How to tell the difference: wanting sex or wanting relationship

[losangelena]

Probably because I prefer to give than take.

 

OK

[ZA Dater]

Thought it would update this.

 

 

Went for my "makeover" which consisted of a haircut and going shopping. Perhaps its sounds sad but nobody has ever really made a fuss about me, it was nice having an international model taking an interest in me, offering styling advice, hair style advice and for the first time in a very, very long time I had some attention. A really nice feeling.

 

 

The friend who set this up had an ulterior motive, he thinks I should try date said model.

 

 

This is probably going to surprise a great many people, yes she is nice, extremely good looking but she isn't me, I don't feel any real attraction towards her, yes she is nice and she has a q of guys wanting to date her but there was none of that click I have with K or had with another female about 10 years ago.

 

 

Of course superficially one feels fantastic walking around with someone who everyone else stares at but personality wise nice as she is, she doesn't really interest me and I found myself again having to tone down my mind just a bit.

 

 

I have a cupboard full of new clothes, a head of redesigned hair and my friend and his wife are quite pleased with the result, deep down I know that clothes and a hair cut don't really matter all that much. Deep down I know I am at a place where unless I can have a friend like relationship with K I am really not interested in doing anything else or seeing anyone else, which is probably stupid but its hard to say why I feel like this, probably because at this stage I'd value someone really smart, average to nice to looking to TALK to and spend normal time with over trying to date someone. I haven't dated so the result would probably just leave me feeling incredibly stupid and dumb or like a fish out of water.

 

 

The positive thing here is my friends wife, who I know quite well has decided to take charge of this "transformation" of me and again this attention is quite nice, she is a similar age to me. She knows I am into K, K actually works with her so the feeling I am gathering is a lot of this transformation may in fact be tacit feedback as to where I am falling short and why K isn't interested, as I have said I don't believe the reluctance is personality but other things.

 

 

In summary, I hate asking for help at anything but IF HELP IS OFFERRED don't be too proud to take it, yes you feel terrible for admitting how bad you are at something but you ultimately feel a lot better for opening up about something than keeping it all locked up within you.

 

 

Sometimes you need to take a step into the unknown to see the picture.