Re: 7 year itch 2

[Tony T]

The first step is to get you to talk to him. You can't work things out if he's giving you the silent treatment.

 

Then you need to sit down together and set some ground rules. The one you must insist upon is when he asks questions which at this time seem intrusive, you will simply be kind but let him know that's not an appropriate question.

 

In most relationships where there is trust, it is a very normal thing for one partner to ask the another where he/she has been. It has NOTHING to do with mistrust. It's more of a conversational thing. You need to get to that point. As for asking questions like "who was that in the background", those too can be asked out of curiosity. I know if I'm talking to my lady, I'd love to know. If she tells me it's a male prostitute, well..OK, that's her business.

 

Both of you need to evolve as human beings and as a couple so such petty nonsense doesn't interfere with the loving atmostphere of what can be a very healthy relationship.

 

Also, this whole thing has nothing to do with a seven-year itch. It's has more to do with adjustments and agreements that should have been made long, long ago in your relationship. Some of it actually has to do with one or both of you being ready for a very stable companionship with excellent communication and the absense of conflict. Believe me, the way two people live IS A DECISION they make. It's just as easy to decide not to argue as it is to decide to stir crap all day.

 

But it's never too late. Just don't allow yourself to become so upset about his irrational behavior. Just talk to him calmly and work through it. Petty arguments are no substitute for sane conflict resolution. Once you get past these hurdles, you will have a great relationship...and you may also be bored to tears. Go figure!