onelove89 Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 Hey everyone. I'm in a ****ty position and I put myself in it. I have ocd and social anxiety but if you seen me you would not think I had any issues but I do. I had a girl for 4 years that I met online and lived together 3 years. She left 2 years ago and I have been single ever since. I have really bad anxiety becausei am super insecure and have very low self esteem because of my ex and the things I let bother me. I feel pathetic. I mean I am trying so hard. I am 26 and take college classes online. And had a part time job but got in a car accident and was off work for 12 weeks and now am out of a job too but I'm even too anxious to get a job because I always quit from social anxiety. I was on anti depressants which helped but have been off 5 years. I will literally go to college campus for 5 hours and see 20 girl I want to talk to and can't do it. I can't even say hi. I don't get it. I am just feeling hopeless. I have an auto immune issue that prevents me from lifting weights but I'm lean and have a good tones body I'm only 5'8 but I can't get past this. Idk why I am so -Afraid. Link to post Share on other sites
PogoStick Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 You have to forget about women and focus on fixing the other things. The women will come naturally if you get your life together. 1. Get therapy, SSRIs, whatever you need to help anxiety. 2. Get a job. You'll feel better about yourself. 3. Finish your schooling. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 You need therapy beyond what can be offered on a message board to address your issues. That is not to say they can't be over come but that they will need professional intervention. Your life is certainly not over. Call a lawyer. You may be entitled to damages from the car accident which could help pay for school. Also ask if your employer fired you wrongfully after the accident. If you got one GF & sustained that relationship for a lengthy period, you can get another one. You simply have to get out of your own head which may require professional help. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
oberkeat Posted August 19, 2015 Share Posted August 19, 2015 (edited) OP, you seem to want a woman to rescue you. You think that if you just had a girlfriend it would will solve your problems and make you feel better. But it doesn't work that way. First of all, even if you did find a girlfriend, she wouldn't stick around very long, because you have nothing going for you. You have no job no money no confidence. No woman wants to be in a relationship where she is the center of your universe. That's too much pressure. You're doing things backwards. You are not ready for a girlfriend at this point in your life. You need to get your life in order first and then think about finding a girlfriend. Edited August 19, 2015 by oberkeat 2 Link to post Share on other sites
LostOne1 Posted August 19, 2015 Share Posted August 19, 2015 You have to forget about women and focus on fixing the other things. The women will come naturally if you get your life together. 1. Get therapy, SSRIs, whatever you need to help anxiety. 2. Get a job. You'll feel better about yourself. 3. Finish your schooling. ^ This.... I was in your position once. What I did was work on myself. I improved my social skills by forcing myself to talk to groups of people. At first it was awkward as hell.... I went to school and got a degree/ I got a kick ass job I hit the gym 3 times a week. And so far... I feel it's paying off because I know come across as a confident, happy, know what I want in life type of guy. And, I've never felt so good... though I am STILL improving myself on a daily/weekly and monthly basis.... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
PogoStick Posted August 19, 2015 Share Posted August 19, 2015 Congrats Lost, I'm doing some similar things. I'm working on my 2nd degree now which will lead to better job prospects. This year sucks because of where I'm living and my dating prospects are poor. However, next summer I'll be able to move anywhere in the US with a good job. Enduring the discomfort for now with a good payoff on the horizon. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted August 19, 2015 Share Posted August 19, 2015 They say there are 10 steps you can take which “consistently tend to make people's lives happier and more fulfilling”. Do things for others Connect with people Take care of your body Notice the world around you Keep learning new things Have goals to look forward to Find ways to bounce back from difficulties Take a positive approach Become comfortable with who you are Be part of something bigger that gives you purpose and meaning in life 2 Link to post Share on other sites
LostOne1 Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 They say there are 10 steps you can take which “consistently tend to make people's lives happier and more fulfilling”. Do things for others Connect with people Take care of your body Notice the world around you Keep learning new things Have goals to look forward to Find ways to bounce back from difficulties Take a positive approach Become comfortable with who you are Be part of something bigger that gives you purpose and meaning in life Nicely said.... 10 Things I will pass on to others too. Thanks for this Satu 1 Link to post Share on other sites
johndoe2 Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 I have an auto immune issue that prevents me from lifting weights but I'm lean and have a good tones body I'm only 5'8 but I can't get past this. That's 3 inches taller than me. And at 5'8 you're solidly within 1 standard deviation from the mean, assuming you're American, so, um, congratulations? Link to post Share on other sites
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