Lois_Griffin Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 If I tried to separate today and scraped every way I could, I'd come up with $500 tops. Just a room rental starts at $700 here. Even if we sold the current home there is no way I could find two places to live on my income without moving to another area with more affordable homes or apartments. As suggested, I'll check with an attorney to see what they advise and what options I might not be aware of. What the hell? Does your wife think she can just sit on her lazy ass for the rest of her life while YOU support her? Your kids aren't infants and they're not toddlers. For god's sakes, the 15 year old can babysit the 7 and 11 year olds after school until she gets home from WORK. Tons of women do this, is your wife special and exempt from actually supporting herself? I'm assuming working is a foreign concept to her. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 Do you think your kids can't pick up on this marriage dynamic and it's bedroom problems? They can. They are watching you closely. Learning that this is what a relationship is. Link to post Share on other sites
TrustedthenBusted Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 If you have made your needs clear, reasonable, and explicit, and she is telling you she will not meet them, or even try to meet them, you're already done. She's just living on the free lunch program now where you play security guard. Cheating ( which is what it is if you do it without her knowledge or consent ) will only make things worse. Besides, you'd be limiting yourself to only the kind of women who would sneak around with a married guy. Not Best In Show if you catch my drift. Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 To me I don't think whether the kids can stay at the same school or not should be the driving reason for not getting a divorce. Kids have to change schools all the time for such a wide variety of reasons, most are way less traumatic than having mom and dad in a marriage with no love and dating other people. (My 6 & 8 year old have gone to 5 schools each all ready and my wife and I have never even moved during that time). And if that really is your biggest concern, I've seen some pretty unique ways around it. One I heard of is, the parents keep the house and the kids live in all the time. The parents each get an apartment nearby that they move into on the days they aren't with the kids. Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 OP - your biggest problem, in any scenario is a partner that is adversarial in every dimension that is not her decision. There is no compromise, team work, or appeasing on her side nor does she seem to have any desire to even look at that approach. So, that alone, will make negotiating anything with her very difficult as she has no desire to do so. So, unfortunately, it leaves you the only option of divorce and some peace of mind at the end of that road. I agree with oldshirt to really research everything, get things hammered out and plan for it to be very contentious. She may surprise you but so far that has been her behavioral pattern. Your kids are not learning healthy traits observing this marriage. She is not healthy for them. My parents stayed together for the kids and it was toxic for everyone. I don't advise doing so. Yes change is hard, changing schools can be hard, but they will adjust. Check your state on therapy for minors and whether both parents need to agree (my state they do and my husband was blocked from getting his kids into therapy from his ex wife). Link to post Share on other sites
sheberiding Posted September 18, 2015 Share Posted September 18, 2015 You are fooling yourself if you think that your kids don't know what's going on in your marriage. The are learning about marriage from what the see and don't see. So, what do you want to teach them. Link to post Share on other sites
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