CalmandCarryOn Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 Long story short - dated girl and she broke up right before Christmas with me despite the relationship seeming great and well-off. Caught me off guard and her reason for breaking up was because she was about to study abroad that Spring and was confused, worried she may find someone else, and wanted to explore. Broke my heart, she left and I went through all the motions and confusion. We don't talk for over a year after she returns to my school from studying abroad. After a year has passed, I felt like I needed to tell her I forgave her for what she did. We had a great convo and reconciled as friends. I had moved on and all was well. Now it's a year and 8 months since our BU and I suddenly felt the need to reach out to her and message wishing her congrats on being accepted into another study abroad program. From there, it led into lengthy Facebook convos as we talked about our upcoming adventures. Not short little messages, but paragraphs. All that to say, since reaching out to her I suddenly miss her a lot. I miss our talks and her in general. Not sure why I feel this way after knowing I had moved on. Feel like telling her I miss her but fear that could destroy any healthy relationship as friends and going on to live our lives. I truly wanted to reconcile and move on, which I felt peace to and accomplished but now am missing her out of the blue after feeling like I've relapsed. Like I'm waking up in the middle of the night thinking about her. Link to post Share on other sites
loveiswar101 Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 How's it going ? Even after all the time you have put your hand back on the hot plate. I'd say deep down you have not moved on as you say. You really have to step back and think what you want. You could A) Tell her what you think, but be prepared to be disappointed. OR B) Walk away. I honestly don't think friends will work as you still have clear feelings for her. My ex wanted to be friends and believes still does, this keeps her happy as we get on so well together BUT where does that leave me....no man's land. Feel if you go down friends track it will not work out. Make a decision and stick with for your own health. Best of luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CalmandCarryOn Posted August 18, 2015 Author Share Posted August 18, 2015 How's it going ? Even after all the time you have put your hand back on the hot plate. I'd say deep down you have not moved on as you say. You really have to step back and think what you want. You could A) Tell her what you think, but be prepared to be disappointed. OR B) Walk away. I honestly don't think friends will work as you still have clear feelings for her. My ex wanted to be friends and believes still does, this keeps her happy as we get on so well together BUT where does that leave me....no man's land. Feel if you go down friends track it will not work out. Make a decision and stick with for your own health. Best of luck. Yeah, I wish I could see the outcomes of A and B. I feel like we've matured since almost 2 years back Link to post Share on other sites
loveiswar101 Posted August 19, 2015 Share Posted August 19, 2015 Yeah, I wish I could see the outcomes of A and B. I don't believe it's about outcomes...that's you being selfish (sorry to be harsh). Can't have your cake and eat it. No crystal ball can be found here. It's all about what YOU want, with pleasure sometimes comes pain. There's a third option and that's take it slow and see what develops, but so similar to option A. If not the outcome you want pain is certain and more likely a relapse. This won't help but only real sure answer is to walk away. But were all only human and maybe you want to give it a try and go for it. Either way best of luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CalmandCarryOn Posted August 20, 2015 Author Share Posted August 20, 2015 I don't believe it's about outcomes...that's you being selfish (sorry to be harsh). Can't have your cake and eat it. No crystal ball can be found here. It's all about what YOU want, with pleasure sometimes comes pain. There's a third option and that's take it slow and see what develops, but so similar to option A. If not the outcome you want pain is certain and more likely a relapse. This won't help but only real sure answer is to walk away. But were all only human and maybe you want to give it a try and go for it. Either way best of luck. Wait...selfish? I'm confused... I'm not afraid of rejection because in this time, I'm not losing anything. Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinaz Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 Calm, I'm curious. Have you dated much or had a R/S since you and this ex broke up? Link to post Share on other sites
Author CalmandCarryOn Posted August 25, 2015 Author Share Posted August 25, 2015 Calm, I'm curious. Have you dated much or had a R/S since you and this ex broke up? Why would that make a difference? Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted August 25, 2015 Share Posted August 25, 2015 Why would that make a difference? Because the more you date, the less likely you are to circle back to a failed relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Jimmyjackson Posted August 25, 2015 Share Posted August 25, 2015 I think you should only entertain the possibility of "making a move" if you get any indication that she is also feeling that way by what she says. This could very well be a one off situation when exes catch up and it doesn't go any further than that. Link to post Share on other sites
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