3 yrs separated and lonely

[CarmenMiranda]

Hello everyone. I used to come on here when I was going through my separation and found it could sometimes be helpful so I'm back.

 

Background:

Married 21 years

Should have left long before I did for many reasons including alcohol abuse, manipulation, lack of financial responsibility, unfaithfulness etc. But this post is not about that.

 

I've dated and had short-lived relationships since then, but I'm often really lonely, and tonight is one of those times.

 

This is my problem, and I'm sure I'll get some flak for it. But it's just true, so please hear me out and don't judge. I am not "full of myself" and in fact I think the only truly meaningful things in life are your experiences and relationships with others.

 

That being said,

 

I seem to be too much for most men. I am a highly advanced and competitive athlete, and also a CEO and entrepreneur. I really am a very accepting, giving, loving and easygoing person who dedicates time an energy to helping others, but I also have a high intellect and am also tall and very attractive (Stunning is the word I hear a lot. Apparently I also look like I'm about 10 years younger than I am. This is nice but also problematic.)

 

So great, there must be some middle-aged successful guy who'd be great for me, right? Which brings me to the next part of the problem.

 

I am very youthful, and fairly alternative. My friends are mostly much younger than I am not because I choose people based on age (I also have some friends in their 80s) but just because of how I choose to spend my life. I love to go to music festivals and am addicted to new indie music. My business tends to be more youth-oriented and I like to do things like go camping and traveling to different countries, and I always like to try new things, new foods, new places.

 

Most men over 45 are slowing down on many levels and getting physically lazy. I am not knocking them. But that is definitely not where I'm at.

 

I really did not realize all this was a problem until I began dating more seriously. Since then, I find the only guys who are intent on an actual relationship with me are in their 20s and trying to convince me that age doesn't matter (sorry, too young). Most men who are anywhere close to my age I either have nothing in common with or they are attracted to me and want to date me until they find out enough to be intimidated. They seem to want someone needier. Less self-sufficient.

 

Now, it's very very easy for me to get dates. That is not the problem. The problem is finding someone I feel there may be any future with - I'm not talking marriage or something here, just something real. Not just sex.

 

I couldn't care less how much money a guy makes as long as he's not looking for a sugar-momma but I do need someone who I can share at least some parts of my life with, and who is ok with someone successful but also intellectual, athletic, a hippy and, oh yeah, 49 years old.

It's a messed-up combination, but it is me.

 

How the heck do I resolve this? Where can I possibly find someone anything like me, or at least who accepts me as I am?