dri2015 Posted August 17, 2015 Posted August 17, 2015 (edited) My husband has left me in 2 different times for family problems, basically his family was against our marriage and he faced some hard times with his parents and had to go care for them. The last time he left he broke a promise We had made, his friend been giving me support talking/chatting and even given my husband some advice to help our marriage, the problem is that I am crazy about his friend now, he is so understanding communicative and loving person. I am strongly attracted to him, and this feeling isnt going away. My husband meanwhile is planning our life, dedicated to fixing our family problems, his family has even giving Us their blessing. I see photos of both of them together (husband and friend ) and I broke down in tears, the 3 of Us are religious, and We never meant for none of this to happen..I cant control my feelings, neither the friend he is striongly attracted to me too. Please advice Edited August 17, 2015 by dri2015
casey.lives Posted August 17, 2015 Posted August 17, 2015 if you were dating i'd say just break up. dating isn't a commitment. you fell in love in a hopeful place
qubist Posted August 17, 2015 Posted August 17, 2015 My husband has left me in 2 different times for family problems, basically his family was against our marriage and he faced some hard times with his parents and had to go care for them. The last time he left he broke a promise We had made, his friend been giving me support talking/chatting and even given my husband some advice to help our marriage, the problem is that I am crazy about his friend now, he is so understanding communicative and loving person. I am strongly attracted to him, and this feeling isnt going away. My husband meanwhile is planning our life, dedicated to fixing our family problems, his family has even giving Us their blessing. I see photos of both of them together (husband and friend ) and I broke down in tears, the 3 of Us are religious, and We never meant for none of this to happen..I cant control my feelings, neither the friend he is striongly attracted to me too. Please advice how do you know he has feelings for you? did you talk about it and admit you love one another or this is just your assumptions? the obvious answer almost everyone here will tell you is ask for Divorce and move on his friend. but I would advise you to be patient you may be confused by the whole situation. take a breath, stay away from the "friend" and try to work thing out with your H, you said he is now trying his best to make it up, if you leave him now for his "best Friend" he will be devastated and you guys will have hard time coping with it. in addition, if you find out later that your feelings toward the friend was not necessary love but just a lust after a guy who showed a much needed attention and kindness, you will end up loosing everything. give your H a chance, try to love each other again, in order to do that you will need 2 things. 1 while your H is trying to make things works, do not leave anything in you Marriage under the rug, talk to him about all the issues in your M. 2- stay away from the other guy, this is important, since you developed some feelings for him it will be hard to Recover your M with him around. do never compare him with your H because believe it or not grass is always greener on the other side, if he actually said he had feelings for you you should talked to him about your plan to work with your H on your M and ask him stay away 1
CarrieT Posted August 17, 2015 Posted August 17, 2015 I cant control my feelings, neither the friend he is striongly attracted to me too. Please advice Tell your husband. Get the feelings out in the open and they will diffuse quickly enough. Keep them inside and they will continue to fester.... 1
Author dri2015 Posted August 17, 2015 Author Posted August 17, 2015 Thank You for the responses. Yes the friend has the same feelings, We told each other yesterday, and I currently speak much more to the friend than my husband. I even introduced a friend to him a few weeks ago thinking it would make Us away, but it has become worse because I started feeling jealous, til I couldnt hold and last night We confessed to each other to have feelings
Satu Posted August 17, 2015 Posted August 17, 2015 If you intend to begin a relationship with the other man you should first divorce your husband.
qubist Posted August 17, 2015 Posted August 17, 2015 Thank You for the responses. Yes the friend has the same feelings, We told each other yesterday, and I currently speak much more to the friend than my husband. I even introduced a friend to him a few weeks ago thinking it would make Us away, but it has become worse because I started feeling jealous, til I couldnt hold and last night We confessed to each other to have feelings Before you do anything you should know that whatever you feel toward the friend might not be love, but just a list after the attention he gave you and it is easy to fall for it because you don't have to deal with the other stuff that comes with a permanent relationship, but if you somehow convinced his your love you should tell your H and plan on D ASAP it will hurt him but at least he will eventually respect you for that otherwise if you want to stay married you and H should work harder at improving your R may be a marriage counseling would help, and you should let the friend know about your D and agree to stay away from each other when I say away I mean no contact at all even the "innocent" ones, these are the 2 possible scenarios but some people go with a 3rd scenario which is Fall for the temptation and have an Affair, I hope you are better than that Do not play with fire you are risking your marriage and dignity.
Recommended Posts