good looking gals more stuck up

[joel]

do u guys find that the good looking girls -the ones who wear trendy clothes wear makeup got the latest this and that and also good loolking tend to be more stuck up not wanting to talk to u at times, u always have to approach em at time not very talktive, while the girls who are more tom boyish dressing, overweight or slightly overweight or dress very out of style tend to be more freindly.

the thing is the girls who are tom boysih and overweight i'm not attracted to or into while the good looking gals i am but can't get. i guess the good looking gals get so many guys trying to chit chat with em that they don't care about another random guy comin to her-oh ya this is in the college setting too.

oh ya btw i'm average lookin to good looking i ain;t fat. any words out there guys what do u think.

[Naive]

So what exactly do you need advice with? How to talk to the "pretty" girls? How to not underestimate "ugly" girls? How to be more appealing to certain girls? I don't understand.

[LucreziaBorgia]

Ah, the "top-tier" women. They don't even have to be exceptionally good looking, but throw enough money and effort into the maintenance and add a bucketload of confidence and you'll have the illusion of beauty. Lord knows there are more than a few less-than-perfect women posing as goddesses in sororities and social settings. Expensive haircuts/color, fake-n-bake or tanning bed hours, hours spent on sculpting and perfecting the figure, plastic surgery, veneers, dressing as feminine as possible: all that can fool the average guy into thinking 'average' is 'outstanding'. They accentuate everything that differentiates them from men, and use that as a way to attract them. They can even wear a gym outfit in such a way that makes it look as provocative as lingerie. The more confident she is about herself, the more aloof she will seem to you. Particularly since these women 'aim high' and rarely slum it with 'average'. (At least when they are young. As they get older and less concerned about conformity they will loosen the standards and date guys that they like, and not just the ones likely to impress their sisters. You can bet these women aren't aloof to really rich guys, guys who are in the same social circle, exceptionally good looking guys, or famous/popular guys.

 

I guess "good looking" women know they don't have to be nice or friendly to you in order to get your attention. They just assume they have your attention, and are able to be aloof as a result because they generally aren't concerned with keeping it. They do not allow themselves to fall into the 'friend' category, because they won't be your friend. They'll ignore you. At the very least, if you allow them - they'll use you. But... they won't be your friend. They'll only be warm to you if they are interested in dating you.

 

How to attract them? I expect that you have to present yourself as a highly confident alpha male. Go to a bar some night with friends and watch the types of guys these women flock to and make note of what makes them different from you, and see if it is possible to work some of those traits naturally into your presentation without it coming off as faked or forced. Watch how these men act, and see if you can see what it is that these women are attracted to. Watch how she acts when she is attracted, and make note of how the guy was acting that prompted her flirtation. Confidence is a must. Accentuate your 'good looking' and downplay your 'average' - the better you feel about yourself physically, the more confident you can feel.

 

This isn't to say that all women that fall in this category are like this, but as a general rule - the younger and more peer-oriented they are, the more likely they will set aside what they really want in lieu of what they think their peers want for them (and would be willing to compete for).

[Horse]

I'v actually found the opposite to be true. It usually seems like the attractive women are the ones who are more outgoing.

 

Maybe I think they are more attractive because they are outgoing or maybe I'm friendlier (subconsciously of course) and they reciprocate?

 

It seems like a lot of the frumpy women are gun-shy or just not that interested in interacting with other people.

[SexKitten]

Originally posted by Horse

I'v actually found the opposite to be true. It usually seems like the attractive women are the ones who are more outgoing.

 

Maybe I think they are more attractive because they are outgoing or maybe I'm friendlier (subconsciously of course) and they reciprocate?

 

It seems like a lot of the frumpy women are gun-shy or just not that interested in interacting with other people.

 

 

i agree. it seems to me that the ones who lack confidence have huge chips on their shoulders.

 

i don't think that i am particularly gorgeous, but i don't find myself repugnant, and i have had other girls look at me and smirk upon sight...i don't dress provocatively, i don't walk around looking at people like i want to kill them or think i am better than them.

 

i'm really nice unless you give me a reason not to be.

 

i have also noticed that if a guy says something to me, and i just kind of smile or nicely brush him because i am busy or just not interested, i get called a stuck-up bytch. if someone is staring at me for a long length of time, to the point that it's disruptive or uncomfortable, i will look back at them like "what?" or "can i help you?" but i would do this even i was in sweat pants and a holey t-shirt with stains. and then i'm stuck up, like i should apologize and offer to let them video tape me eating if they're so interested.

 

sometimes people seem stuck-up because someone was being rude first to cause them to act that way.

 

"frumpy" girls don't have as much opportunity to do this, as they probably aren't approached as often. so no one knows if they are the nicest people on the planet or the biggest bytches ever.

 

you can have confidence without being a snob. unfortunately, some people confuse the two.

 

you can be filthy dirty and have pride, or you could be a model with no self-esteem. you never know what anyone is like until you actually get to know them.

 

 

and don't stare to find out!!

[UCFKevin]

I've actually found that many many many great looking girls have really awful self esteem for some reason.

[johan]

Originally posted by UCFKevin

I've actually found that many many many great looking girls have really awful self esteem for some reason.

 

 

I've found that, too. Must be from having their personalities and intellect continually disregarded in favor of their looks. Even if they achieve something, people are less likely to notice, care or give them real credit for it. No need to actually earn good favor from people.

[XNemesisX]

Yes, I see this too. Actually, now that I think about it, most women in general have very low self-esteem for some reason. When I really sit and think about it, I don't think I know even ONE female who has good self-esteem.

 

Speaking of sorority girls....

 

Ok I will take the bullet here. I was in a sorority for a while when I was in college. I can tell you from firsthand experience that it is the most fake, superficial setting to be in. I joined when I was a freshman, in order to meet cute guys and have lots of people around me (I was very scared I would be lonely when I first came to college). I had the tanning bed tan, the highlighted long blonde hair, the make-up, and the "sorority-approved" clothes. I only talked to frat boys who belonged in one of the best frats. If you did not belong to one of the more "prestigious" frats I wouldn't have looked at you twice at that time period. I was completely superficial at one time. But it was hard keeping it up because it was not who I truly was.

 

The "rules" of the sorority were overwhelming. I had to wear certain outfits on certain days, date certain guys in certain fraternities, was not allowed to date or even talk to a guy who had dated any of my "sisters" even if was just one date they went on, the list goes on....

When we would do rush, we would only select the girls we thought were the most attractive. We would never send a bid to a girl who was not skinny with a good figure, who didn't wear nice clothes, and who did not have a pretty face. Also, we tended to pick girls who were blonde more often.

 

The girls were the pits. I did make ONE true friend from the sorority, but we ended up dropping out of it together because of how much we hated it. After I quit the sorority, I would see some of my former "sisters" on campus and they would literally ignore me like they had no idea who I was. The whole thing was such a fraud.

 

After dropping out of the sorority I was in, I noticed a major change in how I dressed and acted. I actually started to be myself.

 

The girls in the sororities you are talking about are putting up a front. I hate to say sometimes that I was one of them at one time. This is not who they really are. It's acting, trust me. My advice? Steer clear of them unless you want to be a frat boy and pay for your friends and try to be something you're not. There are plenty of attractive girls who are NOT in a sorority. Go for one of those.

[SexKitten]

at least you had good-looking girls in your sororities, nemesis.

 

at my old school, there was one decent sorority, and i think it had 3 semi-pretty girls in it.

 

the others were called like the "tri-sig pigs" and stuff like that.

 

it was bad. real bad.

 

*shudder*

[amerikajin]

oh ya btw i'm average lookin to good looking i ain;t fat. any words out there guys what do u think

 

You could be look like Andy Garcia and it wouldn't matter, Joel. Your attitude f*cking sucks. Sorry to be rude, but that's probably the biggest reason why you're not gettin' any.

 

In fact, your posts are starting to worry me a little. If I didn't know any better I'd say your frustration is getting dangerously unhealthy. Take some responsibility, look at yourself in the mirror and clean up your attitude. Do what I, alpha and a lot of other guys told you to do a long time ago - stop putting so much pressure on yourself here. You're forcing the issue, and it's not going to work. If you need some advice on where to start, post on another thread titled "advice" or something like that - you can even PM me if you wish.

 

Honestly, not trying to be rude, but you need an attitude adjustment.

[Merin]

Originally posted by amerikajin

oh ya btw i'm average lookin to good looking i ain;t fat. any words out there guys what do u think

 

You could be look like Andy Garcia and it wouldn't matter, Joel. Your attitude f*cking sucks. Sorry to be rude, but that's probably the biggest reason why you're not gettin' any.

 

In fact, your posts are starting to worry me a little. If I didn't know any better I'd say your frustration is getting dangerously unhealthy. Take some responsibility, look at yourself in the mirror and clean up your attitude. Do what I, alpha and a lot of other guys told you to do a long time ago - stop putting so much pressure on yourself here. You're forcing the issue, and it's not going to work. If you need some advice on where to start, post on another thread titled "advice" or something like that - you can even PM me if you wish.

 

Honestly, not trying to be rude, but you need an attitude adjustment.

 

Word

 

Keep in mind as well Joel that just because a Girl isn't interested in you it doesn't make her stuck up.. that's a cop out.

[RecordProducer]

Yes, good-looking girls get hit on all the time and they find it annoying unless they like the guy. But not all good-looking girls like good-looking guys. The fact that they can choose gives them the privilege of being picky, but physical beauty doesn't necessarily have to be the top priority.

Self-esteem is not related to looks. It's a very complex concept that one has of oneself.

[MWC_LifeBeginsAt40]

They could just be shy. I am shy and not usually the first to say hello. I'm sure that some people think I am stuck up.

 

I have some self-esteem issues (self-conscious) but have gotten alot better in my later years.

 

I'm comfortable with guys who can relax around me and smile, and not get pissed off or show an attitude. It doesn't matter what they look like, although I am more intimidated by good-looking, outgoing, powerful men, but that's just me.

[alphamale]

my observation about attractive women is that, in general and not always, they tend to be fairly non-intellectual or of avg intelligence, at best.

 

even the ones who are college educated are not too swift. I think it comes cause they never had to develop their intellect to get anything. Some of them are just plain stupid.

 

It is rare that I meet a very attractive woman who is also highly intellectually developed. I met one last nite at that speed dater thing who was gorgeous and a chiropractor (8 yrs of college and post grad), but women like her are an exception.

 

and one last observation. self esteem and personality have little to do with the way you look. I have met ugly and fat women who are educated with a good job that seem to have hi self esteem. On other hand I have met gorgeous women who have real low self esteem. Same with personality.

[Linlin]

Originally posted by alphamale

self esteem and personality have little to do with the way you look. I have met ugly and fat women who are educated with a good job that seem to have hi self esteem. On other hand I have met gorgeous women who have real low self esteem. Same with personality.

 

Word.

 

 

Anyway, aren't we all attracted to different types thankfully. What one person finds attractive another may not.

 

Read my quote below by Sophia Loren

[st8toftheheart]

Originally posted by alphamale

my observation about attractive women is that, in general and not always, they tend to be fairly non-intellectual or of avg intelligence, at best.

 

even the ones who are college educated are not too swift. I think it comes cause they never had to develop their intellect to get anything. Some of them are just plain stupid.

 

It is rare that I meet a very attractive woman who is also highly intellectually developed. I met one last nite at that speed dater thing who was gorgeous and a chiropractor (8 yrs of college and post grad), but women like her are an exception.

 

and one last observation. self esteem and personality have little to do with the way you look. I have met ugly and fat women who are educated with a good job that seem to have hi self esteem. On other hand I have met gorgeous women who have real low self esteem. Same with personality.

 

Word.

 

I figure everyone else is giving that out. I'll give you some props.

[SadAndLonely]

I attend a university where I'm surrounded by tons of people who are roughly 10 years younger than me (I'm 30), and have classes with a lot of them. I'm very confident and friendly, and I find pretty girls to be just as friendly as the not-so-pretty ones. In fact, sometimes the really pretty ones are very shy. I think I come across as a big sister to them, though, and that's why they like yakking it up with me so much. It's all a matter of individual personality.

[blind_otter]

Originally posted by alphamale

It is rare that I meet a very attractive woman who is also highly intellectually developed. I met one last nite at that speed dater thing who was gorgeous and a chiropractor (8 yrs of college and post grad), but women like her are an exception.

 

Maaaaaaybe it's just the attractive women you meet. I dunno. I know a lot of hot intelligent ladies.

 

But I agree with Amerikajin. Joel, babe, I've read your posts before and they ooze this despressive despair.

 

Maybe you should just work on feeling good about yourself WITHOUT a relationship. Relationships come when you least expect them, and when they are least convenient.

[laRubiaBonita]

Originally posted by blind_otter

 

Maaaaaaybe it's just the attractive women you meet. I dunno. I know a lot of hot intelligent ladies.

 

 

 

Maybe it is just joel.

[alphamale]

Originally posted by blind_otter

Maaaaaaybe it's just the attractive women you meet. I dunno. I know a lot of hot intelligent ladies.

My observation is that for every attractive and smart woman there are ten ugly and smart women. Ask any dude, he will corelate.

 

Maybe you should just work on feeling good about yourself WITHOUT a relationship. Relationships come when you least expect them, and when they are least convenient.

Yes, B_0, I think we need to get JOEL on Paxil or Zoloft or some other SSRI.

[ConfusedInOC]

I find that MOST (not all) women who "seem" to be top tier, who look great and look like they spent a lot of money to get there, are lacking self-confidence and are insecure.

 

They might be willing to date an average looking guy but sometimes, to make themselves feel better they blow him off. "See, I can have any guy I want so I'll blow off a guy I might be interested in simply to boost my self esteem."

 

Don't take it personal. It might not even be you. You might be surprised but if you don't fear talking to good looking women, you'll find that you'll find more than one that's willing to date you (as long as they aren't dating someone already.) It's the insecure ones who will most likely blow you off.

[Chipmonk]

Originally posted by alphamale

My observation is that for every attractive and smart woman there are ten ugly and smart women. Ask any dude, he will corelate.

Correlated, though I would have put the ratio at 1:3. But there's one saving grace - we don't all think the same ones are attractive and smart!

 

One moment I want to share: I overheard a conversation between two girls in an on-campus cafe once, one was complaining to the other about how she was frustrated that all the guys she dated seemed to only want to get drunk on the weekends, and didn't want to do anything that wasn't party or alcohol. And it came out that she was only dating guys in a few certain frats. Well DUH girl... if you're not into the drunken-partying culture, why are you only looking at frat boys?

 

My observation - this from a Computer Science major, eyeing the few ladies in the department - the hottest women are some of the smartest as well. I haven't met many attractive/dumb women, though there are quite a few ugly/smart ones (which, somehow, seem very attractive to the more ecclectic people around me). Then again, computer science is rather self-selecting, you can't survive it without a healthy dose of self-confidence.

[st8toftheheart]

Originally posted by alphamale

My observation is that for every attractive and smart woman there are ten ugly and smart women. Ask any dude, he will corelate.

 

Corelated.

[amerikajin]

That's because the number of average or below average women (in terms of attractiveness) outnumber the above average women - that's just the way graph curves. Same for men, too, I presume.

[tokyo]

Originally posted by alphamale

My observation is that for every attractive and smart woman there are ten ugly and smart women. Ask any dude, he will corelate.

 

Originally posted by st8toftheheart

Corelated.

It's correlate. My observation is that average dudes often complain about average women. Ugly dudes often complain about ugly women. Superficial guys often complain about superficial women.

 

Now, correlate, please.

 

To Joel, guys run after this kind of girl because they are stuck up and have this aura of being highly desirable, then they complain about it. Other guys don't (have to) run after them and simply don't complain about it.