Concernedgf Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 I'm in a long distance relationship, we love in different states. My boyfriend has a quite new Co. He and his other male Co. Worker talked about her when I was with them once and I remember that my bf said that she's really pretty. Few weeks after my boyfriend had some tyckets to a game, I was not there that weekend, his male friends couldn't go and he told me that he had said to her that he'd go with her but at the same time he said, but maybe we shouldn't, it might be inappropriate or a bad idea (not syre which one). She'd said that she would go. Later that day he told me about their conversation and it really bothered me, and to be honest I felt rather sad. He kind of asked for a permission to go with her, and I felt that he sent out strange signals to her saying he'd go but they shouldn't.., i made a whole thing out of it, which I actually really regret. I know that I should let him choose his friends, and that they might be female sometimes. I know I have to trust him, the way he did it and that I know he think she's pretty really bothers me. How do I make this right? Am I to sensitive about this? I feel so torned, and it seem to me he took it as he shouldn't invite any girl to the game, which was really not what I meant or wanted. I feel controlling and I don't want to be, that would make him leave if anything. I'm also worried vecause he once left a girl for another girl he had befriended (not for me). I guess I shouldn't judge him for his past, but it is hard. Please give me some advide, can I fix this? Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 he took it as he shouldn't invite any girl to the game, which was really not what I meant or wanted. Then what did you mean or want? That he can invite girls to games as long as they're not pretty? Or he can invite any girl apart from this one? he once left a girl for another girl he had befriended (not for me). I guess I shouldn't judge him for his past, but it is hard. You absolutely should judge him by his past. The best predictor of future behaviour, is past behaviour. Has he changed since he did that to her? Has he explained why he did it, and what he learned from the experience? Those are the questions I would be asking him if I were you. I am not saying don't give him a chance... what I am saying is, you need to talk to him and figure out if he's changed or not. Don't just ignore it. Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 When in a relationship people do not need opposite sex friends. What he did was take her on a date. The old I had an extra ticket excuse. Pro sport tickets are expensive. So who spends that much money to buy two tickets and not use them? To me this is just another variation of I drank too much and did not mean to do it excuse. Excuses, excuses, lies all lies. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Concernedgf Posted August 18, 2015 Author Share Posted August 18, 2015 It just kind of bothered me that he think she´s pretty and mentioned it.. However, I wouldn't want him to spend a lot of time with any girl or grew a strong relationship with another girl. I guess if it was on ocassions I miught be more accepting. I don't mind if he spends time with women as long asit's not solo. I don't know if I'm being to controlling in this matter though. I don't know if I had the right to be upset, he said he understand why actually, but it still hunts me in a way. I'm affraid I'll make him pull away from me Regarding the tickets, he offered me to go, but I couldn't come visit that weekend (we're living in different states). He had asked most of his male friends in the office, before kindof asking her. It botheres me that he aksed even though he felt it wasn't a great idea. :/ Link to post Share on other sites
Author Concernedgf Posted August 18, 2015 Author Share Posted August 18, 2015 I was just really sad and I told him that it wuld feel as if he were on a date with another woman. He understood and said he would't talk to her anymore, only regarding their job. That made me feel horrible, I mean I didn't mean that he couldn't talk to her, or go out with his co-workers, I just didn't like the idea of them going to a gam a saturday night. Am I too much, or is this reasonable. I want to be fair, and I do trust him, but it is just a fact that feelings can appear if two people start to spend time alone together and I want him to be caucious. without being oúncomfortable in our relationship. I would assume he would't like me to go out with some guy either. Link to post Share on other sites
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