the bar as their primary vehicle to meet others?

 

I wouldn't go to a bar specifically to find someone to date, but if I am there anyway and see someone nice, I'd still ask them out. I haven't had a serious relationship with someone I met at a bar, but I'd certainly be open to it. IMO the pros are that you know they are into drinking & bars, you can eye them up & flirt a little, it's easy to break the ice, and they are usually more up for "fun". The cons are that it can be a bit superficial & hard to get to know them (often due to noise/crowd), booze clouds judgement on both sides, there is competition from other guys on the prowl, sometimes the woman is only on for a quick fling, and her friends will often try to cockblock you. Personally I prefer somewhere you can chat one-to-one in a less stilted environment.

 

IMO the best women to chat up at bars are the ones working there! Just avoid one-liners as they've heard them all before ;)

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I met My BF at a Night Club :D

 

Wasn't there to meet anyone, was there with my GF's to dance and get My drink on a lil..

 

As it happend I met him about 30 minutes before the Club closed.. he asked for My number before I left.. He called me the next day.. that was almost 5 months ago and we're still together.

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christinaIUP

I met my bf of 3 1/2 years at a college bar while i was at school. I defininatly wasnt there to pick anyone up, i actually had a bf at the time. I saw him there a couple times before, caught him looking at me, then he came over to talk to me. My current bf at that time and i were having problems for a while, but I didnt persue anything else until i ended that relationship. I regret the way I handled that situation, but... thats a whole other story. Bottom line, it is possible to have a relationship with some that you meet at a bar, a college bar no less. We do have our problems, as my few other posts indicate, but hey, who doesnt? His parents met at a bar, and they have been married for over 20 years now.

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every damn person on this thread who met someone at a bar has also said "but i was not there to meet anyone" :laugh: i find that ironic.

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Originally posted by Merin

I met My BF at a Night Club :D

Wasn't there to meet anyone, was there with my GF's to dance and get my drink on a lil..

 

As it happend I met him about 30 minutes before the Club closed.. he asked for my number before I left.. He called me the next day.. that was almost 5 months ago and we're still together.

 

I met my current boyfriend at one of our local clubs too. While with friends. On the dance floor of all places. We had a dance and a pash then he bought me a drink and we had a really nice talk back at the meeting kind of area.

 

My friends were sitting next to us on another table and encouraged me to give my number to him since we seemed to be getting along really well. I thought he seemed really nice, down to earth and friendly so I did. :).

 

The next day he rang me and we went out on our first date. A year and 3 months later we are still together and have moved in with eachother. :love:.

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