friendlyone Posted May 10, 2005 Share Posted May 10, 2005 Can anyone offer some advice? This guy and I started out just being friends. In the meantime we now talk every day, are planning a vacation together, and have even slept in the same bed platonically. He is attentive, sweet, holds my hand and gives other hints that he is interested, but has made no serious move. He is mature, definitely not gay, and goal-focused. Most friends tell me he is probably interested, but waiting for the right situation. They also say he wouldn't be going on a vacation and spending so much time with me if he wasnt interested. He has shared so much with me in conversation as I have with him. As you can guess, I am crazy about him but am afraid that if I bring up the subject of a next move, he will back off. How about some objective opinions? Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted May 11, 2005 Share Posted May 11, 2005 How can he sleep in the same bed and not want to get it on? Preposterous. Something's up... Link to post Share on other sites
Marshbear Posted May 11, 2005 Share Posted May 11, 2005 I agree. Something's up. An interested guy sleeping in the same bed with you and nothing happened? Did you let him know you were open to him? Either he has will power made of steel or you are in the friends category. You don't want to ask him because he might back off. Are you willing to settle for things as they are? This maybe what you have to do if the two if you can't get on the same page. I say take a chance. Make sure he knows you are INTERESTED. If he doesn't reciprocate then you have to decide if you can live with being friends... Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted May 11, 2005 Share Posted May 11, 2005 Let me guess: he is a passionate, energetic, very sexual and cheerful guy who is a magnet for women. He loves women and loves every part of their bodies. He enjoys female company and is surrounded mostly by women (has more female than male friends). Link to post Share on other sites
Author friendlyone Posted May 15, 2005 Author Share Posted May 15, 2005 Marshbear - You are on the right track. I am afraid to take the next step, afraid of the possibility of rejection. Its just that the signals get mixed up and I'm not sure where we stand. Actually, we are taking a vacation together to a romantic place. I think I just have to wait and see what happens then. Link to post Share on other sites
PappyBoyington Posted May 18, 2005 Share Posted May 18, 2005 This may sound a bit high school-ish, but do both of you have a mutual friend that could ask him about his feelings for you? It might avoid potential awkwardness if someone else just went up and said "Hey, what do you think of her? Are you guys an item? Would you like to be?" Maybe that's not the best way to handle it but just and idea. Cheers and best of luck in love! Link to post Share on other sites
Jadey Posted May 18, 2005 Share Posted May 18, 2005 Ok, YOU need to make a move if you ike him. If he seems so interested but havent made a move then hes probably afraid of rejection too. Kiss him. But i have to say it IS abit weird oyu slept in the same bed but he didnt try anything on Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted May 19, 2005 Share Posted May 19, 2005 Originally posted by Jadey Ok, YOU need to make a move if you ike him. If he seems so interested but havent made a move then hes probably afraid of rejection too. Kiss him. But i have to say it IS abit weird oyu slept in the same bed but he didnt try anything on I agree. Next time he's standing with his back to you walk up behind him, run a finger down the nape of his neck, follow up with a kiss in the same place then walk away. Or run, if you want to spice it up a bit Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted May 19, 2005 Share Posted May 19, 2005 Originally posted by RecordProducer Let me guess: he is a passionate, energetic, very sexual and cheerful guy who is a magnet for women. He loves women and loves every part of their bodies. He enjoys female company and is surrounded mostly by women (has more female than male friends). Where are you going with this, RP? I'm kinda curious... Link to post Share on other sites
BigB Posted May 19, 2005 Share Posted May 19, 2005 Have some drinks on vacation and then kiss him, if he kiss's back your good to go, if he doesn't and weirds out on you, blame it on the drinks. Link to post Share on other sites
BigB Posted May 19, 2005 Share Posted May 19, 2005 Originally posted by ReluctantRomeo Where are you going with this, RP? I'm kinda curious... Implying that he might be gay maybe? Link to post Share on other sites
o0lovindrama0o Posted June 4, 2005 Share Posted June 4, 2005 Here is the deal: this happens to almost everyone. It happened to me. We kissed, liked it, and swore it would never happen again. We still are affectionate, sleep in the same bed at times, and talk to one another every day. Maybe that is kind of sad, but that is the way it has to be for us. Link to post Share on other sites
girl-with-sense Posted June 14, 2005 Share Posted June 14, 2005 friendlyone: I get the feeling he has grown to like you much more than a friend and maybe is planning to surprise you on the vacation that you two are planning. I wouldn't make a move just yet because if this is the case, you'll just end up ruining everything. A lot of guys still like to do the chasing even though some may not show much of it. So wait and see what happens. And if nothing happens - though it's difficult to imagine why nothing would happen - then feel free to make the move. And if nothing happens here, then move on. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Man Posted June 15, 2005 Share Posted June 15, 2005 I wouldn't sweat this... about a year ago I was seeing a girl and she wasn't entirely comfortable with making things between us completetly physical. I was patient and shared a bed with her a number of times with no physical intimacy. Of course, that changed within a couple of weeks... Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted June 15, 2005 Share Posted June 15, 2005 Where are you going with this, RP? I'm kinda curious... ROTFL!! Are you that naïve, RR? Next she'll ask if he likes decorating and musicals LOL. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Man Posted June 15, 2005 Share Posted June 15, 2005 As an added thought to my earlier reply... Because I did wait for her to feel comfortable with intimacy (and that included us sharing a bed with no sex for awhile), once we DID start having sex, she couldn't get enough! She was initiating it all the time! I'm quite sure that one of the reasons for this is that I didn't pressure her unnecessarily b4 intimacy. For a long time, she told me she was uncomfortable with the idea of us being intimate and I let her know where I stood (that I found her attractive and wanted to be her boyfriend) but I also told her that if it wasn't going to happen, that's fine too. I respect her feelings and value her friendship (which was true). So I think she really trusted me and was certain that it wasn't just a booty call. I did respect her feelings and would (ultimately) not force the sex card if she wasn't up for it.... I found that attitude made our intimacy all the better. PLUS, I was seeing (and sometimes sleeping with other women) while pursuing my main woman. Hey... It's known as playing the field. And once I became intimate with my main lady, I ceased and decisted from such behaviour. So the lesson I learnt from that situation is.... 1.Let her (or him) know your true romantic intentions, but do so in a tasteful manner. 2. Be persistent with your intentions but NOT pressuring (this is a question of balance) 3. Respect the other person and their feelings. No means no. 4. If it isn't going to progress to intimacy, be prepared to be their friend (unless this just isn't an option in which case you need to distance yourself from them immediately). 5. Once you've crossed the line over into intimacy, don't think you can downshift to being only friends later. No chance. One or the other will be pissed and that's that. You can be lovers AND friends (but this is an entirely different thing). 6. If you're not going to become lovers and you choose to stay friends, don't be bitter and angry. Move on and find the next one (and keep your new friend, hopefully he/she was of interest to you above the waist as well!) 7. Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Unless you are exclusive with each other (ie, married, live-together, etc), pursue other women/men! Don't sit around waiting for that one person to call you back! That is ridiculous and pretty damaging if it doesn't work out. If you meet someone special and want to become exclusive, it will happen naturally over time. Guess that's my 2 cents. Hope it's of help. Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 Originally posted by moimeme ROTFL!! Are you that naïve, RR? Next she'll ask if he likes decorating and musicals LOL. Lol. I kind of thought that was where RP was going, but wasn't sure... Link to post Share on other sites
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