tandersonsrt8 Posted August 15, 2015 Share Posted August 15, 2015 My wife is 30 years old and I am 26. We have 2 children ages 5 and 1.5 years old. My wife and I are separated but still see each other couple times a week with kids. My wife has changed her phone password so I can no longer get into it. She always has it hidden whenever we are together so I cannot see what messages she is getting and sending. I let her go through my phone whenever she wants to because I have nothing to hide. She has deleted all of the photos of us together on facebook and changed her name to remove our last name from it. She posts pictures of just her now looking good and I am blocked as well but I can see if through friends. It is driving me crazy. She says she is 100% into the marriage and for us to work out while being separated but I don't see how when everything the public can see about her says she is single. Should I be worrying about it? It is causing lots of fights with me demanding it to be changed and her not doing anything or changing the profile picture to a different new one of just her. When a friend calls she mentions nothing about me making it seem that the friends don't even know she is with me. I feel like I am being played and just putting off the divorce. I don't know how to handle it. Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedH Posted August 15, 2015 Share Posted August 15, 2015 I don't see how she is 100% into the marriage if you're separated. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
casey.lives Posted August 15, 2015 Share Posted August 15, 2015 have you tried trusting her. maybe the overlord codependent thing is the problem?! Link to post Share on other sites
m.snow Posted August 15, 2015 Share Posted August 15, 2015 stop giving her your phone and block her to on your facebook to. what you need to "work-out" on is being good co parents to your young children. she changed her status to single and your married/separated. she could have at least placed it in complicated. i don't know if your got the message. "its over" or are you waiting for the 6 o'clock bus to hit you right in the face. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
angel.eyes Posted August 15, 2015 Share Posted August 15, 2015 Her actions are more consistent with someone headed out the door, but needing a little time to get all her ducks in a row first. Sorry. Words can be cheap and meaningless sometimes. Are you guys in marriage counseling? How exactly is she (and you) working on repairing your marriage. I didn't see anything in your post about this. Link to post Share on other sites
Methodical Posted August 15, 2015 Share Posted August 15, 2015 You don't state or give any indication concerning what led to the separation. Nobody is 100% into a marriage when separated. You can make all the demands you want, and as you do, know that you are driving that wedge deeper and it's splitting you farther apart. Because you give her access to your phone doesn't mean she should do the same. It's her perogative to change and maintain password protected devices. As far as FB, the pictures she chooses to share are her business. There's a reason for her not wanting you to have access. Ex: Trust issues? Infidelity? Etc. IDK... However, it's good to put aside your differences while in the presence of your children. They aren't responsible for the tangled web that has been woven. FWIW, mature discussions will be more well received than controlling demands. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted August 15, 2015 Share Posted August 15, 2015 She says she is 100% into the marriage and for us to work out while being separated but I don't see how when everything the public can see about her says she is single. I don't understand this at all. Separation is practice and preparation for divorce. It has nothing to do with working on your marriage. I'd guess from your post separating was her idea. Draw your own conclusions... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted August 15, 2015 Share Posted August 15, 2015 Of course you're being played. But it's not her fault. Only your fault, by accepting the bizarre situation. You are blocked from her facebook? Block her from your life. Have her filed the sooner the better. Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted August 15, 2015 Share Posted August 15, 2015 What led to the seperation? What are the terms of your seperation? Are you both free to date others? I think nothing is better than dishing people like your wife a taste of her own medicine. Take pictures of her off FB Change your status Go NC except matters relating to the kids Change your passwords Then once she's seen all this BLOCK HER. If she has no problem with any of this, then she's checked out of your marriage. Time to accept that and prepare for a life without her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tandersonsrt8 Posted August 15, 2015 Author Share Posted August 15, 2015 Thank you for replying so fast. This is just the wake up call I needed. Link to post Share on other sites
Redheaded Mistress Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 You're seperated... You don't need to show her your phone and you shouldn't be demanding to see hers. Either you unseperate and give reconciliation a shot, or you seperate and you can't ask her what she does or where she goes and vice versa. Link to post Share on other sites
mrnevi Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 here what you do. find beautiful woman date her take picture with you together put it on phone. she see picture, she go crazy, you go happy. she want be single, you be single to. the solution to cheating wife, find another woman. that way it fair. she f some one you f some to. do not block her, let her see you with new woman. Link to post Share on other sites
dental Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 It's over. Period. Make your house in order. Find peace. Move on with your life. Link to post Share on other sites
TrustedthenBusted Posted August 16, 2015 Share Posted August 16, 2015 Separated = Single, no? I mean, why else would you even do it? Link to post Share on other sites
Author tandersonsrt8 Posted August 16, 2015 Author Share Posted August 16, 2015 I guess I just thought the separation was only temporary and we would move in once the house is done so she can move out of her mothers house which I am not allowed at. I just was hoping that once we were on our own we would be alright but I realize I have been strung along now and I am taking the steps to end it. Again thank you everybody for opening my eyes for what I didn't want to see even though it was right in front of me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tandersonsrt8 Posted August 16, 2015 Author Share Posted August 16, 2015 During this whole separation I have had girls who I know are interested in me but I am not interested in them because I was "married" but separated. I now wish I would have acted on those moments instead of waiting. But during this time I have also been planning and protecting myself just in case. Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedH Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 During this whole separation I have had girls who I know are interested in me but I am not interested in them because I was "married" but separated. I now wish I would have acted on those moments instead of waiting. But during this time I have also been planning and protecting myself just in case. There's a time and place for dating. If you're going to divorce, wait until you've taken action and filed. It sounds to me like a blunt conversation with your wife is merited before you do anything. Link to post Share on other sites
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