queenie01 Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 Ok so my boyfriend broke up with me...gave me no reasons either. He said if its meant to be then we will get back together and be stronger. I have only talked to him twice thru email and its been over a week. Yesterday I emailed him some pics I had from my bday party and he didnt reply at all...obviously he didnt like the pics....and to make all matters worse we work for the same company but in different depts..its a huge company so we rarely see each other but usually run into each other once a day. Today i saw him head on and he wont even look at me...does anyone know why?? I didnt do anything to him and we didnt end on bad terms. Basically he said he was having feelings of doubt about us and that something was missing.... So now im left with all these unanswered questions and a broken heart. I cant figure out why he wont even say hi to me?? And to top it all off a week ago he sent me a text saying "how about I keep your stuff thats at my house and we can get together in a couple weeks to talk and see how we feel" whats that about??Help!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 You have only one option: wait and see what happens. Do not continue to contact him. Every time you do, you lessen your chances that he will talk to you again. Right now, he wants nothing to do with you or your relationship, so anything you do other than leave him completely alone will be seen by him as unwelcome pressure. Don't pin your hopes on that 'leaving his stuff at your place' thing. A week ago, he had at least some faint concern for you in order for him to say something that he thought would make the process less painful for you. But... today, it is apparent that he no longer even has a faint concern. He won't even look at you or speak to you. Stop contacting him and prevent him from contacting you. Forget what he said in the past, and watch his actions in the present. Those actions he does in the present are the only ones that matter now. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 Frankly, your better option is to write him off and get over him. He has been extremely rude to you...and is obviously trying to send a loud message to you. Try to get the message. He is rude...he wants out of your life, at least for now. Don't try to stick around until he has no choice but to get extremely rude and nasty. That will be his next step in message sending to you. If you want your stuff, get it NOW...don't wait. Link to post Share on other sites
Author queenie01 Posted May 10, 2005 Author Share Posted May 10, 2005 Should I take it personal that he wont look at me or say hello when he sees me? Do you think maybe he cant face me? As much as i would like to get my stuff back I really dont want to contact him at all...im trying to give him his time. I told him on friday to take the time he needs and do what you gotta do and you know how to get ahold of me..and he wrote back saying "thanks thats very big of you, i appreciate it" Whatever that means... then i emailed him some pictures on monday and he didnt respond at all.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author queenie01 Posted May 10, 2005 Author Share Posted May 10, 2005 Ok so my boyfriend broke up with me...gave me no reasons either. He said if its meant to be then we will get back together and be stronger. I have only talked to him twice thru email and its been over a week. Yesterday I emailed him some pics I had from my bday party and he didnt reply at all...obviously he didnt like the pics....and to make all matters worse we work for the same company but in different depts..its a huge company so we rarely see each other but usually run into each other once a day. Today i saw him head on and he wont even look at me...does anyone know why?? I didnt do anything to him and we didnt end on bad terms. Basically he said he was having feelings of doubt about us and that something was missing.... So now im left with all these unanswered questions and a broken heart. I cant figure out why he wont even say hi to me?? And to top it all off a week ago he sent me a text saying "how about I keep your stuff thats at my house and we can get together in a couple weeks to talk and see how we feel" whats that about??Help!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 Its not that he can't face you, its that he doesn't want to. You can continue to place yourself under his feet and wait for a reconciliation that isn't going to happen, or you can break this painful cycle. How to break this cycle? Take control of the situation: Go home, pack up his stuff and then leave it in a box on his desk at work with no note or explanation except for a post-it requesting that your property be returned to you in the same manner within the business week. If it is not, you will report it as stolen. Then initiate full 'no contact', and keep any at-work contact strictly professional. It will take an enormous amount of strength and courage to do this, but standing up for yourself is not an easy thing sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author queenie01 Posted May 10, 2005 Author Share Posted May 10, 2005 Well i dont have any of his stuff...he only has my stuff at his place and he text messaged me last tuesday saying how about i keep your stuff and we can get together in a couple weeks to talk and see how we feel. I cant help but think he is hurting too..I thought maybe thats why he wont look at me, hes trying to get me out of his mind.. but maybe you are right! All I know is it feels terrible to see him and not say hi... Link to post Share on other sites
outdated Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 Nows the time to turn the tables in your favor. Do not contact him, and if he contacts you and you feel the need to respond, be quick about it. Leave him shaking in his boots. I like the line "Can't talk right now, got a big night planned." Even if that means watching Adult Swim until four in the morning- it doesn't matter. Him not knowing what the big night is will drive him crazy. Yes, this is a game, but life is a game, and it's right time for you to take your pride back. If you're a Seinfeld fan- it's time to get back the hand. Play it how you will, it's beginning to work for me. All of a sudden, two months after she broke up with me, I'm the one dangling the carrot. And I'm not afraid to admit, it's a sweet carrot, and she knows in her heart that she f***ed up, and if she wants me back, she's the one that's gonna do the work. Meanwhile, I'm gonna get on with my life and get back "in touch" with some girls I knew before her. Sure I still have some bad days, but suck it up young friend and the world will be yours again soon enough. Don't sit around and wait, make something happen for yourself. In two months, I've gotten a new job, formed a new band, and reinvented myself into something bigger and stronger. She may come back, she may not, but I, and YOU, are too hot a commodity to be sitting around moping. Don't join the dark side. Good luck, and remember, someone loves you, even if they don't know it yet. Link to post Share on other sites
Marshbear Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 He doesn't want to look at you or say hi because he is uncomfortable around you and doesn't want any contact. No eye contact and no speaking. Your relationship is over, as far as he is concerned. I don't know how your relationship was but you deserve better. I know its tough but there will be someone else who has no doubts about you. It's his loss so suck it up and let him see that you are not stewing over him and could care less. It's a new chapter in your life so turn the page and begin... Link to post Share on other sites
Author queenie01 Posted May 10, 2005 Author Share Posted May 10, 2005 My bf broke up with me a little over a week ago and we work at the same company so have run into each other a few times.... does anyone know why he wouldnt be able to look at me or say hello? we didnt end on bad terms at all... Basically he said he needs time to know if he is happier, and he told me that via email on friday. Im just at a loss and very confused. What is the best advice for me, to iniate no contact at all? Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 Yes, no contact would be a great idea. Link to post Share on other sites
Author queenie01 Posted May 10, 2005 Author Share Posted May 10, 2005 Why do people who dump you write emails saying they are sorry and that if its meant to be we will get back together... seriously what is the point?? My ex has said probably about 10 times within the past week "if its meant to be we will realize it" or if its meant to be I will realize it and hopefully we can get back together... or better yet, "time apart will let us both know if "us" was right...only time will tell! does anyone know the point of this?? Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 To lessen the blow to you, and somehow make himself seem less to blame in the situation. "Leaving it up to fate" sounds a lot nicer than the brutal reality of it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author queenie01 Posted May 10, 2005 Author Share Posted May 10, 2005 Did I mess up because i emailed him on Friday - a week after we broke up? Link to post Share on other sites
debs Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 queenie my heart goes out to you *sigh* We can speculate all we want as to why we were dumped but the fact remains we were! I hope you deal with the shock of it and move on the guy has moved on and feels he doesn't owe you anything in regards to an explanation. Some of us on LS never get closure, we arrive at the fact it is over in our own way on our own terms. Link to post Share on other sites
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