Illusion24 Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 Once a woman knows she has total control over a man then the game is over. Alpha...please say your statements as if.."MOST" woman knew they had control over their men the game is over...! When I'm in a relationship I make sure I respect my man. For ex., If I'm angry with him and we're in a group gathering I give him the look but I treat him with respect. I don't yell at him in front of others, nor do I insult him or make him feel less of a man. So, maybe SOME woman are like that but not all...I believe a relationship is based on a lot of things but in my eyes and my experiences TRUST is #1...I couldn't be with someone I didn't trust, . Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 10, 2005 Author Share Posted May 10, 2005 Originally posted by NeverSayNever Alpha...please say your statements as if.."MOST" woman knew they had control over their men the game is over...! When I'm in a relationship I make sure I respect my man. For ex., If I'm angry with him and we're in a group gathering I give him the look but I treat him with respect. I don't yell at him in front of others, nor do I insult him or make him feel less of a man. So, maybe SOME woman are like that but not all...I believe a relationship is based on a lot of things but in my eyes and my experiences TRUST is #1...I couldn't be with someone I didn't trust, . She didn't respect me. I didn't trust her. (And she gave me good reason not to) Bad, bad combination. I think the fact she can jump right from my bed to someone else's so quickly tells you the cut of her jib. Again, should I email about the books or leave it alone? Link to post Share on other sites
dgiirl Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC Again, should I email about the books or leave it alone? hehe if you want your stuff, get your stuff. Just make sure it's not so you can see her again. Also make sure you think of everything else she has that you want back. So this will be the last and final C before NC Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 10, 2005 Author Share Posted May 10, 2005 Originally posted by dgiirl hehe if you want your stuff, get your stuff. Just make sure it's not so you can see her again. Also make sure you think of everything else she has that you want back. So this will be the last and final C before NC I'm afraid if I email that I'll be tempted to say something negative to her Link to post Share on other sites
outdated Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 Deep inside AM, it seems like you clearly resent something. Namely women. Maybe you were hurt, maybe you miss your mother, but all women are not the same, and getting close to one doesn't make you any less of a man. Trying, not pleading and begging, is what makes something work. Not ignoring and weakly generalizing. Yeah, I've had my heart broken by a woman. And yeah, I'll do it all over again if that's what it takes. Your "techniques" seem to be as much of the problem as they are of the solution. Running away from everything and not getting too close to anyone is what's wrong with the world, not what's right. Yes respect and trust are the most important things in a relationship, but people only give respect if they get it in return, and in a real relationship, people don't give up on someone because they find out that they are loved by them. HOw can you honestly give advice about relationships if you're never in one longer than the time it takes me to eat my dinner? Link to post Share on other sites
HotCaliGirl Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 I hope this isn't you subconsciously looking for an excuse to make contact with her! I think the cost of replacing them is worth the cost on your emotions to contact her to get them back, but if that's a financial hardship, then email the bitch that you need your books back, when would be a good time to pick them up? that she can leave them outside her doorstep for you or whatever arrangement you feel the most comfortable with, without adding any other comment, especially any negative one. Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 The cost to replace the books will still be less than the cost of contacting her again.. think about it... Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 10, 2005 Author Share Posted May 10, 2005 Originally posted by Merin The cost to replace the books will still be less than the cost of contacting her again.. think about it... She won't reply.... Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 You're so hardcore against NC, yet here you are talking about contacting her. What gives? Pick one. I say just email her and tell her like it is. Don't be the nice guy. Who cares? What do you have to lose? Self respect? It's called self respect because it's yours and no one can take it away from you unless you let them. Don't let her. Do what you feel is right. And I honestly think you feel like you need to email her. That's just my opinion. Otherwise you would've let this book thing die ages ago. Link to post Share on other sites
HotCaliGirl Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 Originally posted by HotCaliGirl I hope this isn't you subconsciously looking for an excuse to make contact with her! Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 Originally posted by HotCaliGirl HCG quoting HCG what a concept! Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC She won't reply.... Would it matter if she replied? The cost I was referring to is.. emotional cost (to you) regardless of her response good/bad/indifferent it isn't going to be what you would like her to say/feel know what I mean? I dunno.. IME sometimes it's just better to leave things alone then to keep it going... it just gives you more baggage to sort through with why did he/she say this, that, the other... Link to post Share on other sites
HotCaliGirl Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale HCG quoting HCG what a concept! What can I say Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 10, 2005 Author Share Posted May 10, 2005 Kevin, I haven't unloaded on her. I want to tell her what a piece of crap I think she is, but at the same time I'm struggling with being a good Christian and controlling my anger. It won't help the situation, but at least I'll feel good for finally telling her off. She is a despicable person, unworthy of my love. Link to post Share on other sites
outdated Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 You couldn't be more right- she doesn't deserve you. Letting her wallow in her own stink is the best revenge I can think of. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 10, 2005 Author Share Posted May 10, 2005 Ok, I jotted this letter down. What do you think? I forgot to tell you, I still would like my books back. Especially my Lee Parks book as I plan on racing *** soon. Please MAIL them to: Me My address My City/State/Zip I do not want you to come here. In fact, I no longer have any desire to see you at all. Last night was a revelation for me and I finally opened my eyes and saw you for what you truly are; A despicable, lonely, insecure, frightened little girl who runs from life's problems rather than standing up and facing them head on. So take care of yourself, *****. Feel however you want about me, but mistaking a deeply loving, caring, God fearing man for a "clingy doorstop" was a gigantic mistake on your part. A few months or a year from now, it will hit you. Men like me only come around once a lifetime. You wouldn't open up your heart and so it appears God had something better in mind for me. Based on how fast you and the new guy are rushing things (which seems to be a pattern with you), things will go terribly wrong. Who will you run to then?! I was the greatest thing to happen to your life and you screwed it up. Good luck to you. I'll pray for God to touch your heart and allow you to open up *IF* true love ever graces your presence again. PS: In regards to restraint and sex, he knows you both want it. It's only a matter of time before you both "cave in" and then who will you have to blame!? You will screw this guy and I bet it's sooner rather than later. This is a normal pattern of behavior with you. Yet you blamed ME for not stopping YOUR desires. With that said, I am finished taking the blame for YOUR insecurities. I deserve so much better than you. Link to post Share on other sites
sunshinegirl Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 Hi Confused. I've been reading your threads and can see how much pain you're in. I'd sit on the letter for a couple of days. Will you really feel better telling her what all her problems are? It will be very easy for her to dismiss them out of hand. Believe me, I've had the same instinct to tell my ex that he's running from intimacy, that he just got scared...because we had the makings of something great together and he just ran from it. But so far I've refrained. What would it accomplish? He would just disagree with me. So...for you...I would encourage you not to send this until you've thought about it for at least a day. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 10, 2005 Author Share Posted May 10, 2005 Originally posted by sunshinegirl Hi Confused. I've been reading your threads and can see how much pain you're in. I'd sit on the letter for a couple of days. Will you really feel better telling her what all her problems are? It will be very easy for her to dismiss them out of hand. Believe me, I've had the same instinct to tell my ex that he's running from intimacy, that he just got scared...because we had the makings of something great together and he just ran from it. But so far I've refrained. What would it accomplish? He would just disagree with me. So...for you...I would encourage you not to send this until you've thought about it for at least a day. Good luck! I hear you. I know exactly what your are saying. But this letter, this is me finally standing up to her and not just telling her off, but telling the truth. Things she doesn't want to hear but needs to.... Its over and heck, it will make ME feel a lot better.... Link to post Share on other sites
dgiirl Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 lol COC, I think the first line is perfect! Just send that one Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 10, 2005 Author Share Posted May 10, 2005 Originally posted by dgiirl lol COC, I think the first line is perfect! Just send that one Which line? You think the rest is immaterial? I DO think she made a big mistake. Link to post Share on other sites
beesknees Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 Originally posted by dgiirl lol COC, I think the first line is perfect! Just send that one I agree. Keep it short. Sending the rest lets her know she's still got you by the "cajones." If possible, just buy new books elsewhere. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 10, 2005 Author Share Posted May 10, 2005 I need to tell her off. How about just this: I do not want you to come here. In fact, I no longer have any desire to see you at all. Last night was a revelation for me and I finally opened my eyes and saw you for what you truly are; A despicable, lonely, insecure, frightened little girl who runs from life's problems rather than standing up and facing them head on. Whenver you have a problem with a guy, you just run to the next one. Whenever you don't want to deal with a friend, you just forget them and replace them with a new one. That's a classic sign of someone who can not deal with life's everyday problems. With that said, I am finished taking the blame for YOUR insecurities. I deserve so much better than you. Link to post Share on other sites
dgiirl Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 You're just reinforcing the reasons she gave herself for breaking it off. If it really makes you feel better, then sure. But I also think it'll make her feel better in dumping you Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 10, 2005 Author Share Posted May 10, 2005 Ok, so help me out here. Let me see your edits! Link to post Share on other sites
sunshinegirl Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 Well, again....I'd wait. Email will still be there tomorrow. Sleep on it. Get your feet back under you. Then decide if you want to tell her the "truth". I guarantee you she won't see it as the truth. She will see it as you lashing out in your hurt and anger. Maybe--MAYBE!--in months or years she'll see some truth to what you say. But not now she won't. So think hard about what you want to accomplish. Once you send it, are you going to wait anxiously for a response? Deep down, how are you going to feel if you get no response? Link to post Share on other sites
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