Another failed married man - mistress story

[Furious]

Eehh no although I could have if my mistress had told me. It is actually a crazy story. My wife was acting weird, and sometimes she went to sleep in another room. She said it was because she got up early to go jogging and she didn't want to wake me up. I didn't suspect a thing but one time when she was out jogging I saw her phone and there was a sex message on it. I saw some of the chat, and I figured it out.

 

Now the crazy part is that my mistress then told me she had known for pretty much a year but just never told me. I guess that made her feel better herself for going out with me or something. My mistress is some kind of hacker, and she had found my wife's PIN on Facebook and then she was able to hack my wife's phone. I got some of the chat and pics from my mistress to confront my wife. My wife must have thought I was a genius.

 

I don't know exactly how it works. She never wanted to tell me because it was all some secret programming. My mistress told me she does these 'background checks' on many people so she is never fooled by anyone, but I thought it was creepy and I was mad at her for not telling me. I only have an old phone myself, but be careful out there with your phones!

 

You all sound creepy, I feel sorry for your child.

[purplesorrow]

I think she said she was just curious. I don't really know. It was 2 years ago. When my head is a bit clearer like now I can see this mistress wasn't good for me. I really want to become a better husband for my wife. I couldn't leave her before and I do think I still love her. I just need some time to figure it all out and start talking to my wife again. Thanks.

 

So... A mistress who doesn't even want to to talk to your wife didn't take an opportunity to make your wife look bad by outing her affair?

[Celestial-dreamer]

Eehh no although I could have if my mistress had told me. It is actually a crazy story. My wife was acting weird, and sometimes she went to sleep in another room. She said it was because she got up early to go jogging and she didn't want to wake me up. I didn't suspect a thing but one time when she was out jogging I saw her phone and there was a sex message on it. I saw some of the chat, and I figured it out.

 

Now the crazy part is that my mistress then told me she had known for pretty much a year but just never told me. I guess that made her feel better herself for going out with me or something. My mistress is some kind of hacker, and she had found my wife's PIN on Facebook and then she was able to hack my wife's phone. I got some of the chat and pics from my mistress to confront my wife. My wife must have thought I was a genius.

 

I don't know exactly how it works. She never wanted to tell me because it was all some secret programming. My mistress told me she does these 'background checks' on many people so she is never fooled by anyone, but I thought it was creepy and I was mad at her for not telling me. I only have an old phone myself, but be careful out there with your phones!

 

 

Geez this gets more bizarre! How dare your mistress spy on your wife....and when she does, she doesn't tell you? Is that really the type of woman you can love? One who will hack your wife's private details? Urgh. It's bad enough she's sleeping with her husband she then puts her nose in her business. Did you confront your wife about her online A's? Remember though her's weren't in the real world with physical touching, you went the whole way. Not saying your wife's A's are any less, but you don't seem bothered. Is that because you had your own bit on the side? I can only see D for your marriage. Both of you have stepped out. Think about it, you obviously didn't give your wife the attention she needs/wants, so she looked elsewhere, which led you to whinge she wasn't having sex with you so you found a real life bed buddy. It amazes me how many MM's moan about lack of sex yet refuse to talk to their wives as to WHY she's not interested. It's so simple, yet so hard for you to do you would rather blow up your wife's and families lives, hurt them and damage them than open your mouth.

[autumnnight]

I have paired your story down to a few sentences:

 

You chose to have an affair, met someone online, and began a relationship with this mistress.

 

Your mistress decided to hack and spy on your BW.

 

During your A, while you were likely distant and inattentive to your wife, she began chatting online.

 

Because your mistress has no boundaries and was spying, she found this out and thought about telling you but decided to keep the info until it would best serve her.

 

You found out about the chatting and got angry (irony) and continued YOUR actual flesh and blood affair.

 

You claim to have ended the affair, but you want to know how to remain best buds with your mistress/stalker/hacker.

 

You somehow thinks letting us know your wife chatted online will make you look less bad.

 

You want all the angst to go away so you can move on.

 

 

Question: Who do you believe is responsible for your A?

[Hawaii51]

This guy has no one to talk to and just wants more attention, even if it's the bad kind- so long as it doesn't effect his "real life."

 

I'd stop trying to comfort or berate this guy. Let him sulk with his thoughts and actions.

 

@OP, know someone else is most likely deep inside your wife's heart, mouth, and vagina. Also, your son is the only reason you're together- that and you make decent enough money.

[truncated]

Eehh no although I could have if my mistress had told me. It is actually a crazy story. My wife was acting weird, and sometimes she went to sleep in another room. She said it was because she got up early to go jogging and she didn't want to wake me up. I didn't suspect a thing but one time when she was out jogging I saw her phone and there was a sex message on it. I saw some of the chat, and I figured it out.

 

Now the crazy part is that my mistress then told me she had known for pretty much a year but just never told me. I guess that made her feel better herself for going out with me or something. My mistress is some kind of hacker, and she had found my wife's PIN on Facebook and then she was able to hack my wife's phone. I got some of the chat and pics from my mistress to confront my wife. My wife must have thought I was a genius.

 

I don't know exactly how it works. She never wanted to tell me because it was all some secret programming. My mistress told me she does these 'background checks' on many people so she is never fooled by anyone, but I thought it was creepy and I was mad at her for not telling me. I only have an old phone myself, but be careful out there with your phones!

 

 

Um....dude...I highly suggest you do the following.

 

(a) tell your wife RIGHT NOW what has happened. Your ow sounds like she has some serious issues. She also broke the law and had ZERO business doing what she did. your wife needs to be able to protect herself.

 

(b) Call the police and get a protective order to keep your ex ow away form you and your wife.

 

© Count yourself damned lucky that you got away from this woman when you did. She sounds like she is not exactly stable

 

(d) RUN! don;t look back, just get the hell away form her, now.

[Mr. Lucky]

I have paired your story down to a few sentences:

 

You chose to have an affair, met someone online, and began a relationship with this mistress.

 

Your mistress decided to hack and spy on your BW.

 

During your A, while you were likely distant and inattentive to your wife, she began chatting online.

 

Because your mistress has no boundaries and was spying, she found this out and thought about telling you but decided to keep the info until it would best serve her.

 

You found out about the chatting and got angry (irony) and continued YOUR actual flesh and blood affair.

 

You claim to have ended the affair, but you want to know how to remain best buds with your mistress/stalker/hacker.

 

You somehow thinks letting us know your wife chatted online will make you look less bad.

 

You want all the angst to go away so you can move on.

 

 

While technically accurate, it's like distilling WWII down to the fact that Hitler had a few boundary issues.

 

themarriedman, here's something to think about - one way to judge the veracity of your current path in life is to think about its impact on the people close to you, yourself included.

 

So, current situation:

 

Works for you? No...

 

Works for your W? No. And if she knew all, hell no...

 

Works for your OW? No...

 

Works for your son? No...

 

And given your messy emotional state, we could probably add your boss, coworkers, friends and extended family to this list.

 

Pretty powerful call for change...

 

Mr. Lucky

[stillafool]

Hello,

 

 

She knows I can't leave my wife.

 

 

I really want to fall in love with my wife again, but right now I can't. I feel nothing when I hug my wife. All I think about is my mistress and how I messed it up, and how much I miss her.

 

 

 

I then ruined the perfect moment to come out with my truth, and

reconcile with my wife, but instead I got mad at her and I continued with my mistress.

 

 

but I can't be in love with 2 women at the same time. It will take some

time to fall back in love with my wife again if that is even possible.

 

I really want to become a better husband for my wife. I couldn't leave her before and I do think I still love her.

 

You don't sound like you know what you want and I would recommend that you to get independent counseling. You say you don't love your wife one minute but your mistress and the next minute you declare love for your wife and said your mistress is bad. Who wants to be with a man who hasn't a clue what he wants or what he's doing?

 

You should have defended your wife against your mistresses spying against her. You didn't even tell her to stop at once or show any type of anger. I hope your wife finds out and sues the pants off of your mistress. If I were your wife and found out you were perfectly okay with your side thang spying on me I would throw you out of the house.

[flowergirl14]

Tell your wife today! That will really put things in perspective.

[the_artist_1970]

This mistress breaking into the BW personal accounts; SMH, and the WH won't even forewarn his W that some crazy woman is peaking into her business and breaking the law. MM, you have some serious issues and so does your mistress. It sounds like you two deserve each other. Please set your W free to find someone who will love, honor, respect and protect her from crazy side chicks? Your W probably sought out an online affair because you were absent from the marriage while you were so in luuuuv with your mistress. It was probably more than an online affair because you were totally check out of the M and she was looking for a man to hold her and make her feel good. This crazy mistress sounds like she is destined for a starring role in an episode of Snapped. Stay tuned.

[truncated]

While i admit your wife should not have cheated ( not a good way to handle her dissatisfaction at all, and it only led to more problems) your ow sounds like she is severely lacking in the morals department.

 

 

She also sounds very much like she is exhibiting behavior seen in those with a cluster B type personality disorder.

 

https://www.mentalhelp.net/articles/dsm-5-the-ten-personality-disorders-cluster-b/

 

I'm not exaggerating when I say she could be dangerous especially to your wife, who may perceive as being the source of her hurt feelings.

[AlwaysGrowing]

You might want to research rejection. It seems that you were fine in both relationships until there was some form of rejection. Is rejection that big of a blow to your ego that you then have to build up your feelings/needs/wants to something greater..to avoid the rejection?

 

Does it not concern you that you were not motivated to further the affair until the OW took back her acceptance of everything that is you? Or that you went to your wife for comfort about the rejection from the OW? Or that you enlisted the help? of the OW to bring the rejection (online affair) of your wife to an end?

 

Are you able to live beyond the bubble that is you...and see how your actions hurt others?

 

I will enlighten you about how your wife will feel about the OW illegal hacking of her phone....and you using the info to put your wife back in line....take an affair and put a multiplier of between 10-100 on it. It is beyond incredulous. It is beyond belief. It is beyond bizarre.

 

 

Get thyself into IC.....because you have serious, serious boundary issues.

[sandylee1]

I have to agree that your mistress is crazy. She was obsessed with the woman (his wife) who was/is standing in the way of getting to the man of her dreams. These are the mistresses who also stalk your kids on social media.

 

All you MM out there having affairs, you put your wife, kids and other family members at risk when you have affairs. This is the kind of crazy that happens when you bring a third party into your marriage.

 

OP - why can't you leave your wife? You said your mistress knows you can't leave her, why not?

 

It isn't love keeping you, so what is it?

[Cloudcuckoo]

While i admit your wife should not have cheated ( not a good way to handle her dissatisfaction at all, and it only led to more problems) your ow sounds like she is severely lacking in the morals department.

 

 

She also sounds very much like she is exhibiting behavior seen in those with a cluster B type personality disorder.

 

https://www.mentalhelp.net/articles/dsm-5-the-ten-personality-disorders-cluster-b/

 

I'm not exaggerating when I say she could be dangerous especially to your wife, who may perceive as being the source of her hurt feelings.

.

 

I can tell you from experience that it is disturbing discovering that the other woman had access to personal information without consent, watching our relationship through personal email accounts when apart (work separation periods) and gaining access to family and financial business.

 

It made me feel sick to my stomach to discover that my husbands concubine was literally monitoring my every move. She wanted my life as his wife most definitely, and was willing to do whatever it took to have it.

 

You should be aware OP, that bad things can occur as a result of this kind of illegal activity.

 

My husbands other woman thought she was oh so clever until she ended up detained at Her Majesty's pleasure.

 

Probably didn't think it quite so amusing then.

[sweet_pea]

Yeah, her hacking into your wife's FB account is not good at all and I can't imagine why you'd still want to be her friend? I can only imagine what other accounts she may hack into and other information she'll have access to that is none of her business. This is just very wild...

[AlwaysGrowing]

Eehh no although I could have if my mistress had told me. It is actually a crazy story. My wife was acting weird, and sometimes she went to sleep in another room. She said it was because she got up early to go jogging and she didn't want to wake me up. I didn't suspect a thing but one time when she was out jogging I saw her phone and there was a sex message on it. I saw some of the chat, and I figured it out.

 

Now the crazy part is that my mistress then told me she had known for pretty much a year but just never told me. I guess that made her feel better herself for going out with me or something. My mistress is some kind of hacker, and she had found my wife's PIN on Facebook and then she was able to hack my wife's phone. I got some of the chat and pics from my mistress to confront my wife. My wife must have thought I was a genius.

 

I don't know exactly how it works. She never wanted to tell me because it was all some secret programming. My mistress told me she does these 'background checks' on many people so she is never fooled by anyone, but I thought it was creepy and I was mad at her for not telling me. I only have an old phone myself, but be careful out there with your phones!

 

 

The fact you were mad the OW didn't tell you sooner is just as disturbing as what the OW did.

 

A reasonable person would view this as disturbing/illegal behaviour. A reasonable person would have sought legal advice.

 

The OW does not know where her rights end.....where others rights begin. And I am not talking about your RIGHT to know.

 

Again...I can not stress this loudly enough....get thyself into IC.

[Mr. Lucky]

The fact you were mad the OW didn't tell you sooner is just as disturbing as what the OW did.

 

A reasonable person would view this as disturbing/illegal behaviour. A reasonable person would have sought legal advice.

 

The OW does not know where her rights end.....where others rights begin. And I am not talking about your RIGHT to know.

 

Again...I can not stress this loudly enough....get thyself into IC.

 

I'm wondering why the OP isn't more scared?

 

themarriedman, don't you find both the hacking and keeping her access to your wife's account a secret from you to be alarming behavior ???

 

Mr. Lucky

[sandylee1]

I'm wondering why the OP isn't more scared?

 

themarriedman, don't you find both the hacking and keeping her access to your wife's account a secret from you to be alarming behavior ???

 

Mr. Lucky

 

 

She must have hacked his account as well. I bet she knows EVERYTHING about your family from bank info to your child's school.

 

Steer clear from this psycho who didn't want you talking to your wife. She obviously forgot she was your bit on the side somewhere along the way.