HansonGirl Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 I am acquainted with a guy, and I am interested in him. we are straddling the line of flirting and being friends. well I finally started dating, and recently I ran into him when i was about to meet up with a date. he was asking all sorts of questions like, where was I going and who was I meeting. I was sort of not sure how to answer that so i was very vague. but anyways, i don't really want to talk to him about this because i don't want us to be "buddies" but at the same time i want him to know that i'm a desirable prospect. so how much should I share if this ever comes up again? I feel like there should be some "strategy"
La.Primavera Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 Try not to play games, it usually backfires. If you really like this guy maybe you should talk about seeing each other exclusively, rather than talking about dating other guys. Just a thought.
Author HansonGirl Posted August 19, 2015 Author Posted August 19, 2015 Try not to play games, it usually backfires. If you really like this guy maybe you should talk about seeing each other exclusively, rather than talking about dating other guys. Just a thought. Ok im not saying i want to play games. I want to know how much to even share with him if he asks me or if it comes up to avoid the friend zone. As i made clear above he was the one asking me a million questions. I am dating but i was trying to not discuss it with him but at the same time im thinking maybe it wouldnt hurt to let him know a tiny bit. Thats all i meant. And talking about seeing him exclusively -- easier said than done. Just because i want that doesnt mean hes going to be on board just because i made him discuss it. We are only flirty not even dating.
d0nnivain Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 Honest but vague. He should know that you have had other dates, or been married. If you have kids they should be divulged. At some point mutual disclosure of the medical aspects of your sexual history need to be discussed -- were either of you ever involved with people who had STDs and are you both clean now? Beyond that, honest but vague. When you bumped into him & he started asking Qs I would have deflected with something along the lines of "Inquisitive, aren't we?" accompanied by a coy smile which should have alerted him to the fact that he was prying. If that didn't work, more blunt: "I'm actually waiting for a date. Since you & I are still figuring out what we're doing." wait a second then add "And I'd really prefer not to have to introduce you two so if you will excuse me." 1
jen1447 Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 Not sure what you mean when you say you don't want to be "buddies" ....? I don't see much reason to keep the fact that you're dating a secret.
Author HansonGirl Posted August 19, 2015 Author Posted August 19, 2015 Not sure what you mean when you say you don't want to be "buddies" ....? I don't see much reason to keep the fact that you're dating a secret. I mean that i don't want to be in the friend zone where we become two platonic friends who discuss each other's dating lives. But yes, I guess I can just say I am going on a date and leave it at that! Thanks!
Qboro90 Posted August 19, 2015 Posted August 19, 2015 Could've said something to the degree of "I'm meeting someone for dinner.... Couldn't wait for you to ask me forever and I was getting so hungry!!". In a playful way. It lets him know you have other options but also that you would've went out with him if he had ever asked. 2
Author HansonGirl Posted August 19, 2015 Author Posted August 19, 2015 Could've said something to the degree of "I'm meeting someone for dinner.... Couldn't wait for you to ask me forever and I was getting so hungry!!". In a playful way. It lets him know you have other options but also that you would've went out with him if he had ever asked. oh that's cute!!! i like that! 1
La.Primavera Posted August 20, 2015 Posted August 20, 2015 Ok im not saying i want to play games. I want to know how much to even share with him if he asks me or if it comes up to avoid the friend zone. As i made clear above he was the one asking me a million questions. I am dating but i was trying to not discuss it with him but at the same time im thinking maybe it wouldnt hurt to let him know a tiny bit. Thats all i meant. And talking about seeing him exclusively -- easier said than done. Just because i want that doesnt mean hes going to be on board just because i made him discuss it. We are only flirty not even dating. That's good, I just thought that I feel like there should be some "strategy" sounded a bit like game playing so I wanted to warn you against it. You don't need to share too much about your dating. He already knows you are a desirable prospect, that is why he is so interested in your love life. I see nothing wrong with being honest and letting him know you are interested, something like what Qboro90 suggested. It turns the topic away from other guys and back to him. Good luck!
Author HansonGirl Posted August 20, 2015 Author Posted August 20, 2015 That's good, I just thought that sounded a bit like game playing so I wanted to warn you against it. You don't need to share too much about your dating. He already knows you are a desirable prospect, that is why he is so interested in your love life. I see nothing wrong with being honest and letting him know you are interested, something like what Qboro90 suggested. It turns the topic away from other guys and back to him. Good luck! hee hee yes, i did say 'strategy' but i really was just meaning there must be a way to frame it in my best interest :-)
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