Jhackm29 Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 Hello me and my ex girlfriend were together for 12 years we had our ups and downs but stuck through it. In the 9th year together I bought us a home. We moved in and for three years we were living together. I will not lie or glorify myself I made a lot of mistakes first being basing our relationship to others and two me being a consistent worrier and third me focusing more on work then on us. It was not until the 12th year I had started to see work was not everything and wanted to start a family with her and let go of my insecurities That I was ready to start the next step marriage and children. However this was to little to late. After a business trip I notice a distance between us she was done. It started with her saying she felt indifferent about me she saw us living together as best friends and she was done after that I spent a lot of time trying to show I cared and loved us. I even proposed to her. She tried to give us another chance but she was already opening dating profiles and seeing other man. After I found out I was broken. She then again tried to give it another shot. For a month we were working on it. Then my grand father died after the funeral she told me she was leaving for good. I found out she was talking to a guy from online. They seem happy from what I hear. For a year and few months I had not heard a word from her until today when she texted me out of nowhere about her having my deceased fathers belongings she happen to have? a very vague message almost business like message with a so sorry to bother and a telling me who this message is from like I don't recognize this number. It literally took me back to the pain. I had a whole year to think of my actions and faults. I still love her but understand why we did not work out the thing that has been killing me the most was the best friend I lost. I just am not sure how to handle this I do miss her and think about her daily but I just regret how it all ended. We're both 29 I feel like I'm a joke in her eyes. how she tells stories bout me to her new better man. Any ways I have not replied back. Not sure if I should. Please help what is the angle here? Link to post Share on other sites
Qboro90 Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 You have a couple options. Do you want the belongings from your father that she has in her possession? If they are something you genuinely want to have back then you can text her back. Say "thanks for reaching out, I actually was hoping I could get those things. Do you want me to come pick them up or have you drop it off? Let me know what and when works for you. Hope all is well" and leave it at that.. That doesn't imply anything and she will reply with how she wants to exchange the items. When you see her that's when you'll have a better idea of her state of mind and feelings towards you. Don't go in and confess "I miss you I made so many mistakes and I wish I could've treated you the way you deserve". Let her bring up the topic of your relationship. If she says anything to the degree of missing you then you can broach the topic with her but she may be completely happy with her new guy so you don't want to expose yourself and have her reject those feelings again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SoThatHappened Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 Tell her, "Thanks. Please mail them or I'll have someone pick them up. Hope all is well." See what happens after that. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 Does she really have some of your father's things? Do you want them back? If so then reply in a business like way yes please post them to me, or something. If not - do not reply. It will not achieve anything except pain. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 Listen to Pete. Chances are those items are nothing to write home about. She's had a year and is now probably reflecting on how crappy she treated you at the end. She wants to find out if you hate her or not and she'll be able to gage that from your response. So, give her nothing. Don't let her know where your head is at. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mcnulty Posted August 19, 2015 Share Posted August 19, 2015 Totally agree with Chi town, get the stuff if it means something to you, but give her nothing emotionally. She's trying to ease her guilt, that simple mate. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts