theone44 Posted May 11, 2005 Share Posted May 11, 2005 Originally posted by XNemesisX When will this nice guy argument ever go away? It is an excuse guys give to themselves when they get rejected. A woman either likes you or she doesn't, it has nothing to do with being nice or being mean. Not being attracted to you when you have been nice to her doesn't mean that your "niceness" is the reason she doesn't want you. The men who sit around sulking and whining about being a nice guy need to seriously get a life. Ever thought your problem might be that you are socially inept or possibly unattractive and THAT is why you get rejected?? But anyway..this is a whole other topic...I'm just so sick of hearing guys complain about this. They are usually the losers in real life, so all men with any social skills at all shouldn't listen to that "be mean to them so they like you" b.s. I like crazy women far better than the strange and confuse one..at least i know where they coming from. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 11, 2005 Author Share Posted May 11, 2005 Originally posted by whichwayisup You're NOT obessed. Your heart is hurting big time. I takes a LONG time to get over that hurt. Allow yourself to grieve Confused, and don't beat yourself up. Only you know what is best for you. Hugs. Thank you..... Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 11, 2005 Share Posted May 11, 2005 You're welcome. I remember that pain from waaay back when and hey, I'm a thinker (hense probably why I have anxiety alot!) and an over analyzer on things. It's just so easy to do!! Gotta use my old motto (which I should go back to...) Ya think too much ya f*ck it up! Link to post Share on other sites
SinceIvebeenlovingU Posted May 11, 2005 Share Posted May 11, 2005 I know ur pain Confused...all too well...but alas its been over 3 and a half months of NC on this side of the fence...and it feels ok other here...sure i still miss her...but what can i do...i can only find someone who will enjoy my company as much as she did in the beginning...because now she is someone else...today is a scary day...its my birthday in an hour...u don't think my mind is thinking of my ex...and whether or not she knows its my birthday...well i know for a fact she knows...because when i was with her last year she wonder whether or not she should call her ex...and i told her no...so i know she's thinking about me tomorrow...but it won't matter...because she won't do anything about it...and even if she did it wouldn't mean anything other than she was just giving me her best wishes...so i don't know...this year is the only year that i didn't want my birthday to come for this very reason...don't be where i am now... Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 11, 2005 Author Share Posted May 11, 2005 Thanks. I just realized that over the last year I've associated my happiness with someone else. Now that she's not here anymore, I forgot how to be happy without her. I have to RE-LEARN how to be happy again, alone. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted May 11, 2005 Share Posted May 11, 2005 Having a significant other is just icing on the cake. Only you can make yourself happy. You'll get there. It's just a matter of time. Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted May 11, 2005 Share Posted May 11, 2005 Originally posted by westernxer Having a significant other is just icing on the cake. Only you can make yourself happy. You'll get there. It's just a matter of time. Word Having a SO should enhance your life not determine it.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 11, 2005 Author Share Posted May 11, 2005 Originally posted by Merin Word Having a SO should enhance your life not determine it.. Hmmmmmm...that explains a lot about why I acted the way I did with her Link to post Share on other sites
YouGotServed Posted May 11, 2005 Share Posted May 11, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC Hmmmmmm...that explains a lot about why I acted the way I did with her Can you PM me your Instant Messenger name COC? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 11, 2005 Author Share Posted May 11, 2005 Originally posted by YouGotServed Can you PM me your Instant Messenger name COC? Yes if you turn on accepting PMs. You have PMs turned off. Link to post Share on other sites
YouGotServed Posted May 11, 2005 Share Posted May 11, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC Yes if you turn on accepting PMs. You have PMs turned off. It was already on "Yes" to accept PM's. Strange? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 11, 2005 Author Share Posted May 11, 2005 Still not working. Send me a PM and I'll reply. Link to post Share on other sites
YouGotServed Posted May 11, 2005 Share Posted May 11, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC Still not working. Send me a PM and I'll reply. I get this error message even though my PM is turned on. Your private message to ConfusedInOC could not be sent. This could be due to one of several reasons: You have disabled private messaging in your account options and are trying to contact someone that is not a moderator. ConfusedInOC may have chosen to disable private messages or may not be allowed to receive private messages. You have not yet met our private messaging use criteria. We only permit active participants to use our private messaging facilities. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 11, 2005 Author Share Posted May 11, 2005 Hmmm.... what IM service do you use? Link to post Share on other sites
YouGotServed Posted May 11, 2005 Share Posted May 11, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC Hmmm.... what IM service do you use? AOL and Yahoo. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 11, 2005 Author Share Posted May 11, 2005 Originally posted by YouGotServed AOL and Yahoo. There ya go. Link to post Share on other sites
SinceIvebeenlovingU Posted May 11, 2005 Share Posted May 11, 2005 ok now edit it out...before u get spammed Link to post Share on other sites
greenhorn Posted May 11, 2005 Share Posted May 11, 2005 Originally posted by YouGotServed I get this error message even though my PM is turned on. Your private message to ConfusedInOC could not be sent. This could be due to one of several reasons: You have disabled private messaging in your account options and are trying to contact someone that is not a moderator. ConfusedInOC may have chosen to disable private messages or may not be allowed to receive private messages. You have not yet met our private messaging use criteria. We only permit active participants to use our private messaging facilities. There is this criteria of having a certain number of posts, before your PM system could be enabled. The number of posts by you in LS is still not to that number I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
tokyo Posted May 11, 2005 Share Posted May 11, 2005 Originally posted by XNemesisX Did you write that in your email? If so, you may have just made a big mistake that I have made myself. NEVER write "signing off for good" or ANYTHING like that. Reason being, if you DO ever contact her again (which you probably will, let's face it) you just showed that you can't stick to those words. I said "this is the last email I will ever write to you" and things like that, to my ex and then a month later I would contact him and it would make me appear even more stupid. I hope you didn't write that unless you are 100% positive that you will never, under any circumstances contact her again. XNemesisX was faster than me and she's absolutely right. Link to post Share on other sites
tokyo Posted May 11, 2005 Share Posted May 11, 2005 Originally posted by XNemesisX I think alphamale was just being sarcastic to the insensitive jerk who posted that stuff about you....I don't think alpha was meaning for his post to be taken literally, it was a low blow to the dude who wrote that stuff-showing just how ridiculous it was. I don't think so. Alphamales was just trying to defend his hunting ground. ConfusedInOC may or may not have seek more attention than other people, but it would be logical when people enjoyed the attention and concern for their needs that they felt their ex-partner didn't give them. If they continue to be like this for an extended period they indeed might be attention whores thus revealing a possible reason why their partner left them. But why should someone who got hurt not want some cheers and soothing words for the wounded soul. Link to post Share on other sites
BigB Posted May 11, 2005 Share Posted May 11, 2005 dang, I go away for a couple days and so much happened. CIOC, big setback, but live at learn dude. Stay strong, keep your head up, and push through it. It will get better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedInOC Posted May 11, 2005 Author Share Posted May 11, 2005 Originally posted by kooky I don't think so. Alphamales was just trying to defend his hunting ground. ConfusedInOC may or may not have seek more attention than other people, but it would be logical when people enjoyed the attention and concern for their needs that they felt their ex-partner didn't give them. If they continue to be like this for an extended period they indeed might be attention whores thus revealing a possible reason why their partner left them. But why should someone who got hurt not want some cheers and soothing words for the wounded soul. I'm not compenstating, I just had a setback. I have plenty of good, caring friends as well. In regards to AM's comments, it's odd to get chastised for using the boards for what they are meant for. I could understand if I had multiple threads with similar topics. But it's just one and it's dealing with a specific problem. If that isn't well within the guidelines of what LS is supposed to be used for, then heck, I think we're all guilty BigB, I am fine. I just had a slight setback when I broke NC, which I am kicking myself for doing. Link to post Share on other sites
dgiirl Posted May 11, 2005 Share Posted May 11, 2005 Originally posted by dgiirl I'm a firm believer in letting them feel guilty. I think attacking the person only lets them justify their reasons for leaving. Trust me, I have a really hard time refraining from attacking too. But I DO believe if you keep your dignity, then they will feel guilt. But that's just me, and I know how my ex thinks And in the odd case that they do take what you say to heart, they'll be learning something about relationships. Dont give them any ideas on what they did wrong to mess things up. They'll learn less, and hopefully repeat the same thing all over again. I just got proof that having your dignity works. It's a little victory, but still a victory. A friend of his, who he use to friendly banter with a lot, contacted me saying my hubby's a little sensitive these days lol... What a wuss. He got all pissed off at their normal banter. Link to post Share on other sites
greenhorn Posted May 11, 2005 Share Posted May 11, 2005 Originally posted by dgiirl I just got proof that having your dignity works. It's a little victory, but still a victory. A friend of his, who he use to friendly banter with a lot, contacted me saying my hubby's a little sensitive these days lol... What a wuss. He got all pissed off at their normal banter. Yaay, three cheers for you Dgiirl, I am happy for you. Keep it up, fight for all of our cause. Link to post Share on other sites
dgiirl Posted May 11, 2005 Share Posted May 11, 2005 Originally posted by greenhorn Yaay, three cheers for you Dgiirl, I am happy for you. Keep it up, fight for all of our cause. hehe thanks I feel a little mean at taking pleasure in such a thing, but hey I deserve a break Link to post Share on other sites
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