Inability to Cope with the Best Breakup Ever

[HandsomeBoh]

Hi everyone,

 

Unlike most people on the site, I actually had a great breakup after 3 years of the most fabulous relationship ever.

 

By great breakup I mean that she met me face-to-face, articulated her problems clearly (my depression creating a negative attitude towards life and people around me leading her to slowly stop loving me), continued to support commitments to me she had made beforehand, never fed me any breadcrumbs, remained civil and never blocked me on any social media nor tried to initiate contact for any purpose.

 

It was a completely clean break. Professionally executed and perfect. And I must admit, being my first emotionally charged breakup, I begged and cried and tried to get her back. We all know that only has the reverse effect, and I saw how it made her annoyed and fearful of me.

 

I still love her incredibly. More than anything in the whole world. All I want to do is be the person she deserves to be with. Her perfect breakup just makes me feel worse about myself, theres this implacable guilt that I had responded to her goodwill and intentions with childish pathetic typical dumpee behaviour, and that I didn't have the right to be this sad and in such denial.

 

Through it all, she continued to behave so gracefully and attractively. I was so impressed by it, I think I fell in love with her even more. And this makes things even harder. There have been three objectively prettier girls fighting over my attention, but I don't want any of them. I just want my perfect princess back.

 

So in the end, a perfect breakup can feel even worse. On the bright side, I've been hard at work and therapy to try to become the guy she deserves. Even if she never takes me back, hopefully I'll still be a better person.

[fireflywy]

Well, its tough. Sometimes people actually act SWEETER to you in a break up then they did during the course of a relationship. Many times this is just to let you down easier because they know they don't want you back and no longer want any drama associated with the relationship.

 

Its tough, but I went through some similar things.

 

As for the dating, don't do things you're not comfortable with but don't avoid it if you are waiting for the ex to step back in your life as it may never happen.

 

Keep up with self improvement.

[La.Primavera]

Sorry but what you have described is anything but the best breakup in the world because of the effect it is having on you. Instead you are idealizing the breakup and her which isn't going to help you move on.

 

If there was such a thing as the perfect breakup it would be that neither person was in love with the other and the breakup was mutual with no regrets. Does that apply to your situation? From what you described, no. You fell apart and begged to work things out because you love her. Sadly, she doesn't feel the same way.

 

If you want to idealize her as this perfect princess then you are free to do so, but know that you run the risk of making it impossible to move on from her and find the love you deserve.