Mrin Posted August 19, 2015 Share Posted August 19, 2015 Honestly it wouldn't bother me much. But then again, I've been to a lot of clothing optional hot springs. They're not the swinging sexed up party scenes you think they are. In my experience, the vast majority of people have grooming issues and shouldn't be naked... ever. What has been seen cannot be unseen. Just my two cents. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted August 19, 2015 Share Posted August 19, 2015 I'm totally with you on this but I do acknowledge the old adage "different strokes for different folks". Some couples swing, some guys enjoy cuckold, some people love 3somes, and some people are nudists. We don't know anything about the organization she is part of so it's tough to pass judgment on it. In my world this is unimaginable. A nature of a work place with many people, is that it contains different kinds of people. So it's unlikely for any work place. Link to post Share on other sites
S_A Posted August 19, 2015 Share Posted August 19, 2015 It wouldn't bother me at all. But that's because I know how my GF is. She has told me that if she really wanted to cheat/date/hook up with another guy, she'd dump me first. She'd also prefer for me to do the same than to go behind her back and cheat. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted August 19, 2015 Share Posted August 19, 2015 Honestly it wouldn't bother me much. But then again, I've been to a lot of clothing optional hot springs. They're not the swinging sexed up party scenes you think they are. In my experience, the vast majority of people have grooming issues and shouldn't be naked... ever. What has been seen cannot be unseen. Just my two cents. You don't what it was like man. You don't. [giggles hysterically doing his best 'Nam laugh] You weren't there. You weren't there man. Took me a good week to get a hard on again and I still had flashbacks to The Mole. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kgcolonel Posted August 19, 2015 Share Posted August 19, 2015 Just a thought from someone who when I was younger and also raised very conservatively Christian and very much still actively practicing my walk. My personal experience (see my earlier posts on social nudism) this has very little if anything to do about sex. My wife of 32 years and I started engaging in social nudism a few years ago at a nude beach. We now are members of a nudist club and frankly hate having to wear swimsuits when in the presence of those that would be offended. The liberation we both feel when swimming is like none other. It isn't about what you look like but how you feel when being nude. I wish I had started this earlier in life but am very glad to have had an understanding spouse to be able to practice it now. I get the discomfort of your fiancé going without you but I thought that explaining that this isn't about sex but liberation might help. Personally I think you'd really do your relationship good if you told your fiancé that she didn't need to isolate herself and stand out by wearing the suit. She will standout by doing this. Giving her this blessing would tell her how much you love and trust her. Others might not agree but after 32 years of being in a faithful marriage this is what I would hope I'd do years ago given the chance. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author greaterdevil Posted August 19, 2015 Author Share Posted August 19, 2015 Maybe conference isn't the right word--I'll call it a convention. Basically I guess I'll just say, it's a convention for natural perfumers and essential oil distillers. My fiancé is an apprentice for a pretty successful natural perfumer and is accompanying her and one other female apprentice. The resort is not a nude resort. It is a holistic retreat area where clothing is required everywhere except the hot springs. And again, my concern is not that she will be unfaithful. i would honestly trust this woman with my life. she is the best person I have ever known and I am absolutely not concerned about her cheating on me and not even concerned about her lying to me. Chi Town D--your response was very helpful, the original one. except I disagree with not being able to trust her to wear a suit. if she tells me she will, I believe she will. but i had a conversation with her and established my boundaries and compromised. Sweet Workaholic--thank you also very much for your very insightful reply. honestly, I think this was the CORE issue. when i expressed my concern about mixed company in the hot springs, she took it as me being concerned about her remaining faithful, when for me it was actually discomfort concerning the mutual nudity because for me naked bodies outside of a clinical setting are intimate and for partners. for her, the nudity was not a huge deal. she immediately got defensive because to her, i must have been assuming something would happen. i talked with her and brought up our different upbringings and used your comment a template for my talking points. I let her know that neither of us were wrong, but that I would feel better if she promised not to soak with anyone but her female friends. Obviously there might still be other men in the spring, but just not to soak as a group with any new male friends. she agreed and i think understands where I was coming from. I feel good about the resolution to the situation. In a perfect world I could go with her, because it sounds fun, but I can't afford to and have to work, so Im glad she agreed to a couple of compromises and I trust her to keep her word. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Sweet Workaholic Posted August 19, 2015 Share Posted August 19, 2015 You don't what it was like man. You don't. [giggles hysterically doing his best 'Nam laugh] You weren't there. You weren't there man. Took me a good week to get a hard on again and I still had flashbacks to The Mole. LOL. well done. I mean, I actually did laugh out loud. I've been to lots of nude spas/ hot springs. After 15 minutes, it's completely irrelevant. I respect someone's POV if you are creeped out by this but to me it's a matter of indifference. Yes, most of the people there aren't sexually attractive naked. On the other hand, most of the people in my office aren't sexually attractive clothed. I don't spend time thinking about either phenomenon. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Floveet Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 It wouldn't bother me at all. But that's because I know how my GF is. She has told me that if she really wanted to cheat/date/hook up with another guy, she'd dump me first. She'd also prefer for me to do the same than to go behind her back and cheat. That's cute . If i had to count the amount of girls who said that ! I don't say she is not honest. But well on the moment... **** happens 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kilgore Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 It wouldn't bother me, fwiw. Really? I am not at all a jealous person but that might be a bit much for me 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 OP, update: she agreed to wear a swimsuit she did this only after you complained? - hmmm I wonder why this convention lasts 5 days, seems a long time to discuss smells? The biggest conference/convention in my health speciality 3 last days and that is for all of the UK, with 100 speakers and 80 exhibitors. I still don't like the sound of this. As a side issue who's paying? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
2nd tyme Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 (edited) The Breitenbush conference is only 2-3 days for holistic teachers and the like. It seems like it is pretty intense, not like a party atmosphere, no alcohol allowed on the property, etc. Its not a resort, more like a camp and sanctuary. A zen place for old hippies. No cell service or internet anywhere, BTW. I wouldn't worry about it. Edited August 20, 2015 by 2nd tyme 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Try Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 I let her know that neither of us were wrong, but that I would feel better if she promised not to soak with anyone but her female friends. Obviously there might still be other men in the spring, but just not to soak as a group with any new male friends. she agreed and i think understands where I was coming from. The problem with these types of understandings is that they never cover all of the bases, and the holes allow them to go around them. For instance she could interpret your understanding to mean that although she will not soak with any "new male friends", if she meets a guy that she knows already it will be OK to soak with him even if he is nude. Also, even if she means it at the time when she says that she will wear a swimsuit, if her boss and coworker are nude, and other people that they meet at the conference come up and chat with them in the nude, she will feel the pressure to also go nude, and they will all just agree not to tell you as they minimize your value system as being wrong. It appears that the two of you do not have shared values. You are fooling yourself if you think that your values will be her guide. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Try Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 (edited) The Breitenbush conference is only 2-3 days for holistic teachers and the like. It seems like it is pretty intense, not like a party atmosphere, no alcohol allowed on the property, etc. Its not a resort, more like a camp and sanctuary. A zen place for old hippies. When I think "hippie", I think nudity and free love making. Are you trying to make the OP feel better or worse? LOL!!! Edited August 20, 2015 by Try Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 When I think "hippie", I think nudity and free love making. Are you trying to make the OP feel better or worse? LOL!!! That was then. This is now. Now you're more likely to see people talking about the virtues of self imposed celibacy, colon cleansing, and past life regression. Without the good drugs. But with the nudity. Naked hippies without the drugs is sort of like going to a Phish show without drugs. Mildly amusing for a time but quickly becomes annoying and ultimately unsatisfying. Link to post Share on other sites
m.snow Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 (edited) do you have a friend, best friend? your closest buddy? have him go there to keep an eye out. (of course it has to be a person she cant recognize.) do you know people from there? a cousin perhaps or your brother that she cant recognize. pay for him to go there like a vacation. pays to have good connections. (i did this for a buddy of mine when i was young, her ex-fiance thought she was safe. popped a phone took a picture good bye wedding.) -so you got on with a party girl? in the end its our choice of women. bites doesn't it. -truth is you can feel the cheating vibe on people. we just deny it. also please do reply in kind and say your going there to with your buddies. i hope this is not a case of house guy and party girl. cause that don't work! don't let your christian upbringing hold you back in having a some fun. Edited August 20, 2015 by m.snow Link to post Share on other sites
Discjockey80 Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 Don't know in what universe I would be okay with this...but alas. I know I'd have to be there and be directly involved in whatever she was doing whenever she was naked with everyone else. Just seems common sense. This sounds like her version of a alcohol fueled orgy 'disguised' as a business conference. If your 'device' in your head is prodding you to ask us this question there is already a problem OP. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
drifter777 Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 When I think "hippie", I think nudity and free love making. Are you trying to make the OP feel better or worse? LOL!!! Yeah, well - I lived through those times. All of my hippie friends were high as often as possible. When I hung with them we used to crash wherever we could find a warm place to lie down. And then get high. We were like any other animal only instead of an endless search for food and shelter we had an endless search for dope and shelter. Food? You can feed an amazing number of people on a few dollars worth of rice, spaghetti, and 5-for-a-dollar pot pies. Thank God a few of them were married to girls/women who had real jobs and could pay rent. There would have been zero hippies in Minneapolis without them. And I saw no more sex than I did with my non-hippie friends. We were young and dumb and screwed any girl that would hold still for us. Not much different than today I suppose. The hippie life isn't one to glorify. There were lots of "beautiful people" who were hippies but no more than in the non-hippie world. It was just an excuse to not cut your hair, not have a job, and rub the "establishment" the wrong way. Nothing more. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 This might happen in other countries but with an American company something like this would be a human resources nightmare. No company that doesn't want a lawsuit would have a conference at a place like this which makes the whole thing seem fishy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Try Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 (edited) Do you want to bet that there will be drug use? Edited August 21, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
Try Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 The OP has shares the common moral values of this country. Although there is a minority of Americans that think being nude with other people of the opposite sex is OK, the vast majority of Americans are not OK with this. Even many of the minority that do think being nude with others of the opposite sex is OK, would not do so on a trip without their spouse. If the OP feels this way too, he needs to discuss and agree upon the moral path that they will take as a couple without his values being discounted and dismissed. Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 The problem with these types of understandings is that they never cover all of the bases, and the holes allow them to go around them. For instance she could interpret your understanding to mean that although she will not soak with any "new male friends", if she meets a guy that she knows already it will be OK to soak with him even if he is nude. Also, even if she means it at the time when she says that she will wear a swimsuit, if her boss and coworker are nude, and other people that they meet at the conference come up and chat with them in the nude, she will feel the pressure to also go nude, and they will all just agree not to tell you as they minimize your value system as being wrong. It appears that the two of you do not have shared values. You are fooling yourself if you think that your values will be her guide. Do some of you just automatically expect the worst of people. Has the OP said ANYTHING about this woman showing ANY sign of unfaithfulness? I get it...when you're a hammer, everything is a nail, but some people already have her in the adultress box. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 do you have a friend, best friend? your closest buddy? have him go there to keep an eye out. (of course it has to be a person she cant recognize.) do you know people from there? a cousin perhaps or your brother that she cant recognize. pay for him to go there like a vacation. pays to have good connections. (i did this for a buddy of mine when i was young, her ex-fiance thought she was safe. popped a phone took a picture good bye wedding.) -so you got on with a party girl? in the end its our choice of women. bites doesn't it. -truth is you can feel the cheating vibe on people. we just deny it. also please do reply in kind and say your going there to with your buddies. i hope this is not a case of house guy and party girl. cause that don't work! don't let your christian upbringing hold you back in having a some fun. really???? He's supposed to send a spy now. what a sad world some people must live in.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Try Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 Do some of you just automatically expect the worst of people. Has the OP said ANYTHING about this woman showing ANY sign of unfaithfulness? I get it...when you're a hammer, everything is a nail, but some people already have her in the adultress box. She does not have to be an adulteress for him to think that letting other men see her nude is in and of itself wrong. It is not an as long as she does not have sex with these other men then it is OK decision. According to a 2013 study by Expedia "Only about 5 percent of American beachgoers say they have gone nude at the beach and only a quarter feel comfortable with topless beaches". In other words 75% of Americans are not comfortable with even going to topless (not nude) beaches even if they are not topless themselves. The vast majority of Americans would not be comfortable with this trip, and he does not have to be either, even if he is not worried that she will have sex with someone else. The vocal minority does not get to standard. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 Do some of you just automatically expect the worst of people. Has the OP said ANYTHING about this woman showing ANY sign of unfaithfulness? I get it...when you're a hammer, everything is a nail, but some people already have her in the adultress box. I don't automatically expect the worst out of people but I have lived enough years to be aware of how things are. I have seen the spin and the lies that people pull on trusting partners and a company in the hyper paranoid atmosphere we live in doing something like this just doesn't sit right with me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
m.snow Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 really???? He's supposed to send a spy now. what a sad world some people must live in.... its called reality! people just want to make it a dream world. and fall in love blindly. cause yes santa, unicorns and leprechauns exist. what would make you feel better. wait.. just like my case this is the most opportune moment! like a final test. if she hits it off with some guy at that place. kissing and hugging that's enough. she's already a fiance and marriage is just around the corner. Link to post Share on other sites
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