Big fears ahead for OW

[Lostkate29]

Hey guys, before I start I know I thoroughly deserve all the consequences I will face but just writing in hope somebody may have some wise words or advice for me...

 

My ex attached man (I'm the OW) is another parent at my daughters school, we are currently on school holidays so we don't have to see each other since his girlfriend found out about us and things ended...

 

My worry is when school returns how to cope with seeing him again, some parents at the school have also found out about us as his girlfriend told them when we were discovered....

 

I am not really worried about what they think or will say to me as long as it doesn't affect my daughter. I know btw what a disgrace I am getting involved with another parent as my daughter may hear stories, this is something I have to live with and the guilt is eating me up.

 

Moving schools Isn't an option as they are full around our community. I really feel lost right now. It's day 11 NC for us which won't change but the feeling if dred I'm going through thinking of seeing him dropping his kids to school is taking over me.

 

Thank you in advance for any advice and taking time to help me

[purplesorrow]

Does your child know? You may want to have an age appropriate discussion if you think she will hear from another source. Good luck.

[Lostkate29]

Abit I forgot to add his girlfriend and mother of children doesn't do the drop off or pick up school runs one of the reasons I fell for the "we are not really together" line in the first place as I never saw her....

[Lostkate29]

Does your child know? You may want to have an age appropriate discussion if you think she will hear from another source. Good luck.

 

No my daughter (5 years old) doesn't know anything, his eldest two sons do know so I do worry they will say something to her, I actually wouldn't even know where to start or what to say to her to protect her....

[sandylee1]

What age are his kids ?

 

 

It's quite possible with the summer holidays they won't focus on that when school resumes. Unless the affair has been discussed at home / they've head arguments about it all summer, I would think seeing their friends is the main thing on their minds and adjusting to a new class and teacher.

 

How do you know his kids know and what exactly do they know?

 

I'd be a little suprised if they say anything to her directly, but they may say something to their friends who have younger siblings in your daughters class, but I'm not sure a 5 year old would understand. Most 5 year olds don't know what an affair is. If your daughter was older, there would possibly be more talk among the kids.

 

The biggest direct thing I've seen affect the child in this situation, was the daughter not being invited to birthday parties/playdates etc because the BW told everyone she could that she was a home wrecker. It was the isolation after the moms affair and some other parents wanted to distance themselves from the OW and her family altogether.

 

I used to volunteer in the school at that time and I got to hear quite a bit.

The daughter was older though, so she understood what her mom did when it came out.

 

But I have to ask if he said they weren't actually together, you would have been able to have an open relationship with no sneaking around. Be honest with yourself here. Just because one parent does the drop off, doesn't meant they aren't together.

[still_an_Angel]

Most unfortunate that we cannot protect our kids in this situation. Be ready that there will be a high chance your daughter will hear about it. I think in this scenario your daughter will be more armed if she knows and is prepared a bit. I don't mean that she needs to know everything but kids talk (a lot) and I hope other kids won't be nasty.